Need help with first date conversation

[justin84]

Let me preface this by saying I am new to all of this and you guys are lightyears ahead of me when it comes to women, so I appreciate any advice or criticism .

I just recently got out of a LTR about three months ago so I'm just starting to get back into dating. Last night I went on a first date with a russian girl I met online. Things started out fine. We went to a pool hall and played a few games, but then we sat down to try and get to know each other..

Now, I'm an introvert by nature but I do really try to make an effort to open up on dates. However, I am by no means a master conversationalist. It seemed like every subject I brought up was either too boring for her or I'd get short responses followed by awkward silences. I can only go through so many topics like this before I just completely run out of things to say. All the while she's protesting for me to talk to her. It was extremely awkward to say the least. When she started texting on her phone I got pissed and walked out.

So needless to say I will probably not be seeing this one again but the experience has made me realize that I seriously need to work on my conversational skills. I'm looking for any advice on how to do this, or even for specific topics of conversation that have worked well for you. Thanks for any help.

 

[zekko]

Tyler Durden says he doesn't tolerate guys saying they run out of things to say. He says they have a whole life worth of experiences to draw on, so there's no excuse. I think that is a bit of a copout however. A lot of people have trouble thinking of things to say.

Someone here recommended a book called "How to make great conversation and small talk" which I thought was very good.

 

[squirrels]

You can't build attraction by playing 20 questions, or by boring her to death by talking about yourself.

Ask open-ended questions...talk about HER, and when you find you have common ground, throw a story in there...but keep it short.

What you say isn't necessarily important, as long as you don't "screw it up".

Best article I've seen on it:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/converse.htm

 

[kingsam]

Tyler Durden says he doesn't tolerate guys saying they run out of things to say. He says they have a whole life worth of experiences to draw on, so there's no excuse. I think that is a bit of a copout however. A lot of people have trouble thinking of things to say.

Someone here recommended a book called "How to make great conversation and small talk" which I thought was very good.

it still a very valid opinion....

"how to make friends and influence people" by dale carnegie is another good book
- getting people to talk about themselves is always a winner - peoples favorite topic!

 

[justin84]

@Kingsam - I've actually had that book suggested before and never got it. Thanks for reminding me, I'm going to buy it today.

 

[COD]

DUDE U SCREWED UP.........U met her at a bar/pool......you should have talked a bit to establish physical chemistry.....shared a drink, light conversation THEN TRANSITIONED TO the pool table within 3-5 minutes.

The pool table serves as your buffer zone so that you are not on a interview date, its casual fun, less direct contact.

Play for a buck then next game ask for a rematch and play for favors.....LOSER has to kiss the winner and no reciprication from the winner, and escalate from there.

You gotta introduce KINO........"hey you are holding that stick wrong"......smooth strokes like this, let me show you.

When you touch the individual in an appropriate way, short durration and gosh get that kiss.........THEN U CAN TAKE A BREAK AND get to know each other.

You had the right idea........action date, but you remained in friend zone, and a lil out of sequence.

Lesson learned now make your adjustments for next time and you WILL see how much easier the conversation flows

 

[justin84]

Good advice, thanks a lot. I will definitely take this into consideration next time.