need help with female friend

[DJArlington]

Guys :

As my last relationship was ending I met a real nice girl through one of my female friends. The problem is instead of pursuing her I became friends with her - this is because things were still back and forth between my ex and I and I thought that may be I would get back with my ex. Obviously, for the better, that didn't happen.

I think she (my friend) might be interested in something further, but I'm not sure. We've hung out one on hung a few times but I haven't made a move. At this point I've got to do something. We get along great and I think she might be interested.

How do I pursue this further? Obviously, I have to be prepared to lose her friendship (which would kind of suck but I could never be long term friends with her, that would just suck).

Should I get her drunk ? (this would be easiest)

Should I just ask her out ?

Should I make a move the next time I'm out with her?

I could be straight up with her that I like her and want to take her on a date, but I think for some reason that it may scare her.

Your input is appreciated! Thanks Djs!

 

[Warrior74]

:flowers:

lol. no seriously. Make a move.

 

[bigjohnson]

.... this is because things were still back and forth between my ex and I and I thought that may be I would get back with my ex. Obviously, for the better, that didn't happen.

In case you didn't notice, this was your mistake. Hanging around putting your life on hold while your ex decides what to do? Whoops.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hey, good news, I can think of a much easier way for you to hook up,...

Go meet new women. Spin more plates.

You need to see your desire to escalate this 'friend' into something more for what it is - A BUFFER AGAINST REJECTION. You're looking for the easiest way to transition back into the comfy Mommy/Girlfriend position you were just dismissed from in the safest most non-confrontational way possible. Thus the "friend" is now your Buffer for that. She's your pivot. It's much scarier a thought to face real rejection than try to "work it out" with a 'friend'. Horsesh!t! You will waste even more time and valuable opportunities trying to polish this girl into a GF instead of facing real rejection that would serve you better.

Now get out there and Sarge! You've wasted enough time waiting for the Ex to give you permission to live.

 

[thedeparted]

Give her "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman along with a love sonnet you composed yourself. This is sure to win her over. Just make sure you propose marriage right away before she loses interest.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Hey, good news, I can think of a much easier way for you to hook up,...

Go meet new women. Spin more plates.

You need to see your desire to escalate this 'friend' into something more for what it is - A BUFFER AGAINST REJECTION. You're looking for the easiest way to transition back into the comfy Mommy/Girlfriend position you were just dismissed from in the safest most non-confrontational way possible. Thus the "friend" is now your Buffer for that. She's your pivot. It's much scarier a thought to face real rejection than try to "work it out" with a 'friend'. Horsesh!t! You will waste even more time and valuable opportunities trying to polish this girl into a GF instead of facing real rejection that would serve you better.

Now get out there and Sarge! You've wasted enough time waiting for the Ex to give you permission to live.

A true gem by Rollo. I often wait for these from Rollo, among all the geeky "scientific" and "psychology" studies he likes to point to. Not saying they are bad, just don't always have the time for this.

Rollo, you got that right. "You've wasted enough time waiting for the Ex to give you permission to live." Oh, man. That is something most of of us here have experienced , in one way or another. Something I've been thinking about lately. You nailed it. I will have to put that on my quote section of my "Tool Box".

 

[DJArlington]

I have one plate but nothing that I'm really interested in. As usual, you guys are right, I have to go after the women I truly want and desire. I gotta be a man and I can't make apologies for it.