Need help with Ex!

[LondonTowers]

So we've been broken up a year, due to me being unavailable at the time due to stress of being jobless.. the breakup was mutual and I have done low contact and no contact and she's been in a relationship with another guy for about 8 months. Recently we started talking again and she seems really excited to chat. We met up last week and had a bunch to drink. She basically told me things aren't going great with her boyfriend and was impressed with my new job. We had light Kino and tiggled each other and her body language was generally good.. but I didn't push much and showed fair amount of indifference.

You see here is the problem, she started talking about all these guys at work that like her and then asked me if she thought her boss liked her with some of his flirty language. I played it like I didn't care and was like "yeah probably, why don't you go out with him" and she was like, "oh he's my boss and we have an age difference", but then was like talking about how ambitious he was and is a nice guy.

So basically I'm not sure if I should just **** this off or try one last pursuit as I wouldn't mind getting her back. I think her current relationship is coming to an end and she is now auditioning for her next. I think a part of her is still attracted to me and she can see I am different emotionally and financially. The other guys at her work are just beta orbiters, but her boss is now my main competition. How should I play this, I think her boss is gonna try and play her as he is already in a LTR and wants a bit of office *****.. but he has an advantage of seeing her everyday and being her boss.

She is sending me very friendly text messages with loads of smiley faces which she doesn't usually do and we currently have a good energy flow between us, but I don't want to get stuck in friendzone as she transitions between current bf and her boss. I need to step in and make her want me and find a way of destroying her want for her boss without looking jealous. Help!

 

[gravityeyelids]

I'm pretty sure that the boss isnt a threat, she's probably just trying to make you jealous.

It's a good sign that you guys met in a public place and she didnt go over the line or try to kiss you or anything (aka: cheat on her current boyfriend). If you get ANY indication that she is doing anything to cheat on her current boyfriend before breaking up with him (whether it's with her boss or you or whoever), then RUN and dont even consider dating her again.

The fact that it ended on good terms between you is good. You were both mature enough to realize that it wasnt going to work due to logistics.

You have to evaluate this for yourself. The guys here dont know your ex. Did you guys have an exciting, fun relationship when you dated? Was she cool, rational, mature, down to earth? Did she throw fits or do anything to indicate she is insecure, crazy, emotionally unfit or otherwise?

I dont think it's a terrible idea to get back with her if you both decide to. THAT BEING SAID. Dont drop everything and focus on her. In your mind you need to write her off as being gone. You need to keep spinning plates and dating other girls. If she comes to you an says she has ended it with her boyfriend and would like to get back with you, then make the decision then. Until then, dont get worked up over her and try not to think "what if". It very well might not happen.

 

[Arthy]

Pathetic. You want to fight against another dude for you ex, when she should be one fighting for you. Exes are exes for a reason. Stop posting and read a dj bible

 

[RagingBalls]

This is your moment. She had hers

You see here is the problem, she started talking about all these guys at work that like her and then asked me if she thought her boss liked her with some of his flirty language. I played it like I didn't care and was like "yeah probably, why don't you go out with him" and she was like, "oh he's my boss and we have an age difference", but then was like talking about how ambitious he was and is a nice guy.

Usually, when a girl especially an ex tells you about another guy that likes her, or hitting upon her; its her way of implying to you she still is attractive to other men. Might not always be true at some point as we know girls have huge egos

So basically I'm not sure if I should just **** this off or try one last pursuit as I wouldn't mind getting her back. I think her current relationship is coming to an end and she is now auditioning for her next. I think a part of her is still attracted to me and she can see I am different emotionally and financially. The other guys at her work are just beta orbiters, but her boss is now my main competition. How should I play this, I think her boss is gonna try and play her as he is already in a LTR and wants a bit of office *****.. but he has an advantage of seeing her everyday and being her boss. [/COLOR][/B]

I also had the same experience before, if a girl likes you, and she likes you a lot; you'll be the apple of her eyes no matter if her boss or superiors are hitting upon her. It would just be harder for her situation though, as she regularly deal with them professionally. This girl i dated quit her job as soon as things go sour with her superior taking her rejection personally.

She is sending me very friendly text messages with loads of smiley faces which she doesn't usually do and we currently have a good energy flow between us, but I don't want to get stuck in friendzone as she transitions between current bf and her boss. I need to step in and make her want me and find a way of destroying her want for her boss without looking jealous. Help!

Ask her out once again, she's showing signs of interest to you because you had become a better version of yourself, just don't stop improving yourself. Be in awesome shape, improve your overall appearance and be successful in your career. With these three elements, plus throw in a good sense of humour and positive personality attracts females. I bet you are having a good time with your life now and don't forget that you can have a lot of options other than her...the abundance mentality.
Anyways, if you really dig this girl. Make her work for it. Do a sh1ttest for her, If she's really into you, she'll make ways to make it work again for both of you. You're just starting to have fun...make the most of it Cheers!

 

[LondonTowers]

We had a pretty fun relationship for a few years and we got on like best friends. I think we both hadn't found our place in life and that just pulled things apart. She has always been pretty level headed but had a low self esteem, but she seems in a better place right now.

I am concerned that she is flirting with me and other guys while still in a relationship, but I guess it is her trying to look for options to move on. But yes, it would be game over if she cheated on her current bf.

So right now should I just keep up the fun texts, meet her occasionally and just keep things light and fun while DHV or should I retreat and just wait for her to finish with her bf before I bother doing much. Right now I guess I would have to just stay in some friendzone area as it could push her away of I try too much.

Also if she brings up her boss again, how should I react? I am currently dating girls and when I have mentioned this to her, she seems to just go quiet and not say anything. Do you think I should turn the tables and ask her for advise on girls that like me or would that backfire?

 

[VikingKing]

I have a solution to your problem. 100% permanent no contact.

Think about it, she's already banged another dude.

 

[Sofomore]

^^ stop jumping to conclusions. You have no idea if she has.

To OP: think about why you guys broke up in the first place. Are you two actually compatible? Whatever reason you broke up the first time will probably be why you break up again.

Is she really worth going back to? Think long and hard about this before you proceed.

 

[LondonTowers]

Yeah, she has been in another relationship for 8 months so of course she is banging him, nothing wrong with that, I've been banging other girls in the mean time too.

I think right now, I should just back off and just give her tidbits of my life when she contacts me. **** it, if she stays with this dude or gets with her boss.. I am not gonna chase around for her.

If she suddenly becomes single and thinks about me, she will be back chasing me and I can take it from there.

I do have my doubts about her regardless. She had a low self esteem, but suddenly is all happy because she is getting a load of attention. She has NO female friends and has stated she doesn't get on with girls. She openly has dissed her bf to me and I'm her ex.. not cool for him, shows lack of respect.

****, as I'm writing this I realize I thought she was a cool respectful girl but is actually just an attention *****! She is probably just loving me paying her attention like all the other beta orbiters. Might just tell her to go **** her boss and go permanent No Contact!

 

[expos]

This girl is not good and will give you a lot of trouble. 8 months is a substantial amount of time...they've probably met each others parents, taken trips together, etc. The fact that she's entertaining offers while not being completely rid of her current boyfriend says a lot about her. She's a user, selfish and only cares about herself. If she truly loved you, she wouldn't have jumped into an 8 month relationship with another dude. Now that she's run that relationship into the ground, shes looking at seeing what she can get out of you.

You can do two things.

1. Never contact her again and find a better woman to spend time with.
2. IF she dumps her boyfriend, hook up with her and bang her only. Wear a rubber. Don't get into a relationship with her and continue to look for better chicks. You damn well know she'll drop you if she finds someone "better" so you better beat her to the punch.

 

[VladPatton]

So we've been broken up a year, due to me being unavailable at the time due to stress of being jobless.. the breakup was mutual and I have done low contact and no contact and she's been in a relationship with another guy for about 8 months.


--Based on this statement, nothing should be pursued between you and your ex. Everything should end right here. That's it and that's all.

 

[asa_don]

So we've been broken up a year, due to me being unavailable at the time due to stress of being jobless.. the breakup was mutual and I have done low contact and no contact and she's been in a relationship with another guy for about 8 months. Recently we started talking again and she seems really excited to chat. We met up last week and had a bunch to drink. She basically told me things aren't going great with her boyfriend and was impressed with my new job. We had light Kino and tiggled each other and her body language was generally good.. but I didn't push much and showed fair amount of indifference.

You see here is the problem, she started talking about all these guys at work that like her and then asked me if she thought her boss liked her with some of his flirty language. I played it like I didn't care and was like "yeah probably, why don't you go out with him" and she was like, "oh he's my boss and we have an age difference", but then was like talking about how ambitious he was and is a nice guy.

So basically I'm not sure if I should just **** this off or try one last pursuit as I wouldn't mind getting her back. I think her current relationship is coming to an end and she is now auditioning for her next. I think a part of her is still attracted to me and she can see I am different emotionally and financially. The other guys at her work are just beta orbiters, but her boss is now my main competition. How should I play this, I think her boss is gonna try and play her as he is already in a LTR and wants a bit of office *****.. but he has an advantage of seeing her everyday and being her boss.

She is sending me very friendly text messages with loads of smiley faces which she doesn't usually do and we currently have a good energy flow between us, but I don't want to get stuck in friendzone as she transitions between current bf and her boss. I need to step in and make her want me and find a way of destroying her want for her boss without looking jealous. Help!

it's been over for almost a year, let it go, don't dig up the past.