"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Need help with Abs

Cleric

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I'm facing a kind of a dilemma here.

I'm about 182Cms and 70Ks (156lbs.)
I've got skinny arms(although muscle has started to build with workouts) but a big stomach. I know spot reducing is about as effective as spitting in the wind so my solution would be to reduce whole body fat. But apart from my stomach I don't really have much body fat. I'm afraid if I start losing body fat I'd become too skinny.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Alpine

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Whilst the bulk or slim not both concept is true. The term bulk implies a diet of calories >500 above maintenance, and I think for you that would just make you fatter.

As always the answer is to be a bit patient and come up with a plan for the next 3-6 months.

I'd weight train just twice a week with compound exercises, and focus on more aerobic work, say 4-5 times a week for 30-40mins. You may need to build up to this. Make sure it's an activity/ies you can enjoy.

Eat loads of water based veg and protein.

Most importantly when you switch to MUSCLE gaining you have to add the cals slowly, and maybe focus on additional protein.

The best initial exercise to build your arms will be weighted chins (palms facing you) and close grip benches. Make sure you also squat or deadlift.

Get some calipers and monitor your skin folds. A little fat is going to come with the gains, but if you are on top of it you can cut a few cals straight away.

Make sure you avoid high GI foods or combine with other foods in meals.

Also, alot of people have bloated bellies, not fat bellies. Being aware of this will help you identify foods that bloat you. (Usually dairy, wheat products). Try probiotics and get lots of fibre foods and the belly may well go down an inch or two just from this.

Good luck.
 

Omega

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Clean bulking is your **** buddy.
 

Jariel

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Let me run this by some of the experts...

Is it possible to reduce body fat whilst gaining muscle if you load your body with protein and workout and still maintain a calorie deficit?

In other words, are calories necessary for building muscle?

Right now, this is what I'm trying to do. I figure at the very least I'll be able to maintain muscle while reducing fat, right?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJBen

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Only if you're relatively new to bodybuilding. And the excess protein makes no odds, cause your body just starts to break it down for energy.

That luxary ran out for me when I got to about 5 month in. Then I had to cut very slightly and bulk up again.

It's much better to go on a heavy bulk and then a nice cutting phase.

I dont care much for clean bulks. I love to eat - check out lee priest in the off season... it still doesnt take too much time to cut, if you do it right. Why not enjoy and cheat a little while bulking? ;)

Generally speaking, you need excess calories. Gaining a small amount of fat isnt a problem, most people probably wouldnt notice. If you start to get a bit chubby, throw in a day of cardio or two - not around leg day though.
 

gav

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bulk then cut

build up the size of your abs during the bulk so that they'll appear pretty nicely after cutting
 

Alpine

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If you are worried about your gut now, heavy bulking is not for you.

Also, following the 'advice' or routines of top bodybuilders is not a good idea unless you are very well informed/coached on stack cycling and can get regular blood work, if you catch my drift.

If you are a fat hardgainer, your best bet is hardgainer.com

The heavy bulking stuff here works for skinny 17yr old who look better with a bit of fat on them as well as muscle.
 

Duke Togo

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i would suggest cutting till you see your whole abdominal region when flexed, that is a good measure to go by if you dont compete.

then do a clean bulk, 300 calories above maintenance, clean clean clean.

when you surpass 13% bodyfat, cut again to see abs when flexed, then re clean bulk.

being ripped is only good when you have substantial mass.
being fat is never good at any time :).

follow my rule for efficiency, forget meantime aesthetics, have the whole picture in mind.
 

Jariel

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What is "clean bulking" exactly?

At the moment I'm in despair. I have a lean physique and I can see my upper abs, but I still have love handles. I assume I'll need to keep cutting until they disappear, but won't they return as soon as I start bulking again?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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madgame

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But apart from my stomach I don't really have much body fat. I'm afraid if I start losing body fat I'd become too skinny.
You're not an exception. You wouldnt believe how many people say that about themselves. Nobody will really be able to tell whether you got a bit of a flabby stomach by looking at your arms and chest (as long as its not TOO flabby). Men first gain fat around their waste area. Your chest will only look flabby if your abs are like faaaar from a sixpack.

As to the second sentence: If you cut the right way (not eating too little / and especially eating enough protein) your muscles will stay. Youll hardly lose any of them..besides youll hardly lose fat on your arms..youll first lose it in the places where u first gain it (waistline)
 
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