"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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need help with a situation

fullpint

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OK guys, I just started the bootcamp. I'm about 2 weeks into it and its been pretty easy so far. I'm in sales and make "cold calls" all day long so its not difficult approaching strangers and making eye contact when there is no agenda involved (ie trying to score with a chick)

Well, I recently moved into an apartment community that has a bar in it. My roommate and I and some other friends have gone to this bar quiet a few times since we've moved in. There is a waitress there and we know each other by name now. I am kindof starting to develop a thing for her, but I'm kindof apprehensive about asking her out.

First of all, I go there all the time and I fear an awkward situation resulting if she turns me down. I feel like I almost wouldn't even want to go there anymore.

Second, I used to bartend in college. The waitresses would always talk about the losers that asked them out. Very rarely did the girls actually go out with them unless they were serious regulars who ended up becoming friends of friends . You know how stuff works in college towns.

I've already developed a pretty good rapport with her, I have no idea if she has a boyfriend or not, or really anything else about her.

Any advice on how to approach this situation?
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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nw1512

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Ask her if she is single

That will sort out if she has a bf of not.

And you will know if she's keen or not by the subtle clues she gives you.

(if you dont know if she giving of any then you need to work on it)

Sound like you also need to work on your confidence a bit.
If she rejects you thats her problem not yours, she's the one thats going to feel arkward from then on not you cause you will act indifferent to the situation.

Your attracted to her, it not a big deal, it's natural, dont be scared of your testosterone.

get what I mean
 

fullpint

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hmmm, conflicting advice here. I think the general answer is...whatever I do, do it with confidence.

any more specific advice though?
 

nw1512

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I didnt say for him to ask if she had a boyfriend

I told him to ask if she is single.

BIG difference old mate
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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nw1512

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Ok

Try both and see what reponses you get.

I'm sure you will discover a huge difference as there not quite sure how to answer the later even if they do have a bf.

Women get DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND all the fcuking time.

ARE YOU SINGLE bypasses everything they have heard before

If you still cannot see the difference I think you need to have a think about it for a couple of days.
 

belividere

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I wish I lived in a complex with a bar, although I think my liver would disagree. How busy is this bar? Many other single woman come in?

If you have the chance go and start flirting with her a bit to determine her interest. the thing about waitresses that you have to remember is that their livelihood depends on getting tips from drunk dudes who wish they could take them home. You have to show enough interest to pique their curiousty but not be put into the typical customer catergory. Hit on other girls at the bar and use her as a side project not your main goal.
 
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Here is what you do.... you tell her that you are having a home warming party in the complex and that you would like to invite her - listen to what and how she gives the answer.

If she says "who is going to be there?" say, "Just me and you" and then smile!
 

LongDrinkofWater

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Single vs boyfriend?

Don't ask. Like Super G said, assume she's single.
Say she has a BF...for all you know the relationship might be on the frittz. Asking that question just sets you back, and she may not want to answer. If the BF is important to her, she'll let you know.
 
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