"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Need help with a situation: How do I make the jump to b/f?

Carbert

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Ok here is the situation: I met this girl a week ago, and she seemed really friendly and interested in me, so we agreed to go to a few public events together, and we had a great time. We found out we have alot in common, and we make each other laugh.

The thing is, neither of us have been in a relationship before. We have several more "dates" we want to plan, but the thing is, I don't know if she is looking for friendship or a realtionship.

How do I ask her to be my g/f and not come off sounding lame? How should I pursue this without falling into the friend zone?

She is the one who approached me, and she has been the wanting to call me up, etc. How do I make the jump?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

speedo_meme

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You don't. Not yet anyway....come back and post after about two months....
 

Freeman

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Originally posted by Carbert
Ok here is the situation: I met this girl a week ago, and she seemed really friendly and interested in me, so we agreed to go to a few public events together, and we had a great time. We found out we have alot in common, and we make each other laugh.

The thing is, neither of us have been in a relationship before. We have several more "dates" we want to plan, but the thing is, I don't know if she is looking for friendship or a realtionship.

How do I ask her to be my g/f and not come off sounding lame? How should I pursue this without falling into the friend zone?

She is the one who approached me, and she has been the wanting to call me up, etc. How do I make the jump?
See with this type of situation I suggest that you progress slowly-the relationship will take the direction its supposed to...enjoy your time with her-dont try to lock her down yet-better yet, dont lock yourself down yet...You have a good thing man from how it sounds...Dont fu*k it up by rushing her-you might lose everything..
 

Qmanchoo

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How do I ask her to be my g/f and not come off sounding lame? How should I pursue this without falling into the friend zone?
Exactly how you are now, things seem to be going great. Just dont become a lap dog, maintain your own opinions, and retain your backbone. In other words don't get all weak in the knees for her, she still wants a man not a pussified boy to do her bidding.

If you want to enter the friend zone ask her to be your GF before she's developed enough feelings for you.

You dont want to get cacapulted into the friend zone ask her to be yoru GF after she's developed strong feelings for you. She'll say yes.

How do you tell? Well, it's not always easy...but her feelings towards you and her connection to you dictate your "status" as either someone she's dating or a BF NOT and I repeat NOT whether or not you ask her to be your GF. In fact asking a girl to be your GF does nothing positive for you at all, it only puts pressure on her to decide in the moment you ask (thus showing why asking can have the two results above) you see? It's stupdi media programming that makes you think you need to ask...not reality.

Let her bring it up when she feels like she has to, otherwise just keep letting things flow and enjoy yourself man. Just relax she's not going anywhere because she likes you...
 

Carbert

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So should I take her out for dinner, and things like that or is that going too far for now?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Freeman

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Originally posted by Carbert
So should I take her out for dinner, and things like that or is that going too far for now?
Sure why not? If thats you're thing then do it...
 

Qmanchoo

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Think of it this way Carbert. The girl isn't talking to you because she might be able to get a few dinner dates out of you.

It doesn't matter what you're doing as long as she likes you she'll go where you lead her. If you go on a date, the date isn't about the food, or the place, or the setting (that can help)... it's about the two of you laughing, having a good time, and getting to know one another... while still being an attractive confident man that's leading the show and guiding her along.

A date doesn't have to be traditional...

Go to an amusement park, bungee jumping, coffee shop, have a motorcycle? take her for a ride, dinner at your place, dinner at hers, go play pool, go for a walk in a city (or to into one on an adventure with a few things planned to see)

Options are endless, like freeman said..."if it's your thing, do it" because no matter how pretty or cool she is...if you're not into the same things doing things together will be difficult. Unless she's extremely open minded...
 

Freeman

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Originally posted by Qmanchoo
Think of it this way Carbert. The girl isn't talking to you because she might be able to get a few dinner dates out of you.

It doesn't matter what you're doing as long as she likes you she'll go where you lead her. If you go on a date, the date isn't about the food, or the place, or the setting (that can help)... it's about the two of you laughing, having a good time, and getting to know one another... while still being an attractive confident man that's leading the show and guiding her along.

A date doesn't have to be traditional...

Go to an amusement park, bungee jumping, coffee shop, have a motorcycle? take her for a ride, dinner at your place, dinner at hers, go play pool, go for a walk in a city (or to into one on an adventure with a few things planned to see)

Options are endless, like freeman said..."if it's your thing, do it" because no matter how pretty or cool she is...if you're not into the same things doing things together will be difficult. Unless she's extremely open minded...

He makes a great point here-if she truly digs ya she will go just about anywhere you suggest-or offer an alternative...
 
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