Need help with 4 year LTR

[heatofthemoment]

-I've been in this relationship for 4 years.
-Things have steadily got worse, and I've lost myself as the prize.
-I am slowly losing respect for myself because I've become accustomed to chasing and lowering my standards in the last few months.
-I respond to her manipulations well even though I know what is going on.
-I know I should be doing something about this, so this is why i am here.
-What should I do to gain control of myself, destroy all neediness and be the Don Juan I was meant to be?

 

[Real Talk]

If she's really manipulating you, and you aren't a main priority in her life after four years, then dump her. even if it hurts. There is a comfort factor there but from my even-keeled third party perspective that is the way to go.

If its more about you losing that "edge", just get something else going in your life, something that allows you're happiness to be entirely dependent on your relationship with this broad.

It's not as much about power, which I think this board stresses too much sometimes. it's seriously all about your happiness bro. That's not to say that power doesn't come with happiness, which It could and often does, but the main thing you should be thinking about is how HAPPY you are. If you aren't happy right now something has to change big time. What changes is up to you.

 

[The Piano Master]

Sounds pretty simple to me. You need to cut ties sooner rather than later. This has little to do with reverting back to the "Don Juan you were meant to be" and just having to do with what makes you happy. Sounds like you're getting stale.

 

[Mr.H]

I made this mistake and stayed with a woman for 13 years. I mistook comfort for happiness. We lived together and when we separated it caused problems and I came out of it worse as I lost my home. But I believe I did the best thing and I can concentrate on just me again. It's been a long time where all I have had to worry about is me, and it feels great.