Need help, will give details

[redmenace]

I'm 35 years old and made a rookie error. Need advice on how to recover. Went out with a 35 year old professional woman two weeks. Had a great time, good chemistry, discovered mutual interests and values and talked for hours at the end of the evening and wrapped the night with a tasteful kissing session at the door. Called the next day to say I had a great time and hope to see her again.

This is where I made the mistake. Didn't hear from her that day so I called again the next day and only got an email back. called her again the next day with no response. Called her a 5-6 times that weekend and never heard back.

This weekend went by and she flaked on plans we had last night a few minutes before we were supposed to meet at my place.

She sent me an email today saying that there was no spark and she wanted to be honest with me but would like to stay friends because I am "an awesome guy" (That hurt, it screamed "I don't see you in a sexual way")

Essentially I feel 90% sure I squashed her interest by coming across as needy or desperate. We have plans for this Saturday to go see a broadway show and we decided to keep them.

I want to try and salvage her interest, what advice would you give for doing so. IE, break the date, don't call until the day of, keep the evening supper casual. Be brutal and give me details.

Thanks.

 

[redmenace]

!

 

[akatuva]

RedMenace,

This one is probably a write-off. If you want any chance at romance with this woman, you've got to re-assert your dominant position. I would highly suggest that you call her, break this "get together" (it's not a date because she just LJBF'd you) and say, "I'd love to hang out, but I've got a dinner date I just set up".

One of two things will happen, She'll be happy for you because you're "really" a friend and she wants to see you score with a chick who likes you. (0.0001% chance)

She'll get pissed that you played her and are trying to get the upperhand back, will try to set up a "date" with you again, will flirt with you like crazy, completely stroke you into utter horniness and then LJBF you again at the end of the date so that she knows she "won" the game. (80% chance).

She'll think she jumped the gun on thinking you were a Wuss and if you continue to play it cool, and her initial interest level was very high (and you got the kiss so it might have been) she will start to gravitate back towards you. The only way that will work is if you cancel and wait for her to call you, and if she doesn't, then let it go, because you've got other babes that you're going to go after. If she does call you, you've got to play it as if you're doing her a favor by going out with her. (20% chance)

 

[Luveno]

Hello redmenace,

cut off ALL contact. Erase her number from your phone, and her contact info from your instant messenger.

Do not call her, do not talk to her on the street, do not go out of your way for her. She does not serve any purpose in your life, so get rid of her.


I've always seen the DJ game as the stock market. Most people lose their shirts in the market because they can't cut their losses and invest in something that isn't a lost cause. Same goes for the dating world.

You seem like you are crushed that this woman did not want you. Whatever, shes a flake. Cut her off, and invest in someone else.

 

[redmenace]

Thanks guys, guess I have to treat this like getting a ****ty hand in poker. Either fold or bluff my way back into a power position. Either way, I am kicking myself for letting this one slip away. If you chase a dog, it'll run. Why would women be any different.