"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need Help to reverse a neediness Mistake!

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Cb2013

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Oh so I broke up with my girlfriend then realized I had made a huge mistake and I love her.
So of course I became needy and text bombed the crap out of her begging and pleading which pushed her farther away.
At this point she will answer my text if I beg of course...
But says Please move on...
I know I need to do a no contact for a period of time but I need to leave a last text
letting her know I am NOT needy and moving on...
How long do I do a NC and does anyone have a good text that leaves them wanting you?
any suggestions are appreciated...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Maximus Rex

Maximus Rex

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No You Don't

Cb2013 said:
Oh so I broke up with my girlfriend then realized I had made a huge mistake and I love her.
Click to expand...
If that were true, then you won't have let your emotions get the better of you. Let me tell you something about So Suave and it's intended purpose. The purpose of this site is to give counsel to guys who haven't had the best of luck with women and dudes already have some level of proficiency and they wish to become that much greater. We're looking to to become confident, unapologetic men who are the living embodiment of masculinity.

You sir, need to look within yourself and find out why at the drop of hat you feel the need to break up with your girlfriend, or why you're dealing with chicks that are causing you to be so emotional. Guys advising you on ways to help you get your girl isn't going to help you address the underlying issue, but asking dudes what made you have such an impulsive response that you now regret and what you can do to prevent it just might.
 
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Cb2013

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Thanks for the insight but it wasnt at the drop of a hat it had been coming for awhile.
I guess I should be asking Why we go from being strong and confident to Needy.
How is it we lose our control and Mojo?
 
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Arthy

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You plan on sending her a message which will show her that you are not needy and desperate? That aint going to happen buddy. Only way you can do that is, by your actions, not words. By sending a message, you are giving her attentions which is a bad thing and wont get you anywhere. So heres an advice for you. Go ghost. Dissapear. Do not contact her nor answer her messages, make her wonder and in a meantime work on yourself.
 
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narcissist

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Ahh, looks like you've gotten yourself into a sticky situation.

But realistically, the moves that you have to make are not all that hard.

The reason why i say this is a sticky situation is because of one thing and one thing only

YOU ARE NOW IN A BATTLE BETWEEN RATIONALISM AND EGOTISM.

This, my friend is an uphill battle, but a hard one at that, and if you haven't let your EGO win before, then remaining NO CONTACT will be devastatingly hard.

This is because YOUR EGO likes to TRICK YOUR MIND into thinking its BEING RATIONAL.. THATS THE EGO'S TACTIC.

If you are unaware of this, then YOU WILL END UP CONTACTING HER, even if you KNOW that no contact and MOVING ON is the BEST THING FOR YOU.

At this point your ex has NOTHING to do with the feelings your feeling. It's solely based on the battle between your HURT EGO and your UNDERMINED RATIONALISM

your ego is going to make you want to GET CLOSURE - which i might add never happens. and your EGO is going to make you do STUPID SH*T in attempt to stroke and feed itself. - WHICH i might add will never happen with an ex, you ego will only end up being HURT.

SO if you let you EGO WIN against your RATIONALISM THEN YOU SUFFER A PHYRIC VICTORY - this is when you give in and text her and call her and try to get closure so you look less needy, and you try and show her that your not hurt, BUT deep down your only hurting yourself, and when she shows you she doesnt GIVE A SH*T your ego will only be MORE hurt - and this will cause your ego to TRY HARDER - its perpetual.

RATIONALISM WINS AGAINST EGO then you undergo the greatest of victories. THIS ONE IS ALOT HARDER TO PURSUE, because your EGO IS A STRONG COMPONENT IN THIS CHESS MATCH. how to let rationalism win?

1. grab your balls and go no contact FOREVER - and for YOU not for her
2. delete her number, change your number, delete ALL her social media and put up blockers that dont allow you to go on her social medias.
3. work out
4. go out
5. spin plates
6. WHEN YOUR EGO MAKES A DEVASTATING BLOW, WHICH IT WILL:
a. you need to calm down and go for a walk
b. turn of all sources of internet, electronics, and just meditate.
c. and do not contact her

dude its an uphill battle but theres PLENTY of better women at the top of the hill.

why stay in a dirty a** ditch when you can do a little climbing and see the whole world from the top of the hill?

oh, and its over between you and your ex, the faster you realize that the better.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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oh, i might add.. THE REASON WHY ITS RATIONAL to do those things is because your focusing on YOURSELF, not on other women or your EX.. all you have in this life IS YOURSELF

you think your have a girlfriend, or an ex that you can get back but you dont.

you have you and only you. so to be rational, is to REALIZE THIS TENANT TO LIFE: HAVING A GIRLFRIEND IS AN ILLUSION THAT YOUR MIND PLAYS ON YOU TO THINK YOUR NOT ALONE BUT YOU ARE!

repeat that to yourself over and over and over. you only have yourself. so work on yourself. dont worry about an ex. ITS OVER. be happy that its over and truly own up to that!

be rational my friend. dont let her take over your life.

And i might add one more thing. Which might be hard for you to fully comprehend right now in all of its essence. but i say it anyways.

everything you do during this break up MUST be for yourself, and not for her, or to get her back, or to get a reaction out of her. it MUST be for you or else you do the opposite of what you intended, and will end up being more hurt when she doesnt notice you. OR the other way around she notices you and gets back with you, NOW your back with an EX.. WHICH IS TERRIBLE. either way if the things you do for the break up are for her, its a lose lose. to WIN RATIONALISM VS EGOTISM you must do all things during the break up for YOU
 
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Cb2013

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WOW thats the most enlightening thing I have heard! Thanks!
 
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Albatross953

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Espi/narcissist are right on the money. Especially about being alone.
Trust them, there's no going back. Only forward.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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