Need help on getting a friend with benefits

[irocknike23]

To all you fellas who have one or had one, please help out.

I got 2 girls currently that I am trying to turn into fvck buddies.

I got both of their numbers already(got them from being in the same group project activity type deal, so since I did not pull their number in a way that shows im interested, there is no deadline to start texting them)

So far I have not texted either of them for anything outside of schoolwork.

The reason I have not started is because I really do not know how to approach this. When you tell a girl that you find her attractive, and you want to hang out, it sounds like you want a relationship with her(right?)

However I do not have time for a relationship.
I do not even have time for myself. I have daily football practice, tons and tons of HW. My pitbull just had pups so I have to take care of them for now(how I make side cash) and my other female pitbull is going to have puppies in 2 months So once this litter is out, I got a new one to take care of.

i also volunteer in some programs for future job purposes, basically my schedule is full. i really dont have time for a GF because sadly there is only 24 hours in a day

Anyways, back to the topic: When I start texting these girls it will sound like I want a relationship with them because I will be flirting with them and stuff...at what point do I stop that and get to the point(if at all)

or how do I even go about this.

So far I got 2 girls, from different classes and got both of their numbers, and their both single. any help is appreciated(do I ask them to hang out, go on an actual date?)

 

[irocknike23]

anyone?

 

[Iceberg]

The reason I have not started is because I really do not know how to approach this. When you tell a girl that you find her attractive, and you want to hang out, it sounds like you want a relationship with her(right?)

Depends on how you do it, I guess. I don't seem to have that problem.

It's not like you have to SAY, "I think you're pretty. We should go on a date."

You can simply say "What are you up to tonight? Let's get some beers." and ACT attracted to her. This way, you're not a guy asking her on a date, trying to be a boyfriend...You're a guy who likes beer and women.

Remember, you dont have to ask these women on "dates".

 

[bigneil]

I always thought FB's were a by-product of failed relationships.

Nobody tries to find a FB.

It can be hard to categorize formal terms in a linear fashion but here goes:

Wife
Fiance
Mistress (you are committed to someone else)
Partner (strong commitment)
Girlfriend (loose commitment)
Lady or gf (terms I use for non-committed romantic interest)
Date (implies romantic interest but not sex)
Friend (no romantic interest)
Ex (no romantic interest but sex happened)
FB (sex but no romantic interest)

 

[loveshogun]

Remember, you dont have to ask these women on "dates".

Truth.

I never call them dates, for one. That word has become too loaded. It's a word used by the kind of guys who have high expectations and get clingy. And it's not like you have to use the word "date" to describe what you wanna do (anal) with a girl that you're asking out.

Whatever happened to the days when it's just two people hangin' out and enjoying each other's company?

My rule is that it's not a "date" unless she's actually your "girlfriend." And don't get me started on THAT word.

This means that, in the book of Shogun, first dates don't really exist. And they DEFINITELY aren't dates if you haven't had sex yet.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I got both of their numbers already(got them from being in the same group project activity type deal, so since I did not pull their number in a way that shows im interested, there is no deadline to start texting them)

Why are you even worried about texting them and deadlines. You have an opportunity in class every time you see them to create & escalate attraction. You do this right and they will be texting you.

When you tell a girl that you find her attractive, and you want to hang out, it sounds like you want a relationship with her(right?)

Why would you tell them that in the first place??! You SHOW girls, you don't tell them. When a guy is upset that his gf isn't phuckin' him enough, does he tell her "you need to phuck me more" and expect her to suddenly be like "oh yah now I'm horny for you?" NO! You show them that you are a man that has value, a man that other women are attracted to and most importantly someone who is FUN to be around.

However I do not have time for a relationship.
I do not even have time for myself. I have daily football practice, tons and tons of HW. My pitbull just had pups so I have to take care of them for now(how I make side cash) and my other female pitbull is going to have puppies in 2 months So once this litter is out, I got a new one to take care of.

Notice how you have created an assumed scenario in your head (if I tell her she's attractive and I want to hang out it must mean I want a relationship) and are now running with all the reasons why it doesn't align with you life? This is called overanalyzing.

Anyways, back to the topic: When I start texting these girls it will sound like I want a relationship with them because I will be flirting with them and stuff...at what point do I stop that and get to the point(if at all)

See above about assumed, imagined scenarios.

So far I got 2 girls, from different classes and got both of their numbers, and their both single. any help is appreciated(do I ask them to hang out, go on an actual date?)

The one and only thing you should be concerned with is establishing attraction. Right now it doesn't sound like there is any; tease them, flirt with them and see how the react. I feel like using sales analogy so here it goes:

In sales you don't get new clients and make sales by selling all the features:

"I'm really nice and fun to be around"
"I'm honest and trustworthy and I will never cheat on you."

blah blah blah blah blah


You make the sales by asking questions about the client, figuring out their needs and then showing how your product (YOU) fulfills those needs. Notice I said show, not tell.


You have an opportunity for a "hang out" every time you see them in class; don't let that opportunity pass you by.






PIMP

 

[nightcrawler]

give both girls the illusion that you're bf material. When they ask for a relationship say you're not ready for that

 

[YAboi]

Get into a relationship and don't act like a boyfriend when in it. I.e don't act as if u value ur gf or try to bend ur schedule 4 ur girl. Try It out.

 

[irocknike23]

Why are you even worried about texting them and deadlines. You have an opportunity in class every time you see them to create & escalate attraction. You do this right and they will be texting you.



Why would you tell them that in the first place??! You SHOW girls, you don't tell them. When a guy is upset that his gf isn't phuckin' him enough, does he tell her "you need to phuck me more" and expect her to suddenly be like "oh yah now I'm horny for you?" NO! You show them that you are a man that has value, a man that other women are attracted to and most importantly someone who is FUN to be around.



Notice how you have created an assumed scenario in your head (if I tell her she's attractive and I want to hang out it must mean I want a relationship) and are now running with all the reasons why it doesn't align with you life? This is called overanalyzing.



See above about assumed, imagined scenarios.





The one and only thing you should be concerned with is establishing attraction. Right now it doesn't sound like there is any; tease them, flirt with them and see how the react. I feel like using sales analogy so here it goes:

In sales you don't get new clients and make sales by selling all the features:

"I'm really nice and fun to be around"
"I'm honest and trustworthy and I will never cheat on you."

blah blah blah blah blah


You make the sales by asking questions about the client, figuring out their needs and then showing how your product (YOU) fulfills those needs. Notice I said show, not tell.


You have an opportunity for a "hang out" every time you see them in class; don't let that opportunity pass you by.
PIMP

TO be honest I think the attraction is there for both of them.

both girls ironically are the same.

for starters, they got my number first. second of all it was just super unnecessary to get my number because the project had no outside school stuff involved(for both classes), everything done on the project was done in the classroom.

they both hit me up the same day to get the text "hey this is ________" so I could get their number down and save it.

I think they want me to hit them up first because that's what girls expect right...for the guy to make the move


ironically like I said both girls went into the exact scenario I just described above

 

[bullethead]

Here is how I got my ex **** buddy. I texted her come eat with me. She came, and I said lets be friends with benefits. That easy, no tricks, it always works best to be direct.

*word of warning, while it is an interesting experience, **** buddies are not as awesome as thought to be. There were many times I was ****ing this girl but felt guilty while I was doing it because I knew she liked me. Girls wants relationships. fb always ends the worst ways.

 

[irocknike23]

Here is how I got my ex **** buddy. I texted her come eat with me. She came, and I said lets be friends with benefits. That easy, no tricks, it always works best to be direct.

*word of warning, while it is an interesting experience, **** buddies are not as awesome as thought to be. There were many times I was ****ing this girl but felt guilty while I was doing it because I knew she liked me. Girls wants relationships. fb always ends the worst ways.

thanks dude, since I got 2 girls, I will try this method with the first one

oh and the feelings thing dont worry about it..im very cold hearted. if she begins liking me I could honestly care less

 

[Single4Life]

haha, you dudes are cold.

If you really want to do this, be straight up and HONEST. You might be surprised at the results. Don't lie ;/

 

[J Roc]

There are many women that dont want relationships at this point in their lives. They just want a fun guy to chill with from time to time and have no strings attached sex with. I let women know from the jump I'm just looking for a good time and dont want a relationship. Like Single4Life said, you'll be surprised at the results once you let women know what you want.