Need help, I'm needy through texts but not in person

[SeeThruIt]

You've just taken your first step into a larger world.

Ha it's true. That little tidbit helped my mentality a lot.

It's funny how seeking advice from the right people helps. My friends have been going at it all wrong and their suggestions were to be funny/send cutesie pics. Makes me wonder how they even landed girlfriends/wives.

 

[SeeThruIt]

Update:

She contacted me this morning saying a later show would be best. So we agreed on a 9:35 showing. She said I could go by her place around 8.

Now only thing I'm dreading is the rampage of arrogant teenagers who'll most likely be there as it's playing at a local mall.

I've encountered confrontations when I was just with my guy friends, I can imagine how it'll be being with a girl.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She contacted me this morning saying a later show would be best. So we agreed on a 9:35 showing. She said I could go by her place around 8.

Why are you speaking as if she's "allowing" you to see her when it's convenient for her?

---

You: Hey, I'm gonna check out that movie on tuesday at 8, you can come if you want.

Her: Oh no, I'm busy, can we go Friday?

You: Well, Friday, I'm gonna be at XYZ bar, you can come by if you want, and I'll tell you how the movie was...

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Update:

She contacted me this morning saying a later show would be best. So we agreed on a 9:35 showing. She said I could go by her place around 8.

Now only thing I'm dreading is the rampage of arrogant teenagers who'll most likely be there as it's playing at a local mall.

I've encountered confrontations when I was just with my guy friends, I can imagine how it'll be being with a girl.

I'm guessing you're a young one. Only advice I can give here is to, whatever happens, keep your composure and not show weakness.

CONFIDENCE man....CONFIDENCE. That's all it takes.

 

[BeDJ]

I assume you have yet to bang this woman. Why are you taking her to the theater?

 

[SeeThruIt]

Ok, I'm getting that I need to be more assertive and not ask for permission.

Here's another example from a woman I was only sleeping with that I haven't seen in a few months because I wouldn't give in to a relationship so she called it quits.

Me: Are you home tonight?
Her: Yes, relaxing watching tv
Me: Ok, I'm coming over for 8
Her: You are? Make it 8:30 I need to shower first

I'm surprised to be honest, I used to ask and get turned down, or beat around the bush in hopes she suggests something etc

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Ok, I'm getting that I need to be more assertive and not ask for permission.

Here's another example from a woman I was only sleeping with that I haven't seen in a few months because I wouldn't give in to a relationship so she called it quits.

Me: Are you home tonight?
Her: Yes, relaxing watching tv
Me: Ok, I'm coming over for 8
Her: You are? Make it 8:30 I need to shower first

I'm surprised to be honest, I used to ask and get turned down, or beat around the bush in hopes she suggests something etc

Very nice, but notice something. ANY TIME a girl tries to "adjust" anything you've said, she's trying to control the frame.

It may FEEL like a victory to you, however, she feels as though, on some level, (even though it's not entirely logical) that she is controlling you, since you agreed to her modification. (I'm assuming)

It's a very slippery slope, and girls are hard wired to relentlessly pull men toward that slippery slope with every interaction.

The trick is to understand that she'll ALWAYS try and control the frame.

The best defense is a good offense. Always a very clear set of boundaries WITHIN YOURSELF before going into any interaction.

It's YOUR JOB to eject IMMEDIATELY if those boundaries are crossed.

It's NOT HER JOB to respect your boundaries. She is HARD WIRED to try and cross or otherwise alter your boundaries with as much female manipulation as she can muster.

It's YOUR JOB to set them, and defend them. ALWAYS.

The best way to defend them is to know them, and eject if they are crossed.

Let your actions do the talking.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Very nice, but notice something. ANY TIME a girl tries to "adjust" anything you've said, she's trying to control the frame.

It may FEEL like a victory to you, however, she feels as though, on some level, (even though it's not entirely logical) that she is controlling you, since you agreed to her modification. (I'm assuming)

It's a very slippery slope, and girls are hard wired to relentlessly pull men toward that slippery slope with every interaction.

The trick is to understand that she'll ALWAYS try and control the frame.

The best defense is a good offense. Always a very clear set of boundaries WITHIN YOURSELF before going into any interaction.

It's YOUR JOB to eject IMMEDIATELY if those boundaries are crossed.

It's NOT HER JOB to respect your boundaries. She is HARD WIRED to try and cross or otherwise alter your boundaries with as much female manipulation as she can muster.

It's YOUR JOB to set them, and defend them. ALWAYS.

The best way to defend them is to know them, and eject if they are crossed.

Let your actions do the talking.

Or, you could just show up late.

You said 8, she said 8:30, she needed to shower (for you), nothing wrong with that. Not that big of a deal IMO......but, she was still telling you what time to be there (controlling the situation).

Show up late, fvck it. "I got caught up in something."

To break it down: you had a half hour window of nothing planned, are you going to sit around twiddling your thumbs and waiting on her, with nothing to do?

This is kind of some deeper level stuff, but in the chick's psyche it doesn't go unnoticed.

 

[SeeThruIt]

Good input I'm more aware now that girls are trying to control the situation. Here's another text example:

Me: if you haven't seen (name of movie) I'm buring it to DVD today. I'll come by for 7:30 and we can watch it
Her: I can't today :-( Maybe tomorrow
Me: Maybe? Tomorrow? F*ck that. I'll let you know how good it was
Her: F*ck you. I just have a lot of stuff going on right now it's not that I don't want to watch it with you. Geez

I never replied back

 

[BeDJ]

SeeThruIt,

I glimpsed by the response you gave before editing the post. I don't know what is more important to you at the moment, improving you Game or what we internet strangers think of you.

Regardless, you still don't 'get it.' You do not see the difference between women that control the situation and those that do not have interest. What I can suggest is let the ego aside so you can see her level of attraction.

 

[trent_afc]

I noticed the pre-edit response as well. Either way, I'm not sure your response was the correct one...I'm thinking a response of "Cool, I'm busy tomorrow, maybe some other time" and then going ghost for a few days/week, waiting for her to contact you, would be a good gauge on her interest level.

 

[SeeThruIt]

I just got a text from her this morning "come by for 7:30 tonight. You're such a pain "