need help hitting on bartender

[jigga23]

Ok im in college right now so just livin the life. I was out at the bar tonight and saw this girl bartending that I have seen before. Two of my friends that I was out with know her. Shes the type i would date. My roomate who knows her was telling me there is no way you will get her and blah blah blah. She gets hit on all the time etc. she was just like my ex i guess by the way he was describing her flirty a little aw scandalous etc. but most of my exes fit that. The difference is shes a bartender so its different.
I went up to the bartender at the bar and ordered a drink she had a big smile guess normal and i ordered a beer. i was hanging out for like 5 minutes and decided to put another lime in my beer. i reached to get one and she playfully slapped my hand and had a smile on her face and i said dam ok ill pay for it jokingly. she was defiantley flirting a little bit.

All my life the unobtainable girls have hit on me first. Ive hit on girls before but i usually mess it up at some point. i think there is attraction between us but I just dont know how to go about hitting on a bartender which I have never done before. I was thinking about ordering a drink next time and writing a big fat zero as a tip but my roomate said that might get me kicked out haha. any ideas on how to approach her and get her on a date? with my exes all i did was act ****y ignore them in the beginning etc but this is a different situation cause they werent bartenders.

 

[NickBe]

It is difficult to get a bartender while they are working. It is best to talk to her when she is not at work or finishing work.

Is it a night club bar or just a bar and how busy is it?

 

[bfl]

yeah this is whay i always wanted to know too cause for some odd reason i find myself to ne attracted to only bartenders, lol they are the hottest one in the whole club

 

[jigga23]

its somewhat of a night club but its not packed to maximum capacity.

 

[NickBe]

Do not bother, wait for her to finish work and walk outside.

 

[lildevil]

this is my way

JUST TO REMEMBER THAT BARTENDERS ARE TIRED OF Getting hit on...by inexperienced

Bartender: hi (name) ill be your bartender for tonight....
U:Rock..on ....I hop ur not as bad as the last one
Bartender:whats her name...oh im sorry i hope i will better
U:I didn’t want to know her name, it was SO BAD about that, you seem high-maintenance. (any cold-read will do)
bartender: (weird face or giggling) What would you guys like to drink?
UIf under 21) Well, if you don’t card here, I’ll take a BUD… otherwise, surprise me. (big smile)

 

[bachelor]

I have some friends who flirt with bartenders who are successful. What I noticed them do is make good eye contact and use their body language well when ordering their drink. One time, my friend asked the bartender to make him a drink and added leave me your number with it too... She wrote down her number on a napkin for him.

 

[NickBe]

You are still better off waiting till after work, less distractions.

 

[bfl]

i gotta agree with nick on this one, waiting till after work would be better, although that if its a club you cant realy wait cause evreybody gets kicked out before the workers come out, and waiting outside is kinda stalkish/desperate.

 

[NickBe]

That it is, quite a dilemma. You can go for the kill at the bar but it will not be easy. She will have been hit on by every drunk guy she has served that night and a few of the sober ones too. If she was eying you it means she is interested why not just write your number down on a piece of paper with 'Call Me!' at the bottom an hand it to her.

generally speaking I never hand my number over but it is better than leaning over a wet, sticky bar and screaming in her ear 'HOW ARE YOU?'

 

[MDgood]

Sometimes the bartenders will flrit with the guys to get the larger tips.

 

[bfl]

im trying that this weekend.

Im a top knotch good looking guy so i know as soon as i step in the bar/club all eyes will be on me, ima write my number down on a piece of paper and while every other guy tries to scream at her ear...lol and see what happens.

Ima see

 

[NickBe]

Well let us know how it goes. Since you are good looking and dress well i am sure she will be very receptive.

 

[jigga23]

haha yea ive done that write my own number down thing the girl geniuely was flirting with me that one time i did it even my cousin said it. but she had a bf i guess. yea ill try it again but fvck kind of hard to have girl call you that youve never been formally introduced too. also if she doesnt call then every time i go in there i look like a stalker probably. well see.

 

[RAFCbearfilm]

Guys,
A. You do not hand out your number - may as well just throw it away. It is our privilege to ring up the lady cause we are the prize right? It may work if done right or with a really well-timed setup but seriously, it does not work.
B. You do NOT hit on wait staff, you flirt, they flirt, that is the name of the game. Their job is to make you feel welcome and served. They do get bigger tips when you are happy with them.
C. Do NOT wait for them to come out of the bar after a shift! That is about as creepy and needy as you can get.
D. If you insist that she is interested in you, and they do want to get laid if that is already not taken care of. Then tell her that you are going to another place that is open later then hers that night and you will look for her there. If she is interested she will show up. Or suggest another place OUTSIDE of her work to meet up.

Women bartenders that i knew never dated customers. They might screw them occasionally if they threw a pile of money at them or there was something REALLY special about them but ultimately how would they know that after one night you are not going to go all AFC and start dogging them chasing away their customers night after night.

 

[lildevil]

Thing wih bartenders

REmember that hundreds of Afcs go their every night....either their trying to get over their one-itis....their problems in life or totally away from their life...\

Bartenders theirs actually nice looking bartenders around....because thats the way the bar gets more attention....

Tip1ont buy the waitress or the bartender a drink...they could get it for free...so why waste ur money and still look like an AFC

... you’re probably the 1000 guy tonight to buy her a drink and the last thing she wants is another one. That is just a normal AFC attitude.

Bartenders are probably the girls in the bar or club that get hit on the most, so they have 10 times the experience of most women.

SInce bartenders have so much experience with guys ....they are always on the lookout for something new...


So what happens when some guy DOES ****Y AND FUNNY or NEGs her and tell some funny stuff ?

Yeah they get interested because they are so bored and there is a new guy making her laugh


You’re not the only customer she has.

So the two minutes you will be spending with her must be priceless. If you are in the middle of a DHV story, (btw DHV stories are very useful if you know how to use them) and she goes to serve another customer don’t wait for her to come back and finish your stories, leave, she’s not going anywhere.


I personally like to go back to the bar two to three times a night, more can seem needy. As you’re progression continues you will see how;
Your first conversation last two minutes or less,
The second five minutes as she ignores a customer or two
And your third conversation, which is done at closing, will last ten minutes as she completely ignores everyone but you.


It is closing so there are less people in the club neways. After those eight to twelve minutes you bail out getting her number. This causes her to be intrigued by you, which she will then want a real conversation with you where you can tell all those unfinished DHV stories..

 

[NickBe]

See my point is that it is very hard to lean over a bar in a crowded club with loud music and scream out some jokes or negs. He has to work with what he is give and in this situation it is not much. If it is at an actual bar that has pool tables and a bunch of drunk guys then sure he can talk to her but in a club it is hard. You need to scream and the interaction will go soemthign like this

Him = yap yap yap yap **** and funny yap yap neg

Her = what? I cant hear you

Him = yap yap yap yap **** and funny yap yap neg

Her = Ok ??? (probably didn't hear him but just said 'ok')

Her = ****y funny neg push pull ****y funny neg

Then some other guy wants a drink and she has to serve him so she walks away.

So working with what we are given we know the girl flirted with him so on some level she must find him desirable. We know that she probably remembers who he is since he done that lime thing.

His only real option is to catch her as she is leaving work and that does not mean waiting outside that means when she finishes you walk outside. and talk. Assuming he can't do that only thing he can do is leave his number. If he is a good looking guy she might just call him.

What I do know is that having a conversation to a bar tender in a club is near impossible. I have to scream the name of my drink 3 times before the bar staff hear me in most clubs.

 

[lildevil]

^^^^why would u wait that long....people who wait that long might creep her out...Game other women...see the bartender just as an option

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Find out who her friends are and befriend them.

Or, if you're lucky, she bartends at a place she also likes to visit on social occaisons.

 

[foxhound87]

First off good luck trying, but I have to say that the odds are against you. I have been a bartender for the last couple of years, I am now a bouncer. The ladies behind the bar are always telling me how every night creepy, weired guys hit on them. Then they always pretend that I am their boyfriend, haha it's funny when I walk up to them and say "Hey baby, How's your night?" and the other guys around get all nervous and anxious.

That's beside the point, women in North America only care about getting tips. They tell me that they deliberatly lead guys on, wear low cut tops etc to get bigger tips. I think it's BS!

My advice to you is to forget it and move on, bar managers hire hot women behind the bar because they attract guys with money, they do not hire them for their bar skills..

Hope this helped..