Need help getting started

[Night571]

I met this really amazing girl last weekend while I was out of town for work; she's a friend of a friend. We hung out a couple of times until 2am or so while I was there, then had to leave. Neither of us having ever been in a serious relationship nor did we discuss anything serious while there (we had just met).

How should I play it now that I am back? She is far, but I don't mind staying in touch and seeing what happens. I also don't know how she feels ... does he genuinely want to get to know me better or is she just a really nice person who wants to be friends? I realize we're not going to be dating until we see each other more (we just met last week). How do I gauge her feelings?

How should I proceed? She is on my mind all the time ... but I realize I need to play it cool and not lose focus on other parts of my life. I should probably just focus on talking on the phone and getting to know her better as a friend?

 

[HuuBinh]

first off, you need to stop thinking, and caring too much about how she feels and what not, you've just met the girl. don't expect so much this early, give her a call & set up a meeting, since she's far, you both can meet halfway. if she's interested in you, then she'll be happy to go out with you.

 

[Night571]

But how often do I call, e-mail, etc.? Right now, just get to know her as friends?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Do not pursue a woman you like as a 'friend'!!!! Be a man and pursue her romantically and only talk on the phone and not e-mail, and only for a short period of time (less than 15 minutes! Call her initially and try to gauge interest level and this should determine whether you should pursue further. Don't call her more than once every 10 days to 2 weeks - call more but only for the purpose of setting up an activity in person.

If she starts calling you then she has high interest and then call her once a week. Be lighthearted in your conversations and don't be overly eager in your affection through your words or desperate for her attention.

 

[Night571]

Hello -- the only issue is that she is far away from me (long distance thing) -- so if I talk on the phone for only a few minutes, I can't really set up a time to meet. Of course, every 2-3 months, I can see her because of business trips. So how does that change your advice?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Just inform her 2 weeks before you arrive that you would like to do an activity with her and set a date, time and place. I wouldn't talk to her much between time unless u r thinking of a ltr.

 

[Night571]

Hello -- but meanwhile -- just talk to her on the phone or by e-mail every week or so just to stay in touch?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You first have to gauge her interest level - this will determine whether you should call her and how frequent. If she asks you a lot of questions then her interest level is high. If you receivie a lot of silence on the other end, then cut the call short.

 

[Night571]

Hey,

I am going to see her again soon, happen to be out near her for something else. Just have a good time? Should I bring up anything serious relationship-related or just have a good time?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Whatever you do, go for the kiss - but don't be too anxious or aggressive doing so. Her reaction to your kiss will determine what future action you should take! You must do this or else you may be wasting your time with this girl and not know it until two months later.

 

[dcfball]

imo you should **** 5 other chicks then see whats up ^^

 

[sAxyguy83]

PRL's advice is sound - figure out how interested she is in you, and play it from there. If she isn't as interested in you as you obviously are in her, then it won't work - too much of a distance issue. If you guys are both actually interested in being together, then you should work out between the two of you how to make it work.

 

[Night571]

I am back. Had a great time with her over the weekend, did dinner, a show, and club. Didn't try to kiss her since she made it clear that she likes does not like guys who try to move too quickly (and I don't like to do that until I know a girl better too). But I'll probably try to the next time I see her, but very carefully?

But I certain she is interested and I made it clear I wanted to get to know her better. But we are back in the same situation ... on opposite coasts. Do I go for it and find the long-distance odds and get to know her better? Of course, we can't be more than friends until we spend more time together in person. Our phone calls are usually an hour or so in length.

Any suggestions on what to do for her birthday in a few weeks? I can't be there in person ... but any tips would be great.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Opposite coasts?? Yikes! What kind of relationship can you form with this? Have you no local options? Is she dating other guys locally?

I would touch base with her on a 'as needed' basis - your phone comvos may be too long for what you are getting out of her! I take it you travel once a month or so?

What is your purpose with this girl - ltr/marriage?? It is obviously not sex!

Don't put too much emotion, time, or money into this, only to receive a phone call from her 4 months from now telling you that she has b/f! You'll be disappointed.

99% of the guys here will tell you that 99% of long distances relationships don't work out!

For her birthday, send her a yahoo greeting and nothing else!! Don't buy her anything or get lovey dovey with her!

 

[baracus]

All those activities, and you didn't even try to kiss her?! One hour phone calls?! I'll bet you $10,000 that this thing will not work!!! (what the f*ck does "kissing carefully" mean?)

Oh, by the way, 99% of long distance relationships don't work out!