Need Help Fast -- Dealing With Model

[CaliGuyInLondon]

Okay so here's the deal. This chick, happens to be a model, starts hitting on me through facebook, gives me her digits and asks me to call her, blah blah. We've been talking a ton, texting back and forth cuz she's in Miami for the summer. She's been wanting me to go out there but I can't, but when she comes back we plan on going out.

Anyway the more we talk we got into like her past and stuff and how she had some Dbag BF who treated her like ****, didnt quite beat her but close enough, and has a real hard time trusting guys now. So while we flirt she doesn't want to like talk about getting in a relationship or anything like that, but still keeps flirting. Finally I get her to admit that there is some attraction on her behalf. We've still been texting and talking and **** and today she texts me that she saw that new movie THe Ugly Truth and now realizes she'll never find prince charming, and is saying stuff like, yeah love is impossible.


so far here's what I did.
Her: I know for sure i'll never find my prince charming.
Me: yeah well I guess I'll never find my librarian/stripper or my princess.
Her: haha yeah love is impossible lol

So I was wondering how to respond to this. should i keep along those lines and say something like "well we might as well stop flirting and talking then", or is there a better approach? Anyone? Any guys with experience. This girls is easily a 10 and a total catch, and ive fallen hard for her, bad I know, but can you blame me.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. For now I just haven't responded to her text.

 

[hover411]

just ignore what she said about not finding her man.....

she was prolly waiting for you to get all mushy, and try to prove yourself to her. it was a great response you gave her. you didn't bite.

just keep up what you are doing, and DON'T get mushy and tell her you have feelings for her or anything like that.

keep up the flirting and witty remarks like you made before and you should be fine. keep her on her toes, so when she gets back in town, you can escalate to the next level.

keep us posted, GL

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

haha okay, so i got impatient and replied before you guys got to it. but your advice is really good so thanks.

basically i just said,

"whether you think you will or won't find him you're right. ive got to go get ready for this dinner."

not sure if that was good. sometimes my downfall is my ADD and I get impatient and just want to text back, haha.

anyway, i made the mistake of a few days ago getting into the mush a little, but now I got to avoid it like you said, so hopefully that response did do me any harm? other than that any tips? i mean should my texts just be witty and not really address the whole relationship thing at all, but just keep a conversation going? or how do you deal with that kind of thing?

im pretty new to this, haha. you guys are seriously the **** though! haha

 

[hover411]

your welcome bro.

that's a pretty solid response.

you didn't say anything retarded like, "don't worry, it'll happen when you least expect it" or, "you've never met anyone like me yet!"

you were indifferent, and basically said that it is all in her head. then you bailed on the convo to do other things....

pretty solid.

--------------

just remember that hot chicks get their asses kissed ALL THE TIME. the second they sense someone doing it, it is such a turn off to them. they are looking for the guy that won't kiss their ass, will have his own opinion, and not be afraid to disagree with them.

that is why she was with a guy that treated her like crap. he didn't kiss her ass and treat her like a queen. she was attracted to that. if she really is a catch, than that dude messed up by not finding the right balance in charming her and showing her that he is his own man.

 

[Igetit!]

Okay so here's the deal. This chick, happens to be a model, starts hitting on me through facebook, gives me her digits and asks me to call her, blah blah. We've been talking a ton, texting back and forth cuz she's in Miami for the summer. She's been wanting me to go out there but I can't, but when she comes back we plan on going out.

Ok,so you two comunicate though Facebook. That's fine,but here's my question:Have you two met in person yet? Seen each other? Touched each other? Or has everything between you two been through the computer so far?

Anyway the more we talk we got into like her past and stuff and how she had some Dbag BF who treated her like ****, didnt quite beat her but close enough, and has a real hard time trusting guys now. So while we flirt she doesn't want to like talk about getting in a relationship or anything like that, but still keeps flirting.

So she talks to you about her issues and abusive relationships she's been in,but she doesn't want to talk about you two dating/being in a relationship.

Uhh...that's bad.

Be careful dude. You could easily be a phone call,text message,or Facebook comment away from the friendzone.

Finally I get her to admit that there is some attraction on her behalf. We've still been texting and talking and **** and today she texts me that she saw that new movie THe Ugly Truth and now realizes she'll never find prince charming, and is saying stuff like, yeah love is impossible.

You know what? I've noticed a pattern in these conversations you've posted between you and this girl.

You have a weak frame.

In both examples you've given,this girl has dominated the conversation with things from her life,either what movie she saw,or past men she's dated.

That needs to changed dude. Don't let her being a "10" stop you from being a MAN. If you allow her beauty to intimidate you,she'll walk all over you,mistreat you,dump you,then go find herself a man who will put her in her place.

so far here's what I did.
Her: I know for sure i'll never find my prince charming.
Me: yeah well I guess I'll never find my librarian/stripper or my princess.
Her: haha yeah love is impossible lol

So I was wondering how to respond to this. should i keep along those lines and say something like "well we might as well stop flirting and talking then",

You need to STOP THIS. Stop playing around like you're still in junior high school. Are you a MAN or not? Because I guarantee you that's what she's looking for. If you want this girl,then stop pussi-footing around. Quit this "prince charming/librarian/princess,"mickey mouse" crap.

You're a member here,and NO WHERE ON THE FORUM is this nonsense taught.

You see the part of your quote I put in bold? DON'T SAY THAT TO HER.

It's a mistake to say that. You're trying to win her over with logic.


You're like,"Well,you're looking for someone. I'm looking for someone. You're single. I'm single. Hmm. How about us then?".

You'll fail if you try to attract her being logical.

or is there a better approach? Anyone? Any guys with experience.

You want a better approach? Something that'll cause her to be attracted to you while simutaneously giving you the stronger frame? Easy. You two already have plans to go out when she returns to your town,right? Well the next time you two talk/comunicate,talk about the date.

Tell her you already know where you want to take her,that you're not going to tell her where yet,but just to make sure she wears something nice FOR YOU. Tell her whatever she wears doesn't have to be fancy,just to make sure she looks good FOR YOU.


I've said that a girl before. She was like,"Oh,something nice for you?",and I was like,"Hey,look. I asked you out. I'm the one who risked getting turned down. If I can do all that,plus pay for the date and put that high-priced gas in my car in order to drive you around,the least you can do is look pretty for me".

Try that out. Steal the frame back from her.

Otherwise,you may become the latest victim of the friendzone.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

THanks for the advice. I'm definitely not very good at this so that helps a lot. Anyway the part that you put in bold and told me not to say, i definitely didn't say, so its all good. I also talked to her about the date and she was texting me she just bought a new dress so i was like, guess you're going to have to wear it for me then, huh? not sure if that was like strong enough.

here's my question now, i made the mistake,don't hate on me, i'm new at this, of getting to talk about the date too much I guess. She kept having all these last minute things come up and we never had a day set for the date so I was thinking maybe she is just putting it off so I kind of brought it up and she got real mad because "she didnt have control over all those things and so many people are mad at her right now for not spending time with them and blah blah blah" but she also said that she definitely does want to hang out.

so we've still been texting a ton, and she has called me a few times but the past two days ive noticed she hasnt really been texting me that much. friday night she drunk texted me a lot but they were all completely misspelled haha, but thats about it. all the other texts have been like one word responses which is very strange for us. her friend just came into town to visit her friday night, at pretty much the exact time the texting kind of stopped, so maybe its just that she's busy. anyway should i try to text her or not do anything at all until she talks to me? i guess im worried that if i don't keep talking to her she'll like not care anymore, or something. haha. another question I have is how, besides the one example you gave me about her dressing nice for me, do I be strong and take the frame back? thats what I really need help with I guess. since I've already talked about hte date a bit, is there another way that we can initiate convo and say something to look strong etc...?

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

Sorry, another random thought. So i know I need to win back the convo and be strong like you said but I do I wait for her to text me again? or do i initiate convo with something to do that? and if so do you have any suggestions, or should I just use the look nice for me on the date thing even if its kind or out of the blue, or wait for the date to come up again? this **** is confusing. lol

but i do really appreciate your help.

 

[iqqi]

Good post by igetit, and caliguy, have you read the DJ bible!?



A lot of your post is AFC 101 on what not to do, and THINK.

 

[Igetit!]

I also talked to her about the date and she was texting me she just bought a new dress so i was like, guess you're going to have to wear it for me then, huh? not sure if that was like strong enough.

That didn't sound strong.

You'd be better off saying nothing than sounding weak.

She kept having all these last minute things come up and we never had a day set for the date so I was thinking maybe she is just putting it off so I kind of brought it up and she got real mad because "she didnt have control over all those things and so many people are mad at her right now for not spending time with them and blah blah blah" but she also said that she definitely does want to hang out.

Ok,you said that whenever you tried to have a date with her,at the last minute,somethingwould come up and she'd have to cancel.

How often did this happen,and over how long a period of time?

What I mean is,have you been trying to set up a date with her over like the past 2 months,and everytime "something" came up? Or has it been going on for like 2 or 3 weeks?

so we've still been texting a ton, and she has called me a few times but the past two days ive noticed she hasnt really been texting me that much. friday night she drunk texted me a lot but they were all completely misspelled haha, but thats about it. all the other texts have been like one word responses which is very strange for us. her friend just came into town to visit her friday night, at pretty much the exact time the texting kind of stopped, so maybe its just that she's busy.

Pleae,PLEASE try to answer this question as accurately as you can:In all these texts that you two have been sending each other,WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT? What's the topics?

If you don't reply to anything else correctly,PLEASE answer this one right.

anyway should i try to text her or not do anything at all until she talks to me? i guess im worried that if i don't keep talking to her she'll like not care anymore

LOL,boy this is funny. :crackup:

You say that you're worried that if you don't keep talking to her,that she might not care anymore,but to me,it seems like she ALREADY doesn't care. :crackup:

No. Don't try to call her or text her. You said she told you that she does want to hang out and see you,right? If that's true,then why does it seem that you're the ONLY ONE setting up the plans to spend time together?

It seems like you're the one making the plans,while she's the one breaking them all the time. If she really wants to see you as she says,then why isn't she setting up a time and place for you two to meet?

Answer that.


I have a suggestion for you to try. You'll have to be strong to do this,though.

Instead of typing it all out again,I'll give you a link to it.

Don't worry,it's not a four or five page thread to read. In fact,it's not a thread at all,just a single reply.

Here,check this out.

If you follow what's laid out there,it should put you back in control.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

igetit, thanks for helpin out, ill try to answer your questions as best as I can.

1. So we never made a specific date or time to go out on a date, it was just when she gets back. So she would text me and say oh hey so instead of being back on the 19th ill be back on the 22nd im going to vegas with my friends, and then like im going to SD for a day sometime during that week but not sure when, and then the last thing was and then i am going to vegas again for my dads bday. she did tell me, quite a few times, that she is going to warped tour on the 23rd and wants me to come with her. it wasnt' that she was cancelling dates, it was that she was just letting me know that certain days wouldn't work anymore. anyway at first i thought she was brushing me off so I kind of tried to call her out on it, w hich is what I was trying to say earlier, but she got mad that I would think that.

2. Okay this one is kind of hard to answer because we've been texting and talking so much, like literally a hundred texts a day sometimes. usually its simple stuff like her asking me how my day was or how my shoot went,or me asking her the same thing. sometimes she'll tell me about her friends problems with boys or how she's pissed at her friend. a lot of times it will just be random stuff that one of us sends and she'll send something like a smiley face and "cute" back. one night she told me about her past and how she was sexually assualted and wanted to tell me. we've talked about her family and stuff cuz they're really rich and going to europe. ummm, just all kinds of random **** really. she did tell me one night that she likes me texting her before she goes to sleep cuz she is living alonei n miami and gets scared a lot(goes back to her past).

3. yeah i mean i see what you're saying, but at the same time she has asked me to go to warped tour with her or another concert in october so its not like its just me that wants to hang out. and when i did kind of hint that she was brushing me off she was like god why are you reading into this obviously I want to hang out with you im just saying im really busy these days and not sure when. so thats whats confusing me.

I read that link you posted and it sounds pretty incredible, although pretty hard. im willing to give it a shot though. 5 days here we come. i have a hard time thinking I can do this, given how impulsive I am, but I trust that you know what is up so I'm going to give it my best to not text or talk to her for 5 days. in your post you mentioned if they call to talk to them, im sure she will text well before 5 days or IM me on the internet, do I talk to her then or only accept a call? I ask that simply because usually we talk more over text/IM than phone or skype.

anyway i realize im a total AFC and that i seem really lame but I do appreciate you taking the time to help me out.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

and she litereally just Im'ed me. im going to ignore it until i figure out exactly what to do from you, hahaha.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

Igetit, haha just saw you're from texas. im from LA but actually in texas right now, too funny. anyway if this works man next time you are in LA you let me know and I'll make sure you have a good time. benefit of being an actor...I can get you just about anywhere you need to go. lol