Need Help deciding between my ex and another girl...

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Ex: I dated my ex for 6 months and we've been apart for 6 months now. It was a completely clean break up. I just couldn't stay committed. My friends would ask me why I broke up and I really couldn't explain other than my attraction or desire for her went down. The last month of us dating It felt like a chore. Almost like we saw each other too much and I just didn't desire to see her at all and was only doing so to be a good boyfriend. She was a good girlfriend, did all the right things really wanted to help me out in anyway she could as well

Girl: 2 months ago I met another girl. I find her more attractive than my ex. My interest was really high for this girl and this girl is into me as well. She does most of the initiating of contact and to hangout,etc. We communicate pretty well. She's not as fun as my ex but I'll confess I developed some sort of oneitis for this girl early on. She also has some good qualities and genuinely portrays a lot of qualities that would be girlfriend material, bringing food, running errands,etc.

Now my ex has been contacting me to hangout over the past 2 months or so and we've hung out just as friends. She's saying that she can't see herself with anyone else,etc. I had completely moved on from my ex but she's a very sweet girl and now I'm starting to feel like I'd be an idiot to blow a second chance with her. A lot of my friends say the same thing as well, thinking I was crazy for ending it with her. Everyone loves her and she has a lot going for her. The other girl is into me but its not nearly at the level of my ex. I really need some genuine advice. Cute ex with qualities and adores me or extremely hot new girl that just likes me.Thanks.

 

[expos]

Quick questions. Does your ex know about your new girl? Has your ex got with any guys in the past 6 months when you guys were a part?

If she knew about your new girl, it probably screwed with her head. Women don't like being replaced and knowing that you aren't pining over them. They have much bigger egos than we do.

Part of me is just thinking that your ex might have just got sick of being alone, thought the grass might have been greener, and was wrong, so now sees you as her only option. If the relationship was so great to begin with, it would have lasted more than 6 months - which is a pretty short run in my opinion.

Is it a relationship you want? Or would you rather date multiple women?

Things might be exactly the same with your ex if you go back, are you prepared for that? The consensus here is to move on and find hotter, nicer women, because they are out there.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Appreciate the response. I initiated the breakup and the ex didn't take it well. She tried to get back together for a week or two and a few months after, finally started texting me saying she was in town,etc. All this before the new girl even came into the picture. The ex has dated a few guys but i dont believe shes hooked up with any. The ex never argued with me, or played games etc. She was very striaghtforward from thale get go that she really liked me and saw a future with me. She does know about the new girl, but outside of knowing the new girl exists and that we talk she doesn't know anything else.

I want a long term relationship. What I am afraid of is getting back together with the ex. I find the ex attractive but it was so hard during the relationship seeing other women I'm more attracted to, my ideal type. The new girl is my ideal type physically. But I'm trying to asses the most amount of wisdom here and not chose solely on looks.

 

[AttackFormation]

I've been in the same boat since August or so last year, except that I never made her my girlfriend and I knew there were other girls I would prefer out there but had no one in specific in mind.

Let me keep this simple and ask you these questions, that I asked myself.

Do you want to keep spending your time out together trying to avoid looking at the girls you really want so it doesn't remind you of what you're forgoing? Do you want to spend your time out together thinking to yourself how you need to force yourself to like this girl more when you see that hot @ss you really want so your head doesn't explode? Do you want to live your life suppressing and forcing your own emotions?

If you answered yes to all 3 questions, go ahead and get back together with your ex.

 

[Yewki]

Sounds like you're not that interested in your ex. The fact you're not sure whether you want your ex or the new girl indicates the new girl isn't very interesting either. Maybe the best option is to commit to neither and keep looking.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

@attack. Yes thats exactly what i thought when I was out with my ex. My interest level for both is maybe on the lower end. It was high at one point for the new girl. Perhaps I'll just put both on the backburner for a bit and set things straight in my head.

 

[Lozboss]

It sounds like you are playing it safe.

But to add some balance and play Devil's Advocate to this discussion:

There are always hotter women than who you go out with- it's in Man's nature to get bored. You only truly value something when you don't have it. Learning to value things (like your gf) when you do have them is what makes a relationship successful (note I don't say- be a little b*tch beta)

Do what makes you happy- if banging lots of girls does then do that. If your ex makes you happy and you want to try that again then do that.

 

[AttackFormation]

It sounds like you are playing it safe.

But to add some balance and play Devil's Advocate to this discussion:

There are always hotter women than who you go out with- it's in Man's nature to get bored. You only truly value something when you don't have it. Learning to value things (like your gf) when you do have them is what makes a relationship successful (note I don't say- be a little b*tch beta)

Do what makes you happy- if banging lots of girls does then do that. If your ex makes you happy and you want to try that again then do that.

When your girl is hot enough, you don't need a hotter girl the same way you do if you're not satisfied to begin with. That goes for a lot of things in life too.