Need help, confusing situation.

[voiceofthesoul]

I'll provide a backstory. I just turned 19, and I haven't ever had a girlfriend or kissed a girl (i had a lot of stuff going on in highschool). However, I'm an attractive guy, I work out daily, and I don't have much problem getting along with people or making new friends.

Ok, well I recently met this girl through mutual friends and we hit it off pretty good. I got her number and she asked for my email etc... For the last few days we've been hanging out, and we're pretty much the exact same person. Same interests, similar personalities, etc... When we hung out on friday and watched a movie, we got pretty comfortable and she would 'cuddle' (lame word ) with me and we'd rub each others arms and whatnot. That night after I took her home, she texted me at around 4am asking if i could give good massages and whatnot. I responded that i could but we just chatted more and nothing happened etc... Then on saturday she told me she had just gotten out of a long relationship a month ago and wanted to take things slowly because she might still have feelings for her ex and didn't want to hurt me. So we chilled for a little while before we went to the movie and then we went out to the movie and did the same thing, i'd have my arms around her and she'd be holding my hand and rubbing my arm etc, you know basic stuff. So I took her home, but I didn't make a move to kiss her because I'm not sure what her definition of going slow is.

Sunday night, we had another long talk and she explained to me that she wasn't really sure what was going on with her and stated again that she wanted to take things slow because she cared for my feelings and didn't want me to get hurt. She explained the situation with her ex was that they were always fighting so they decided to end it so that they didn't end up hating each other. She said they are still friends and it's working out well so far.On monday we hung out again, and the same cuddling etc happened but I still didn't make a move on her because i thought she wanted to go slow. Yesterday night after we hung out, we talked for 3 hours and she pretty much told me everything about her past and I told her everything about mine. The topic came up of if i've ever had a girlfriend etc and she said she asked because I was kind of shy about kissing her, and I explained that the reason i didn't do anything is because she said she wanted to go slow in the first place. She made a comment about how if i were to kiss her, she didn't want things to start going fast all of a sudden, and didn't want me to think it was more than it was (which i wouldn't). So I said I wouldn't do anything unless she was ready, and she said shes the type of person that won't know until after.

So, obviously I'm going to kiss her, however I have somewhat of a predicament. We're going out with my friend and his girlfriend tonight, and I'm thinking it would be best if I waited until it was just the two of us to make the first move. So i don't really know what to do. Any advice or anything that can help me understand the situation i'm in would be appreciated. Originally I thought I was probably just the rebound guy, but shes an amazing person and it seems like now she actually cares about me. She told me she loves seeing me and has a great time with me, and I feel the same about her so i'm confused as to what to do.

 

[Nighthawk]

Sounds like you missed several chances and are now in the friend zone. Worse, she may be lining you up to be her cuddle-b*tch (thanks Rollo Tomassi).

Why did you never make a move? Women want you to turn them on and seduce them, not listen to all their problems, cuddle and rub arms.

However, maybe she has convinced herself that your previous timidity was excusable if you were being shy and respectful, and is going to give you one last chance, so be a man and LEAD her to her erotic destiny.

Specifically, get her alone on some pretext of having to show her something (whisper it in her ear), or dance with her, or start feeling her up under the table or anything DOMINANT not submissive and kiss her up with confidence. if she doesn't respond she's not interested and only wants you around for the attention.

 

[voiceofthesoul]

Well I was going to make a move, but before I did she told me she had just gotten out of a long relationship and wanted to just take things slowly. So, this made me think that I didn't want to screw it up and should just wait.

When I said we're going out with my friend and his girlfriend, we're going out for wings (its kinda a tradition between me and him) so I'm not sure how I should get her alone. I know that I need to make my move ASAP, preferably tonight or i'm going to lose my chance (if its not already too late).

 

[Kings_royalty]

Sounds like you missed several chances and are now in the friend zone. Worse, she may be lining you up to be her cuddle-b*tch (thanks Rollo Tomassi).

Why did you never make a move? Women want you to turn them on and seduce them, not listen to all their problems, cuddle and rub arms.

However, maybe she has convinced herself that your previous timidity was excusable if you were being shy and respectful, and is going to give you one last chance, so be a man and LEAD her to her erotic destiny.

Specifically, get her alone on some pretext of having to show her something (whisper it in her ear), or dance with her, or start feeling her up under the table or anything DOMINANT not submissive and kiss her up with confidence. if she doesn't respond she's not interested and only wants you around for the attention.

I couldn't agree more with Nighthawks post.

I think you are using the 'respectful' excuse as a smokescreen to hide your fear of making a move. Based on what I read, you could have done allot more than kiss her by now.

I hope you didn't totally screw up your chances.

 

[voiceofthesoul]

Well I'm not arguing that I wasn't using it as a smokescreen, but it wasn't really that I wanted to be respectful, more that I didn't want to screw things up (and because of that I guess I have). I need to make my move tonight though, but howwww do i get her alone in this situation

 

[Kings_royalty]

Well I was going to make a move, but before I did she told me she had just gotten out of a long relationship and wanted to just take things slowly. So, this made me think that I didn't want to screw it up and should just wait.

Yeah, that's what SHE said, but what did her body language say? Based on what you have posted, I am fairly certain her body told a totally different story.

Who said anything about having to get her alone, you aren't trying to have a make out session. All you want to do is escalate the situation, and you can do that with a small peck on the lips while walking through the parking lot...it won't take much.

 

[voiceofthesoul]

isn't that kind of weird though to have our first kiss be infront of two of our good friends?

 

[Kings_royalty]

No, it's not. Just make sure you don't ram your tongue down her throat and lay her down on the hood of a car.

The key here is to escalate bro, there are all sorts of ways you can do that. You can take her hand and walk with her as if you were a couple…subtle; but effective.

 

[voiceofthesoul]

hmm alright i'll try something like that I guess. Although, my good friend told me I should just talk to her and ask her whats up before I make myself look like an idiot, because i've been talking to him about the signals shes sending too and he's confused as hell aswell so i dunno. He suggested something like "what's the deal with us... I'm not sure if I should like you or if we should just be friends or what"?

 

[Obsidian]

Just f*cking kiss the girl already.