"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Need Help: Conflict Dates, any advice on how to get it done right?

necromuncher

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Here's my situation:

I have this college friend of mine (rating: 60%; chubby) and we go out many times because my workplace is just a few steps away from hers. We'll call this girl as "M". We go out regularly for a coffee and blog about anything with her laptop at starbucks. Since M is still single and I am developing an interest to her, I told her that we are going to date on Saturday. And M agreed.

On the other hand, I have a girl (rating: 80%; beautiful and sexy) that I was courting from previous company and I txted her last night. We'll call this girl as "A". I asked A about her plans during this Valentines week. (I know, you'll probably say I still have interest to A) My answer is yes. Although she dumped me already, still I love her more than any other girls. And I couldn't help it. :( Ok, back to the situation.

A answered to my txt, "I don't have any plans. In fact, I have no date."

So, I grab the chance and told her that we're going to date on friday (plan is to bring her with me on my friend's birthday and give her a rose or something). She told me, "There's no problem with me. We'll meet at the old place then".

Yesterday, a guy friend of mine txted and told me that the party was moved on saturday instead of friday.

What should I do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
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Do what girls do all the time. Flake. Go with the one you like more. There's an archive or tip thread here about stacking dates to guarantee that you'll have a date on the day.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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So, you like girl A but, she dumped you? So, your telling us you're trying to get your ex back? If that is the case you just need to get over it.

As for girl M... Fat/chubby girls need love too! Why not take her on a few dates and see what you think of her. If you know you can do better and you arent really interested in her. Re-enstate your draft for the next qualifying women.
 

necromuncher

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Thanks for the quick reply, Jitterbug.

Yeah, I'm trying to get my ex ("A") back but she already told me on the day she dumped me that she's seeing me as a good person and not as her future boyfriend. That's was sooo unfortunate for me. If I could have been true to my promises this wouldn't be happening. I guess I have no choice but to get over it.

AS for "M": I'm not sure I.A.F.Y.B. if she look up to me with interest or just getting over from her previous relationship. I must have told you guys, "M" had just broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago. Am I just a sort of rebound on this situation or not really?
 
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