Need help, but for others to read as well.

[salinechow]

Guys, WTF. Help me break down this "oneitis" BS. Seriously, now Im getting pissed. What was your experience and how did you fix it?

I have been pouring over this excellent website but I still cannot gather the answers to this whilst implementing to perfection the strategies set forth by all of the master DJs here and the DJ Bible. Help.

I was at a casino this weekend. I was having an excellent time with family. I was interacting with HBs. I floated my # to 2 very fine selections. I implement every strategy here. I add my own flavor and flare. Things go ok.

Here is the question... My grandmother had some health issues while we were away. I have stated before that I have a medical background so of course I was requested to be there in even more of a capacity than I would be even normally. On the third hospital visit during our vacation, the most serious of them all, I was outside sipping some coffee and taking a break, and I am thinking HEAVY about my "oneitis" !!!! What the f^ck is wrong with me!

Almost 50 days NC. I almost caved too. So close. I wanted to text her for the holiday. I don’t want to pass up on even the sliver of hope that she is thinking of me also. So depressing. I know certain things that will probably never make us work out. More than probably. Unlikely. Yet, through all the plate spinning, all the self-improvements, all the new connections, all the overall progress, she consumes me sometimes. All the talks and texts, all the reassurances, all the physical stuff, all the perfect nature in which we existed and shared makes me think I should reach out.

WHY on earth am I even considering this with so much else to deal with and manage? Why would I even consider she is still thinking about me, as much, when she has not reached out? If it ever happened to you please share. Explain how you made it through. Encourage why I should continue without at least trying to rekindle with her. Or, maybe you think I should? Maybe you could encourage me to at least try?

I cannot believe that I still am not over this braud after all the success of thinking I am. WTF!?
If you need insight of our relationship read Lie-lyette under my post Titled: Recovering AFC has an epiphany after 20 years. Still needs help.

Thanks in advance guys.

 

[hop On hop Off]

I think it is when you are weak, you are reminded of others---friends, family, and especially the girl you like.

It is also during the holiday season, you are going miss everyone the most, especially the ones you love.

If you don't have anyone else to turn, you can always drop a post here. There are plenty of people who have walked the walk. You will be helped. Stay strong, stay positive. Best wishes to your grandmother's health and happy Thanksgiving!

 

[MattR1984]

Delete her number, block Facebook. Make it so you can't contact her even if you wanted to. If you know the number by heart you've gotta have the will power not to contact her. If you do that wound is going to totally open up again and you're back to square one.

I've been there before and did the no contact and each time I broke it and wrote them I felt like a fvckimg idiot hours later and nothing ever good came out of it. Keep doing your thing and dating other women. My longest relationship was only 8 years so you've got me beat but I can understand what you're feeling. Total no contact man. Stay strong and you will eventually overcome this. Like you said about texting her for the holidays. If she wanted to talk she would of used the holidays as a excuse to text you the same as you thought but she didn't. Stay in NC and stay strong man. You got this.

 

[AllDay85]

Just keep dating other women and understand that a lot of these feelings you're having are just chemicals in your brain interesting. You have to rise above your generic predisposition.

 

[astrn]

Dude if its gonna help you I am still having the similar oneitis issue as you. almost everyday I am thinking about her but I know I am gonna forget her in a few weeks.

I dont know how old are you and how experienced about the oneitis/girls/sex etc situation before (i had only slept once and it was 13 years ago) I am still kinda half baked virgin as you can say. But I had alot of oneitis situations before and after each of them I am getting easier to recover.

But the last oneitis currently I am fighting is not like the others I had the past before! However I need to get over it by any means. If it is gonna help you my current oneitis is a celebrity where she is normally living in Slovakia. She is going back to her country in 4 weeks I think (We re in USA). She said she liked me when we first met, wanted to sex with me etc. My AFC behaviour messed up everything and now she is not talking with me and sleeping with other guys... She HB9+ material!

I can give you some good advices that working for me pretty well.

1-Hit the gym. Yes! When you feel yourself in a situation that you are gonna start to thinking oneitis intensely and/or you are willing to call/text her just go to the gym or go outside and run! Jusr run as long as you wont feel your legs. It will increase your blood pressure and makes your think better and logical by pumping more blood and oxygen to your brain.

2-Read material like No More Mr. Nice Guy. (I am still reading). Read the forum, search for the articles similar to your situation etc.

3-Call someone like very close friend that you can trust. Tell your situation to him/her. Just tell but never seek his/her advice just say to them listen and needed to tell this somebody... If you seek advice this is usally mess your brain too much. Just tell them I am not looking for advice, just listen. This will help to clear your thoughts and gives u a relief of telling your feelings to somebody you can trust.

4-Get together with friends, have fun, drink etc,

5-Find a hobby, watch a movie.