"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need help breaking out of the online/text habit!

tryst type

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Ok so here's the thing, i'm in my late 20s and I grew up in the inception of online socializing (AOL days) where i met my first gf on there which lasted four years, so naturally it subconsciously inscribed in my head that meeting people online wasn't so bad. I admittedly enjoyed chatting with strangers through chat and developing cyber relationships. I even coined the "art" of "cybering" at the time haha.

Now from all that, stems my current problem. i am in such a habit of this technological disillusioned world, that when texting came into the equation i carried my "online chat game" into the texting realm and this is where problems have ensued!

i've realized girls aren't as open to chatting online/via text to get to know a person as they were once so inclined to in the days of AOL. Because of this, i'm coming across as "awkward" or "too forward" or even in the worst case scenarios "creepy" I hate the feeling i get but i can't shake this damn habit!

My sense of humor/personality is best suited in person for i am particularly sarcastic and playful, text does not provide the underline connotations needed to convey that properly. I've realized all this yet i still can't break out of my habit, always sending texts, chatting on facebook. I can feel a sinking feeling in my gut 70% of the time telling me this isn't going as well as i hoped and then i become needy and approval seeking, needing some sort of validation before ending a conversation as to not feel "creepy" before the interaction ends.

IRL i am perfectly fine, i can sense when to lean back, joke, initatiate, etc. then soon as i text or talk to same person online i sense i'm killing my game. It's an addiction that i need solved, any advice?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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EA Gold

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Try disconnecting your computer for a week, better yet cancel your internet service.

That should get rid of your addiction.
 

Iceberg

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EA Gold said:
Try disconnecting your computer for a week, better yet cancel your internet service.

That should get rid of your addiction.
True.

I wanted to break the "Come home from work, sit on the couch watching TV" habit, so I canceled my cable.

Walk away from the computer. It's that simple.
 

Iceberg

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tryst type said:
What about how the habit has leaked into my "texting game"
Well common sense tells you that you're not going to charm someone via text. No girl's gonna say, "I wasn't going to date you, but then you sent me that awesome text and totally changed my mind."

I keep my texts short and to the point. Like, "Hey! Did you have an awesome weekend? Let's do drinks Thursday."

With a of guys on here, that would be a 3 or 4 text conversation.

Text: Hey! How was your weekend?
Girl: I went to a concert
Text: You went to a concert? That sounds fun.
Girl: It was fun. Drank a lot!
Text: Hope you're not hungover!
Girl: I'm not.
Text: We should hang out soon. When are you free!?!
Girl: Zzzz

Stop thinking that you can attract women via text. Use it as a vehicle to say what you absolutely need to say instead of for minor chit chat. The chick either liked you already, doesn't like you, or is waiting for you to convince her to like you. But cute little texts aren't going to help sway the decision.

And most importantly....you want to break the habit? Break the fu*kin habit. Thinking about it isn't doing it. Talking about it isn't doing it. Writing about it isn't doing it. Just fu*kin do it. Stop texting people. Boom.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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tryst type

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That's great advice Iceberg Thanks!

Reason this is such a "habit" is because most of the girls i meet are off facebook, i've become quite good at initating through a message and quickly within a few have her number. So i feel i need to develop some kind of trust before she'll accept spending time with me. This is where the habit of texting as if an IM chat kicks in and i end up blowing it by being showing my personality too strongly through text minus emotion.

If i try to call or suggest it, girl tends to always say she'd rather text. I know the better solution would be to talk to girls more in person, but sometimes facebook let's you meet girls you probably wouldn't have bumped into during the day.
 
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