Need help being a man

[thefonz]

Jariel, I believe that insome people depression like yours is kind of inherited from your parents.....i believe i got mine from my mother as i remember being a teenager and walking around miserable for a few weeks....when having a conversation with my motherone day she told me "I was just like you when i was your age" . This was an epiphany for me because if got me thinking that all those times i thoughti was 'different' from everyone else emotionally were a result of my genes and not as much my enviroment. I believe anti-depressants should ONLY be used in cooperation with therapy, you should never rely on drugs

Since we're on this topic i wanna say that i recently came to the conclusion that i am severely depressed and i have never been ina state of true happiness. I lie to friends and acquaintances about what i'm doing and what i've done out of shame and it has cost me the closeness you feel around other people. I will seek therapy imidiately to solve this problem because i want a life where i don't worry about what others think.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Not masturbating makes me a agressive and more alert-maybe it's mental then?

Jacking it actually keeps me calm....

 

[Jariel]

I have tried drugs and councelling and they both helped me get over a period of depression, but neither has helped me in the long term as I still take break ups very badly.

I'm feeling better about my recent breakup now as she has apologised and explained and I have no resentment, but it still feels like a massive come down and everything in my life feels empty and mundane.

Despite being one of the most popular guys on my uni campus and having more friends than I can count, I actually feel very lonely.

It could be genetic as we have a long history of depression (and even a suicide) in our family, but generally I'm not really a depressive person. It's just that setbacks like these hit me hard. Though it may certainly be worth looking into.

 

[Sart]

WELL

There is short term advice and long term professional help. Usually once a person tried this and tried that and still didn't pursue a long term plan, usually I basically said something like "You are absolutely right, so are your friends who have given you their expert advice without knowledge, so, there is only one cure....Heres some rope"

Sounds extreme right? But really, some people listen until they get the answer they want, they look for a quick fix, they just dont get it. If your body over produces seratonin, then you need to block that for life. There are drugs specific to OCD type conditions that have amazing results. If the **** who said "when you come off the blah blah" was told he had a chronic heart problem that required he take a tablet for life or die........guess wat? He would treat the condition. BUT, because you have a chemical imbalance that HE DOESNT GET, his advice will always be tainted with his own self fears and ignorance.

NOBODY here can help you....YOU KNOW THAT...seek professional advice and help from a bloody professional or pisse off. Sorry, I tried the siftly softly approach but you aren't listening. So, "heres some rope" You see what I am saying?

 

[Sart]

Sazuki

There was a time I would have laughed you off the planet for attempting philosophy to combat medical science. But lately I have had an interest in metaphysics and a very respected Psychiatrist I know has delved heavily into metaphysics to try and help his patients.

Okay Jariel, you have two options as I see it. 1. Follow Western science and/or 2. Try spirituality/metaphysics, either way....Nike It...Just Do It.

 

[Jariel]

Sart

Don't think I don't appreciate the advice being given and I wouldn't ask for advice if I was going to ignore it. I have taken something from most posts here and acting on it, but I consider drugs a very last resort if all other options fail. As for counselling, I'm sad to say that it isn't an option for me now as I cannot afford it.

But rest assured, one thing I am not doing is sitting on my ass looking for fate to change. I have started working out heavier to try to increase my testosterone levels (this is working). I am also using all this as a learning experience. I have written down my mistakes and lessons with women and have devised a set of personal rules based on this, which I aim never to break in the future.

I will also consider reading the books Sazuki mentioned and try a number of options open to me. If it fails, then I will visit my GP and see about medication.

The advice is all appreciated and not falling on deaf ears.

 

[Etienne]

Does your testoterone level increases when you lift weigths?

You should read the Lucifer Principle by Howard Bloom. He explains men-women relationships in a very clear, honest and shocking way. It's all very scientific. Testosterone level can be affected by many things, including psychology.

What Bloom explains, if I understood his book correctly, is how nature works. Well, some of the stuff he demonstrates is pretty shocking and hard to accept. Kind of takes the shine off humanity. Nature basically eliminate the weak and favor the strong. Successful people will have higher testosterone than unsuccessful ones.

EDIT: Drugs taken to deal with depression decrease your sex drive dramatically. Think about it twice. Depression is the result of you lacking control over your life. The more control you have, the less depressed (happier) you will feel. Act accordingly to your goals and depression will most likely fade away. Many people feel powerless over depression and instantly refers to medication which could've been avoided by resorting to action over thoughts and endless discussions. If you act and fail, but keep acting until you succeed you feel something inside that is nothing short of marvelous. Confidence.

E.