Need help badly...

[deniall]

I apologize for what's going to be a long ass post but I have to get this off my chest and ask for help... Hopefully you guys can lead me in the right direction.

A bit of background:

28 (nearly 29) years old.

Have had 3 serious girlfriends in my life. First one was great but I wanted to play the field so that ended. Second one was good for a while but I never felt truly comfortable as I thought I had batted out of my league. Third was a disaster. She was a lying, cheating, ***** with serious emotional issues and cheated on me 7 times. Despite this I still had feelings for her and kept seeing her. Eventually I cut ties and never spoke to her again. Despite knowing she was a total slutbag the pain of the whole thing has made me bitter and I have totally lost faith in women.

Have't been laid in over a year. Went travelling for nearly a year overseas and didn't get laid once.

Skinny as hell, no game, no confidence and always being friend zoned because i'm the guy all the girls want to hang out with but don't want to ****.

Too nice. I tend to do everything for girls and let them walk all over me. Give them too much attention etc. I don't know what to do or say except to be a silly guy which they all love as a friend as i'm "fun" but don't want anything more.

Had a lot of financial issues when I was younger and as a result I still live at home with my mum. I have taken some huge steps and am very close to having my finances under control and hopefully will have a place of my own by 30. Living at home severely effects my confidence.

Have a good job which will begin to pay very well over the next few years when I gain more experience.

Used to workout a lot and looked pretty good. Now I smoke, eat like **** and have no motivation or desire to do anything active. As a result i'm 6'1" and 150lbs and pale as hell. Again, this severely effects my confidence and feeling of self worth.

So with all that said, how can I start the ball rolling? Do I just forget my flaws and start approaching or should I work on improving myself before I try to game women? What should I tackle first? I have been told i'm hot by a few women in the past but I don't feel that way. Would really love some feedback.

 

[SecondHalf]

Hmmm, pretty obvious I would think.
I think you need to focus on yourself for a while or the women will get in the way of your immediate needs.
Get some weight on yourself, write down a plan to get out from your mother's home.
You might want to ease into things by hitting meetup.com. Events are usually pretty cheap and it gets you out with people where you can begin to change your AFC ways.
Read this forum (twice). The Book of Pook would be a pretty good place to star.

I think I understand your post. There is no easy way to radically alter your life but to do it. You'll feel the changes soon enough, just have to start.

SH

 

[Colossus]

Get in shape. It's going to take a long time, but that's the first step. it will lead to more confidence, more attractiveness, and more lays.

PUT ON SOME MUSCLE.

It's not rocket science, especially at 150 lbs. Start with a very basic weight training program; doing bench, squats, deadlifts, chin ups, and the overhead press. Add weight every week. Eat clean whole foods. Lean meats, eggs, oatmeal, rice, vegetables. Eat like a madman!

In 3 months you will start to notice your body turn into a more muscular masculine body.

This will get the ball rolling on everything, trust me. Most of your insecurity stems from your lack of confidence in your appearance, and living with your mom, of course.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What do you do for fun? What do you find enjoyable in life? Find something you enjoy and pursue it.

There is more to you than where you live and where you work. If you got your own place tomorrow, you'd still be the same person psychologically. So if you don't have a healthy mindset, nothing that money can bring is going to matter. Sure, wealth can get you initial interest from women, but a lack of confidence and the wrong attitude will chase them away just as quickly.

 

[deniall]

Thanks a lot for the advice guys. Much appreciated. Priority number 1 is getting off the smokes and getting some weight on me.