Need girl help

[girlhelp111]

hi everyone Tom here. i need some help with my girl situation.

well first of all i like her a lot and she knows it. the last time i talked to her she came right out and said "do you like me or something" and i wasn't gonna lie so i said yes. and she doesn't like it that much. i was wondering if anyone has any advise for me on how to get to know her better and maybe go out with her one day. she is on the swim team with me and i don't talk to her very much during practice but i do talk to her on face book. so if there is anything anyone can suggest i do please say so and ill try it.

P.S. i am only 16 do not have drivers license yet so i am limited to the things i am able to do plz keep this in mind and thx for the advise.

 

[Bible_Belt]

the last time i talked to her she came right out and said "do you like me or something" and i wasn't gonna lie so i said yes. and she doesn't like it that much.


You messed up there. Never tell a girl you like her. They want to wonder if you do.

If a girl ever asks you that again, respond with something playful like, "sometimes" or "I like some things about you." Every other guy is going to answer like you did, and then the girl is bored right away. Make her wonder, and be playful about it.

Now you have to try to work a little push-pull. She thinks you are going to follow her around like a puppy dog. Don't do that. Don't be a suck-up. Still talk to her, but end the interaction and go your own way. If she ever mentions you liking her, say something like, "yeah, but that was last week. Now I think you're just sorta ok." Say these things with a smile, and try to have a little fun with it. The idea is not to be the typical kiss-ass that most guys become when they like a girl. Don't be outright mean; don't call her fat and make her cry - but learn to enjoy playful teasing jokes at her expense. That is how to make her like you. Even if you don't go out with her, you still have fun with the interaction. Treat every girl this way, and you will always have a girl if you want one.

 

[girlhelp111]

O.K. but when she mentions something about me liking her and i say no that was last week and then she like loses interest in me if she had any at all to begin with i am screwed what do i do from there.

And also she is younger then me and i heard that she wants a bf from her but she didn't know i was listening and i don't try to stalk anyone but i do do that sometimes(a lot). So like what i just said she wants a bf but she doesn't know that i know that and i am not very good at cracking funny jokes that aren't gonna hurt her in anyway. I am one of those shy guys that i usually wont talk or say anything to her unless i am asked.

I am trying to get to know her better through face book it is working a little bit. Another problem is that when i am talking to her she says like two words at a time and then doesn't say anything else and i don't know what else to ask her that doesn't sound like i am trying to stalk her. maybe if you can give me a few ideas on what i should say or ask. like for example ill say "how was your day" or "how was swim practice" and she will respond with either "ok", "idk", or "fine" and thats it so i need some new topics to try to talk to her about

When she logs into fb again ill post the chat up online without the names so you can see what she was asking and how i responded and what i might be able to fix.

Thanks for the help and please keep the help coming

Tom

 

[Bible_Belt]

i am not very good at cracking funny jokes that aren't gonna hurt her in anyway. I am one of those shy guys that i usually wont talk or say anything to her unless i am asked.


Well then that is a problem and you have to work on that. You and your skills with girls in general are a hundred times more important than any one girl. I know it often does not seem that way, but it is. Read on this site about how to talk to girls, and then go practice on other girls - not just this one. You will make mistakes; you will say stupid things, that is just part of learning and getting better.

What you should not do is label yourself as "shy" and use it as an excuse not to try. That will never get you anywhere. Maybe you are shyer than average, but these are things that are overcome with practice. I have been better right away at certain things than other people at first, but then they have worked a lot harder at it than me and ended up much better. Everything takes work and practice. Girls are no different.

Other guys here who are younger can give you more tangible advice, but my advice is to work on your shyness.

 

[girlhelp111]

ok this does help a lot. but i just ran into another problem
now she thinks i am stalking her. should i back off and just let it go or should i still talk to her but go slower if you will. i don't know if i should just give up and move on or just get to know her and see what happens from there

 

[Igetit!]

ok this does help a lot. but i just ran into another problem
now she thinks i am stalking her. should i back off and just let it go or should i still talk to her but go slower if you will. i don't know if i should just give up and move on or just get to know her and see what happens from there

Stalking her? What in the world did you do to give her that impression? If you're serious,and she really thinks you're stalking her,then it's over. She's afraid of you.....and that's BAD. Every time you look at her,every time you approach her,every time you try to initiate a conversation,you make her feel more and more uncomfortable.

I agree with Bible Belt. You need to work on your shyness. You being around her while at the same time being quiet/shy just makes things worse. The best thing you could do now concerning this girl to be see by her laughing and talking to other girls. If she see you being social with other people and those people interacting and being at ease with you,then maybe she'll think she was mistaken about you,then she'll warm up to you.

So putting all this in action form:

1:Leave this girl alone. Right now,in your current condition,you'll only further damage things with her. And like Bible Belt said,you working on you (being less shy,making others feel comfortable around you) is more important than this one single girl. You'll want to fix these problem as soon as possible,otherwise the next "hot" girl you come across who you like,you'll just end up with the same type of situation as you did with this girl......and I know you don't want that.

2ractice just talking to people in general,not just to girls you like. Whenever you are trying to gain the interest of some chick,it puts too much pressure on you. You're too concerned with what to say,what not to say,whether she likes you or not,etc. You can't just relax and just enjoy the conversation,and you need to be able to do that when you talk to a girl.
Another thing that will help you is when ever you talk to a girl,stop thinking that you HAVE TO get this right,otherwise you'll never find a girl who likes you. Don't think that each girl you come in contact with is "the one".

You problem seems to be two-fold. One,is the way you present yourself to girls,and two,you seem to have a lack of understanding about how attraction works for women. Work on number one first. This one is the most important of the two. Don't worry,you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have every single ounce of shyness gone,but you need to be farther along than you are now though.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Say these things with a smile, and try to have a little fun with it. The idea is not to be the typical kiss-ass that most guys become when they like a girl. Don't be outright mean; don't call her fat and make her cry - but learn to enjoy playful teasing jokes at her expense. That is how to make her like you. Even if you don't go out with her, you still have fun with the interaction. Treat every girl this way, and you will always have a girl if you want one.

Man this is some of the best advice possible, I think this pretty much sums up high school relationships. +1


Be creative and spontaneous. Take risks! You don't get anything in return unless you risk a part of yourself and change up your style a bit.
I have some of the same problems dude, I've definitely been called a stalker. One time the girl was refering to something that happened a week before, and at that time I had only known her for two days.

What b!tches...Lose her, don't talk to her or look at her. If somebody calls u a stalker they're trying to get rid of you.

As for shyness, just practice talking more to your own friends and practice talking to people in your classes. It doesn't have to be anything big, you could just be talking about classwork. The point is talk, talk, talk.

Get out of your comfort zone, put yourself on the spot.
Challenge yourself to be a man, thats where the root of your game comes from.

 

[Juice09]

like for example ill say "how was your day" or "how was swim practice" and she will respond with either "ok", "idk", or "fine" and thats it so i need some new topics to try to talk to her about

Bro, you sound like a typical nice guy. Right now you're boring her to death with all of your normal every day conversation. You need to flirt and be funny. Bible Belt gave some excellent advice and I strongly suggest you use it. Because right now, I guarantee you she thinks you're needy, desperate, and creepy.

 

[girlhelp111]

As for shyness, just practice talking more to your own friends and practice talking to people in your classes. It doesn't have to be anything big, you could just be talking about classwork. The point is talk, talk, talk.

this is true but i am not shy around my freinds i am only shy when i am around her talking about anything in her presents if i am talking directly to her im ok but if not im a little iffy on what i should and shouldn't say so i take a while to say anything or i just am like "what sry didnt here u" that is the way i am shy has nothing to do with talking to my freinds it is all talking to her.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I just made one of my first moves ever today man. I failed so badly lol I didn't finish it and the girl just walked away without saying a single word.

But I managed to talk to her for almost 30 minutes with very few stops.

How did I do this? I treated her like a very good friend of mine. I surprised myself so much by the amount of technique I used in the conversation. I was very upset at the end of it though. Doesn't mean she'll ignore me tomorrow or anything, you just gotta try your best man.

Try your best, don't expect yourself to succeed big every time, just give it as much juice as you can, make your best attempt to talk to her. Even if you're scared of talking to this girl (here I mean fear of the outcome), do it anyway because if you really like her you need to make an effort to be her friend first, then you can try and make a move and hopefully not fvck up and walk home depressed like me lmao.

The point is you need to make the moves man, for your own sake. If you really want this girl you really gotta show her that you're interested in her. This is why rumors and love letters and being straight up "I like/love you," etc. don't work at all - it's because you're not showing genuine interest in her and she doesn't see any value in a relationship with you.

You can definitely do this though, just fight your fear of approach and take one for the man inside you so you can progress with yourself.

You won't know the outcome unless you try; you could be missing something good.

 

[girlhelp111]

ok thx will try to do so tomarrow during school or at swim or both that sounds better lol

 

[I'm in the Mood]

yeah man talk that girl up, its good for ya

 

[girlhelp111]

ok so i was talking to her and my sister was there and a bunch of her friends and after i left she said something. when i got back to my house with my sister she told me what the other girl said "i am so glad he finally left" so obviously she doesnt like me talking to her at all. and i am ready to just give up and just not talk to her at all just leave her alone. idk what to do need some advise here thx

 

[I'm in the Mood]

next her thats really a b!tchy thing to say.
treat what she said as "girlhelp111 can do better than me."

if you wanna do something about it, just be mature and DEFINITELY flirt with other girls around her. they have to enjoy you though, if you get the feeling that they'd rather not have you there then don't go any further.

 

[Analyzeit]

You've got oneitis and your a AFC lol I mean come on, i don't think she likes you bro, you gonna have to read up on the dj bible then use the new techniques on other girls and if you really want this chick will hopefully be jealous and come back.... easier said then done lol