Need funny responses to comments!

[Keeper]

Right, so how would you guys respond when a girl says these things to you:

1: "You're so funny!"

2: "My friend said you're hot."

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!" <--- Ok... that one stumped me badly. I just said: "You sitting on a lemon or something?" (Yeah, bad, I know.)

4: "You're so weird!" <--- Said with a giggle.

5: "I'm so ugly." <--- I hear that one heaven knows how often... can't think of a good response (non-AFC) for it.

6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore." <--- Said after I don't talk to her for more than 3 seconds. Literally.

7: "Is something wrong?" <--- Dammit I hate this. Maybe I can't respond to this because it pisses me off so much. (I should smile and laugh more, I know. You rarely ever catch me with a smile or laughing.)

8: "I have XX guys chasing me now." <--- Usually I get a number between 5 and 22.

9: "Man but you have an ego!" <--- I do, actually.

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet." <--- Her pointing to a girl I'm close to, but said in that sort of suspicious 'take me out now!' sort of tone.

Any thoughts you guys could share would be much appreciated. :-D

Thanks.

 

[squirrels]

1: "You're so funny!" Kiss her.

2: "My friend said you're hot."Kiss her.

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!" <--- Ok... that one stumped me badly. I just said: "You sitting on a lemon or something?" (Yeah, bad, I know.) Kiss her.

4: "You're so weird!" <--- Said with a giggle. Kiss her.

5: "I'm so ugly." <--- I hear that one heaven knows how often... can't think of a good response (non-AFC) for it. Kiss her.

6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore." <--- Said after I don't talk to her for more than 3 seconds. Literally. Kiss her.

7: "Is something wrong?" <--- Dammit I hate this. Maybe I can't respond to this because it pisses me off so much. (I should smile and laugh more, I know. You rarely ever catch me with a smile or laughing.) Kiss her.

8: "I have XX guys chasing me now." <--- Usually I get a number between 5 and 22. Kiss her.

9: "Man but you have an ego!" <--- I do, actually. Kiss her.

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet." <--- Her pointing to a girl I'm close to, but said in that sort of suspicious 'take me out now!' sort of tone. Kiss her.

A lot of these lines are the kinds of lines you don't just get right off the bat...they all sound like she is either stating her intent to get intimate with you (either directly or by projecting her own feelings onto a "friend") or that she's trying to qualify herself to you.

That doesn't mean that the time is necessarily right to actually KISS her, but that's what you're working toward. And I don't think canned lines are what you need at this point...often the comments she makes about you can be acknowledged and passed off without a second thought, much less a cleverly planned response.

Consider it a test...she wants to see if you'll break down and start kissing her butt as soon as she drops some unexpected interest indication on you or if you'll man up and just handle it.

Mmmm....drooling pu$$y.

 

[Keeper]

Hahahaha Squirrely. Ok, I get the point.

Seriously now... imagine it was over the phone.

(oh, and yes, I've read the bible and WOMS, I just need to hear a few fresh ideas.)

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Keeper
Hahahaha Squirrely. Ok, I get the point.

Seriously now... imagine it was over the phone.

(oh, and yes, I've read the bible and WOMS, I just need to hear a few fresh ideas.)

I edited it to be a little more specific. And if a girl is saying these things to you on the phone, stop jerking around on the phone before you end up in the friend-zone. Take her out.

 

[Gravyboat]

1: "You're so funny!"

"And beautiful. Don't forget beautiful."


2: "My friend said you're hot."

"You TOLD her??"


3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!"

"I figured you had a drooling problem, but honestly..."


4: "You're so weird!" <--- Said with a giggle.

"That's what my pet wookie always says."


5: "I'm so ugly."

"Nice to meet you, Sougly."


6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore."

"You're right. Let's become mimes and move to Paris."


7: "Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure--I haven't finished grading your sh*t test."


8: "I have XX guys chasing me now." <--- Usually I get a number between 5 and 22.

"Why--did you escape from the zoo again?"


9: "Man but you have an ego!"

"Well, at least I don't have a vagina."



10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet."

"Why, did YOU want to?"

 

[Keeper]

HAHAHAHAHA

:crackup: :crackup: :rockon:

Good stuff!

 

[Mr.Style]

1: "You're so funny!"

Thanks. It's nice for a girl to tell me I'm funny...without her adding the word 'looking' onto funny...

2: "My friend said you're hot."

Your friend has good taste.

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!"

Your ***** has good taste. Actually I'd like to find out if that's true. (smiling)

4: "You're so weird!" <--- Said with a giggle.

Don't call me weird, call me eccentric. It's more politically correct.

5: "I'm so ugly."

Don't be silly. If you were ugly I wouldn't hang out with you.

6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore."

(Open your mouth as if to respond but say nothing. Then smile)

7: "Is something wrong?"

You mean besides that silly question?

8: "I have XX guys chasing me now." <--- Usually I get a number between 5 and 22.

Why did you steal their wallet or something?

9: "Man but you have an ego!"

Just because I think I'm superior to everyone else doesn't mean I have an ego. Oh wait...

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet."

Hey if you want to, don't let me stop you.

 

[Keeper]

Haha Mr Style. Good ones.

Cummon people... I want to hear more. this stuff is funny.

 

[Marf]

I'm not that good at just replying to stuff on-line (much better in real life)...but i'll give it a try

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet."

"Why? You want me to show you how to attract XXX?"

7: "Is something wrong?"

"Yes....you keep asking all these weird questions..."

5: "I'm so ugly."

"Well... I didn't want to be mean when I first met you"

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!"

"You want me to lick it dry or what?"

1: "You're so funny!"

"That's what your mom told me too..."

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by Keeper
5: "I'm so ugly."

Stop beating yourself up about it...You can't help it.

:crackup: :crackup:

 

[McKindley]

1: "You're so funny!"
thanks

2: "My friend said you're hot."
That's nice. What about you? What do YOU think?

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!"
Really? We should go and take care of that.

4: "You're so weird!" <--- Said with a giggle.
thanks?

5: "I'm so ugly."
Yea, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that its out in the open. . .

6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore."
yea, you're probably right about that. (say it fast and then immediately move on to some other topic. it'll confuse her)

7: "Is something wrong?"
Yea. probably. Somewhere in the world something's wrong. That's kind of a weird question though. Why do you ask?

8: "I have XX guys chasing me now."
Good for you? I'm impressed now? (it makes her look kind of stupid for saying something that. . . stupid)
or
(looking around the room) "I don't see any" or "where are they?"

9: "Man but you have an ego!"
I also have the first season of McGuyver on DVD.

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet."
you get surprised easy don't you? Like One morning you go for the eggo's instead of the cheerios, and then you're flabbergasted.

 

[italostud]

Christ man, if a chick says to you "My ***** is drooling" what the hell are you standing there for, trying to think of a comeback? Right after she said that, you put your hand down there, rub and say "oh you're right". Then procede with procreation.

 

[Alpine]

I suspect most of these questions are hypothetical.

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by italostud
Christ man, if a chick says to you "My ***** is drooling" what the hell are you standing there for, trying to think of a comeback? Right after she said that, you put your hand down there, rub and say "oh you're right". Then procede with procreation.

excatly.....

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

hey i got some of my own, if yall could give some feedback.

"my butt looks wierd in theese pants"

"your alot older than i thought you were"
-i usually end up saying something like "is that a good thing?"

"you're such a boy"

"you're so crazy"

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by gimmeyofonenumba


"you're such a boy"

you dont need a comeback like for this, you need to change your attitude and become a man.

 

[Mr.Style]

"my butt looks wierd in theese pants"

Riiiiight. It's the pants...

"your alot older than i thought you were"

That's ageist. I should have you arrested. Or at least give you a spanking...

"you're such a boy"

Wanna help make a man out of me?

"you're so crazy"

Hey, the institute says I'm all better now...

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

damn thats good, i just cant respond that quickly in reality.

 

[flyinshark]

I'll take a stab at this...

1: "You're so funny!"
Oh, you just got the joke i made 5 minutes ago? Nice...

2: "My friend said you're hot."
Go tell her that i find her hot too.

3: "OMG! My pu$$y is drooling!"
you're in luck baby, i am a part-time plumber.

4: "You're so weird!"
No thanks, i just had some earlier.

5: "I'm so ugly."
At least you've got nice boobs. Just kidding honey

6: "You probably don't want to talk to me anymore."
Ha! I won! You talked first!

7: "Is something wrong?"
you: Yes.
her: what?
you: your bra needs a bit of adjustment, let me handle it (if u dont know her well, stop there, but if u know her well, proceed to actually move her bra a bit, while accidentally grabbing one or both boobs)

8: "I have XX guys chasing me now."
My bedroom is that way. go hide in there and i'll catch you soon.

9: "Man but you have an ego!"
You just found out? Bwahahaha.

10: "I'm surprised you havn't asked XXX out yet."
Me too...what was i thinking? I could swear it was on my ToDo list (take out your ToDo list and check it carefully)

 

[lYlasTer]

"I'm so ugly."

Cut yourself some slack, even Angelina Jolie would look ugly next to me.

I win