"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Need closure on this

S

SolidGold

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Hello all.

So here's the issue.

Back in July 2012 I met this girl (she's the 19-year-old sister of a really good female friend of mine) and, although she was a bit shy at first, we had real good chemistry going on between the 2 of us and we spent all night, hugging, holding hands and kissing.

The next few weeks, she added me on facebook, started conversations with me frequently and started to hang out with me and my friends regularly. Even though I always wanted to ask her out, I never got the nerve to do so.

During this, our mutual friends started to talk to her about me (you see, I have the reputation of being a hard drinker and a player around girls), and she got really jealous and paranoid about that fact (which I think it scared her away). So when I did got the nerve to ask her out, she declined...

So, I was really sad about it and decided to back off a little bit. Which I did until the day of her sister's 21st birthday (mid December). She sent me a message asking if I was going to the party and started to act all flirty again (she even invited me to her birthday party which was the following day).

The last time I saw her, it was on the new year's eve party at her house. Her mom was there and was acting very friendly towards me, always complimenting me or asking me why didn't I bring my girlfriend (which I don't have).

On that party she would do things like inviting me to the dance floor, and when some minutes after I arrived to the dance floor, she would go to the other side of the room, where should be constantly staring at me.

And things like this happen regularly, where she seems to be giving me mixed signs all the time.

Another fact is that her best friend has the biggest crush on me. I don't know if she knows this.

The fact is that I tried to move on but I'm still into with her. Even though I still get positive vibes from her (when we're together, we're always flirty to each other), she has said 'no' to me before. So this is why I need to closure this issue... What do you guys think I should do?

Thanks in advanced :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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seethehoop

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You prob waited too long to ask her out, the player vibe wouldn't really scare her away as such, it would make her see you as more of a prize, a challenge. It may make her act more coy around you but not scare her away.

My advice is take it easy, you're prob in ya early 20s too. Play the field, don't put your eggs in one basket. Haves a good time and if ya arround this girl be the life of the party, not obnoxiously of course, there's an art to it, but be happy around her but not because of her and if she wants to be around you more there won't be any mixed signals.
 
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Cremasta

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Stop hanging out with a girl who's knocked you back. Right now she's holding the puppet strings and you're just dancing around to her tune.
Go for her friend, she'll work harder.

Good luck.

P.S. Your mutual friends sound like wankers
 
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SolidGold

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Cremasta, the mutual friends are cool people. They just have this problem where they sometimes just do stupid things... And I was really considering banging her friend. Nice to see someone "supporting" my "decision" ahahaha

blueeyedgent, haven't done that, but I've approached other girls and got their numbers right in her face. And some of those girls were friends of hers...

SoSuave666, her sister dates my best friend. That would not be cool...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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saturnalia

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SolidGold said:
Cremasta, the mutual friends are cool people. They just have this problem where they sometimes just do stupid things... And I was really considering banging her friend. Nice to see someone "supporting" my "decision" ahahaha

blueeyedgent, haven't done that, but I've approached other girls and got their numbers right in her face. And some of those girls were friends of hers...

SoSuave666, her sister dates my best friend. That would not be cool...
Click to expand...
she knew you as a nice guy, but than you surprised her with some player stuff, therefore she says NO, because she thinks she`ll be a slut if you`d bang her

what we have here is a case of you not escalating like a pro, if you had the brains to orchestrate scenes that give you the player vibe, you should have at least the balls to make moves on her regardless

there`s NO, that sounds like "no" and is filled with fear or anger

and there`s no, that sounds like I`m not that kind of girl, so you have to take the initiative and therefore the responsability of the intercourse

I think she`s saying the second type of no if her mother`s friendly towards you

so when in doubt whip it out

and if she doesn`t fit the bill, you can still bang her mother
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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Need closure on this

No, you want closure. It will arrive when all of life becomes fair. Don't hold your breath.

Continue to cultivate all of your options. Don't burn bridges for yourself by confusing your wants with your needs. Guys who say they want closure will typically end up forcing the girl into a horribly awkward "Why don't you like me?" conversation.

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0002103/quotes
Forrest Gump: Why don't you love me, Jenny?

Doing that destroys any chance you had. Plus the girl will always lie in order to not hurt your feelings; you'll never find out the real truth anyway.
 
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SolidGold

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saturnalia, I see... Thanks for you input ;)

Bible_Belt, Totally get what you're saying, thanks :D
 
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