Need advive, please hear me out.

[24hours]

I don't think I've ever felt this bad in my life... It's killing me.

About 9 months ago, I met this girl, but I was not attracted to her. Little did I know, she was crazy for me. So a couple weeks after knowing this I took action. It was my friends birthday and she was there. We were all having fun. I gave her some shots and drank a few myself. I confronted her and she was very shy towards me but not to anyone else. I ended up kissing her. We made out and it felt great. As dumb as it sounds... I really liked her for who she was.

I called her two days later and we started dating... that was 9 months ago. I was never really attracted to this girl, she was a bit overweight, but I helped her lose weight and she looks beautiful now. I taught this girl how to drive and helped her get her license. (we're both in our twenties). We go to the same college too and I help her with her **** there too. I walked her through so many things and I'm always there for her.... The fact is, I was always more mentally attracted to her than physically. I don't think I would ever be able to say those words in a million years, but I have fun with this girl and I love her personality.

So here's the troubling part. Her best friend is a guy. This guy is very fat and unattractive....BUT, and trust me, this is a big BUT...this guy has been in love with my girl for years... he claims to not be anymore. She on the other hand thinks of him as nasty and will never even do anything but be friends. He's the obnoxious type where 90% of guys hate him and think of him as gay. Some people think he's funny, but I think he's the immature funny type who just gets annoying to people.

So my girlfriend loves me, she tells me everyday, we talk and we're open to one another, but she talks to this guy everyday on the phone for a good hour some days, she works with him, and they go out a lot. They go to clubs, the beach, parties, and other places together. I knew this from the start, and I was never a jealous guy to begin with, but last week, I was going through a hard time (family problem) and I wanted to go out with her, she was at work and told me when she gets off in an hour or two that she'll call me.....7 hours went by, and I didn't get a call. I was pissed off, but we worked this **** out.

I've been out with them before, I have fun because my girl is there, but I could sense his jealousy and hatred from a million miles away. That's why I don't like when he's around.

Point is, she goes out with this guy to a lot of places alone and sometimes with friends, and let's not forget he used to be in love with her. How should I feel about this? I mean, I really trust her, but she has a very flirty attitude sometimes and lately it's been getting to me. I talked to her for an hour about all of this as best as I could. I kept my cool and told her that I don't like it...but it ended up in a HUGE argument/fight.

Sorry, it's just that I care for this girl, and I lost a lot of my friends because of this girl. (Long story, not important, it wasn't her fault nor mine).

Now sometimes I feel lonely when she's having a good time with him and she's not with me.

How would you feel if your girlfriend was going to a club with another guy friend alone...but they are just friends, and nothing is really happening.

I'm gonna stop my *****ing and listen to what you guys have to say. This is not how I really am in person, but this situation is hurting me for some reason.

Thanks in advance.

 

[blackbelt2k]

run a screen.. what days do they usually go out? on those days, make plans with your chick for you and her to go out...make the plans 2 days in advance.. what your goal is to gradually shut this guy out, so that he gets frustrated and aggrevates a confrontational situation with her...once he does that, he's is as good as gone.. you have remain mr. cool and composed, and run your screen.

 

[realsmoothie]

If she knows just how much this other guy is getting between you, she should take action to deal with it. If she doesn't, she's not into you as much as you'd think.

Sad, but that's just my guess. You also mention something about how you lost all your friends because of her and how it's "not important"... but honestly, man, dating a girl shouldn't have that kind of effect on your friends.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

blackbelt's plan is great. It's a real tempting option if things were different. However...I'm not digging the fact that this "girlfriend" of yours spends so much time with the other guy. Really. Going out with him to clubs, the beach, etc...wtf?! He sounds like a regular BOYFRIEND to me. Fu*king hell, that long-time, lovesick-for-her chump has moved right in on her and she's g*ddamn lapping it up! That sh!t ends immediately or you and her are over. Sorry, I'm feeling ya on this one...

She's gaming you. She's happy to have both of you digging on her. BTW, is Puppydog-Loverboy paying for her when they go out? If so, well, there's one more reason for her to keep him in tow. She's beautiful now and loving it. You did the right thing by confronting her and in a reasonable tone. She obviously doesn't value you enough to cut the other guy loose. I'm not sure there's a happy ending in sight here any time soon. It's probably time to NEXT her and move on.

 

[blackbelt2k]

wait, scratch that...i didn't read the part about you confronting her... ^^^ is right, time to put some distance between you and her... time to man up...either risk losing her or risk losing what it is to be a man.. dont' fight with her next time, just plainly and calmly say TO HER FACE, this is how i feel, this is how its going to be... dont' call me, i'll call you when i think your ready to listen