"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need Advise Pls

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Dr Box

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First of all well done Sp1Kez sounds like it all worked out, now just dont come off needy keep playing it cool and you will be fine.

Secondly I totally disagree with badmannaz, I don't think you should ever tell a girl how you feel in the first couple of months of meeting her and even then I would be careful how I said it.....where is the fun and guess work for her if you just say ahhhh I like you sounds very afc to me. I am not saying you have to next every chick but there are other ways to work them rather then tell them you like them.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sp1kez

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Ok we've been seeing each other like every other day (work at same place, different store) and every time after work we hang out in the parking lot making out...couple days ago she sent me a msg "I just want you to know that im not looking for a boyfriend right now" but I still see high IL in her and we keep getting together.......tomorrow we goign on a double date w/ her and her roomate's bf.....:eek: . I want this girl to go crazy about me....you think it's time for me to withdraw and ignore her for a while(ie: not call her, ignore txts etc?) once she realizes what she lsot she should be begging for it.....right?
 
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Sp1kez

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Bump....


Above Question.

Also....If I see herlike every other day at work...how can I do the ignoring thing?
 
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funkybuddha

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To the above question..play it cool man. She's saying that now..she might change her mind. Besides..you're gettin some..and sometimes..it's just best to shut up. Don't ignore her..but you could sometimes say "i'm a bit busy right now..." etc etc.
 
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sexysuave

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Ha ha, yeah, nothign wrong with that man. Don't do anything. Well first of all, I wouldn't hang out with her everyday for starters, but do not TALK about relatioships. I didn't respond to your first post, but why would she come outta nowhere and say something like "I dont' want you to be my boyfriend"?

Did you happen to ask her to be your girlfriend? Don't do this. Just advance physically and let her bring up any relationship talks. If you havent' banged her yet, DO IT! Act casual, be light and funny, tease her and be busy as well. She doesn't necessarily work in the SAME store as you right? Which means, let her come over and say hi to you, do not go to her store your self. Be friendly around other girls and make sure that she knows that there's "a coule of hotties in your store making passes at you". Since you're only friends, this may benefit you. Especially since she's saying things to you such as "I dotn' want you to be my boyfriend". I'm not sure why she's saying this, but obviously she's getting the idea that you WANT a relatioship. This means you're either telling her this, or acting in a way that tells her this.

Be the same guy that attracted her in the first place, when you were totally cool about it all. I'm sure your'e not doing this, because if you were, why woudl she be saying these things to you outta nowhere. Turn a date down averynow and then and tell her that you're busy and have to take care of some things.

Next time she tells you "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" tell her "Good, me neither". And that's it, get off the subject.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Sp1kez

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When she told me that I hadn't talked to her for the whole weekend and monday I got that msg......then she told me she watched a movie w/ her exbf.......so basically shes prlly still attached to him...

The movies yesterday was great...

I haven't mentioned anything about our relationship or questioend her on anything......yet today out of the blue (I was in class) I got a msg from her " We need to talk" ....now I can see where this is going, she is probably gonna tell me she just wants to be friends (again?) , or something along the lines....(hopefully she didnt get back with her ex)

and I don't know how to respond to this...I turned my phone off just in case she decides to call because I need a strategy, I can see what cards shes gonna play next and I wanna be ready.

Today she closes and so do I...Im not gonna come up to her or anything... I don't think Im even gonna wait for her to finish closing (i always close faster) but do you think she will see this as 'weak'? she migth sense that im trying to avoid her just so that we dont have to talk...?

How can I handle this? what if she comes up to my work and starts talking to me and tells me something about how we cant be together.....how should i react?

I need a DJ reply ASAP...im leaving for work in 20min
 
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Sp1kez

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Well no1 replied to I went with gut instinct...

During her break she came over and we got some food, and after closing I waited for her...We went to the parking lot and made out...she had said earlier that she was very tired and she kept saying it so I gave her a massage, then she was falling asleep in my arms so I told her to go home.

I told her "see you around" and then said "I'll call you tonight or something" and I said "No...I thought you were going to sleep, are you gonna keep me up too?" then heres whats he said "Oh well, I'll call Mike(ex) then" I looked at her and said "Knowing you, you'd probably call both of us" and she got catty and said "Whats that supposed to mean?" and I kissed her and left...


Im gonna invite her over for a movie on sat...how should I word the request? I dont want to ask her "Do you wanna come over and watch a movie saturday?" I was thinking more "You should come over to watch a movie with me"

any suggestions?
 
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Vibe

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Originally posted by Sp1kez
then heres whats he said "Oh well, I'll call Mike(ex) then"
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Okay, dude. You are dealing with a girl who loves to play games. The fact that she said this was a total sh*t test. She wanted to make you jealous/gauge your reaction. She is doing it on purpose. What you should have said was, "that's cool. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Mentioning "you'd probably call both of us" lets her know that it is getting to you. If you act like NOTHING bothers you, she will eventually get the idea that you have bigger p*ssies to fry. Don't set a precedent of game-playing. Learn to recognize her games and don't take that sh*t or she will try to use it all the time to get what she wants.

~Vibe~
 
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Iamnotacrook

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Originally posted by MackJr
Don't listen to this guy. He's probably an undercover Christian or some male feminist (or woman) trying to get guys to wuss down. This is bad advice because it'll only lead you to NOT having relationships.
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Guess what... a friendship IS a relationship... what do you do, you relate... just not the way you may want if you're hell-bent on manipulation. I'm completely okay being friends with girls. Honestly, if you limit yourself to rules as to which girl you can be friends with, doesn't that raise a few suspicions? I'm not undercover, I stand for justice. You can not tell me that you are honest about your psychology studies. Manipulating and lying is not acceptable behavior in terms of the right thing, and that's what we're all supposed to strive for, whether we're Christian or not(I'm not a Christian, I praise Nature). I'm here for self-improvement. What are you here for? To get laid. That's what it seems like. Which perspective is more likely to allow success in the future? Who's using the board properly? I don't talk nonsense. If you're a treal ass don juan, you know you have nothing to hide.

If you are a Don Juan... YOU are a Don Juan. If you're lying and hiding your true self in order to manipulate, I can only feel sorry for you... or if you interfere with my lifestyle, I'll have to **** you up. :(

As far as being unable to handle female friends... damn that is not cool... alot of this stuff, I'm fortunate to have known to ignore it. Some of you need self-improvement more than anything else.

You recognize ejaculation as a much needed release but what about tears? ****ing ego-driven morons don't know where inspiration comes from. Christ. Get on my nerves. F*** up with that macho ****, I'm equal rights, ****ING BLEEDING TESTICLE BASTARDS!!! ****!!!!!
 
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Sp1kez

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Originally posted by Vibe
Okay, dude. You are dealing with a girl who loves to play games. The fact that she said this was a total sh*t test. She wanted to make you jealous/gauge your reaction. She is doing it on purpose. What you should have said was, "that's cool. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Mentioning "you'd probably call both of us" lets her know that it is getting to you. If you act like NOTHING bothers you, she will eventually get the idea that you have bigger p*ssies to fry. Don't set a precedent of game-playing. Learn to recognize her games and don't take that sh*t or she will try to use it all the time to get what she wants.

~Vibe~
Click to expand...
You're right...I didn't think of it...this may have caused me to loose the game (she hasnt called or txtd me today...very odd) I guess I won't be calling her again, time to get on the next one.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Sp1kez

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WOW WTF...

Today I was at work and she comes by really early coz she was shopping with her sis and comes over to say Hi then goes back...Couple minutes later I get a txt "I think that we should just be friends" to which I reply "We have been friends all along, yes we may be VERY friendly at times but theres nothing wrong with that, call me" she calls me up and I told her that it's all good and theres no beef, I gotta seduce the **** outta her now I wanna keep her as a pleasure slave....haha

Man this ***** is tripping.....I think the day she didnt call me or anything she was with her ex coz the same happened before, she didnt call me in a whole day then I found out she was w/ him...that didnt stop us from getting it on the next couple days tho...

Maybe it's time to give this one up
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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