"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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need advice

nemowolf

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Alright so here is my issue. I broke up with my ex about three months ago. It took the better part of two to get over her and a friend showed me this site, which helped move things along nicely. I then met up with this girl, we talked for a while and we just had sex last weekend. Monday night, im drinking a few beers with a friend of mine before he goes off to Iraq for another tour and it hits me that im having a relapse on my ex. Like bad, this morning i woke up thinking about laying in bed with her staring into each others eyes. I'm constantly haunted by nightmares of her too.

So here is what i'm asking, what do you all do to get over an ex? I know that many of my friends have said hit the gym, stay busy and other such things. But i figured sleeping with another girl would be just as good. Someone told me that they felt guilty after hooking up for the first time after the ex, so maybe this is it?


I'm sorry if im posting in the wrong area but i just dont know where to put this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

MacAvoy

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All of the above, stay busy, go to the gym. Go out with other women, one isn't going to be the answer to all of life's dilemna's. You can't trade 1 one-itis for a different one-itis. You need to experience the pleasures of being around MANY women.

Also, if your really serious, lay off the booze for a little while. Alcohol is a depressant, and she will always come back to haunt you when your hung over. If you drink hard, her memory will only linger longer.
 

flexion_

Master Don Juan
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Well moving on to other people helps. Start new memories with the person you are with and they will replace the old ones.

Also, also remember that, "time is the greatest healer". So these feelings will fade with time.
 

nemowolf

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thanks a bunch, these words are very encouraging for me. A day later and im feeling better already. It still lingers but i know ill be even better tomarrow.
 

Jariel

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I think it may be a rebound thing. You've been used to being intimate with your ex- so it's understandable being with another will stir some memories.

Same thing happened to me. After breaking up with an ex- (who I had strong feelings for) I started seeing a model on the rebound. She was so hot, smart and everything I'd normally look for; my friends were jealous and yet I still couldn't get my ex- from my mind.

I regret that I ruined things with this great woman over it, but things have improved since then and I'm happily seeing someone else now.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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