"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

need advice

alnite

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2004
Messages
115
Reaction score
1
Location
Big Bad California
OK, there is this girl who always come to my room. My roommate, her, and I usually chat and watch TV, bull****ing. First, she hated my roommate because he was such an *******. Saying things that everybody knows is a lie. He said something, then five minutes later he said he didn't say it. Girls hate that.

So anyway, this happened last semester. At the end of that semester, after my roommate left for christmas break, we were sort of alone, and we got pretty close. She paid for my lunch, we hug on her bed. Then, I had to back up and I had my own reason to do that (but I didn't tell her). Then I left for my break and said her goodbye over the phone (she wasn't in her room when I knocked on her door).

New semester started. All fresh and stuff. First she was kind of back flirty to me, but I wasn't being a DJ, I didn't throw any C&F comment, because I was just depressed at that time. Basically for the first couple of days, I was being a total beta guy.

Now, I know she is desperate of sex and a boyfriend. And you know, she flirted with my roommate now. I know she hated him, but now for some reason she would just laugh for everything he said and ignoring me (not totally but I could tell the difference). And one day, I was sleeping, and they both were watching TV, and she made fun of the way I slept (as if now she hated me or something). And the cues she is giving to my roommate is much more obvious than the one she gave to me.

She wasn't really my type. But I need to do something to this. It's just getting annoying day by day. I am planning to talk to her about this, not in a wuss way. I am not afraid of loosing her, but I need that clarification why she's doing it.

What do you guys think? Should I pretend nothing happen and play it dumb. Or should I talk to her and everything clear. Or should I just find another girl (either way, her flirts still bother me).
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

tmpgstx

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
Messages
1,331
Reaction score
7
Location
Somewherez in USofA
She loves to hate him, see the difference between you and he? He's creating tension, and you're giving her hugs on your bed.

It may already be a lost cause for you with this girl now, but if you really want her, start chatting up other girls and let her see it.
 

Andromax

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2004
Messages
393
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
Alaska
Man, if you want her to lose whatever respect she had for you then go and "have that talk with her, because you are afraid to lose her."


It seems to me, that you are just a little jealous of your roommate and that inspired you to have some sort of "feelings" for her. You said she is 1) Not your type. NEXT. 2) You had reasons for NOT putting the moves on her and nailing her. NEXT.

Why are you going back to a chick that you missed your window with?

Sure you could try to salvage something from this, but it seems to me that if you go down that road, you are fueling a fire of indecision and "little heart to heart chats with a girl about your relationship" that always end in disaster for you.


You dont want to hear this, but next her bro. You rejected her in the first place by not wanting her, stick to your decision. You wont "lose" her as a friend if you just dont sweat it, dont mention it, and for gods sake dont freakin bring it up to her in a mushy convo.


Thats all I can say...
 

alnite

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2004
Messages
115
Reaction score
1
Location
Big Bad California
Ah crap, you guys are right. I don't know what's happening to me. I lost all my game after this christmas. Thanks for the advice, I'll just next her and consider her for my roommate.

I'll reread the bible.

TO mod: sorry I posted in the wrong forum, I just realized it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top