Need advice to get out of nasty situation...

[Gpaq]

There's a girl that dumped me and went back to her ex. We cut contact for 1 month and then started to call me, saying we should be friends and have no hard feelings. I made a huge mistake... I went along with that, it's been 4 months now. I feel that she's just an AW and wants my attention- e.g she calls me when I don't call for some days, she only says to me to go out with her when I behave badly to her e.t.c.
I want a way out. Just ignoring her is not an option. I just want to say something to her and never contact her again. Any advice?

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Alright dude, you are aware of what she's doing... "Calling for attention" like a cat...

Telling her "Don't call me anymore" fuels her satisfaction over her control over you. Ignoring her won't give her satisfaction, but will make her more psycho over you, for some guys they like that.. but I would watch out for this.

Just be "nice and brief" - You never call, but you pick up if she calls (do not return voicemails.) - Act friendly, but cut the call within 1 min. Do not say anything about hanging out, she can say that - but again the "nice and brief" rule still applies.

The last resort is to change your phone number, block emails, etc but this is also unmasculine but should be the last resort.

 

[Gpaq]

Thanks man. As far as hanging out with her, do you think it's a good thing to do? She proposed two times to hang around and I declined. Anyway, as I see it she wants to keep me at arms distance. Not too close (she doesn't really want a friend, she wants a follower) and not too far (in case she loses me).
Typical AW case I beleive.

 

[Desdinova]

You're the one who's in control of your situation. You're allowing her to control your contact with her. Tell her in a firm voice that you don't want anymore contact with her. Don't answer her calls, don't go out with her anywhere. You're not standing up for what YOU want - to move on with your life. She's got your ba11s in a vice, but you're the one who let her put them there. Face the fact: you may have to hurt her feelings to move on with your own life. Big dea, she'll get over it.

Even if you try to move on with your life, the moment you get a girlfriend, your ex will have her "feelings hurt". Are you going to dump this new chick because your ex controls your life?

 

[arlanda]

Wanna get rid of her? Do some AFC stuff, call her every day, tell here you have feelings for her and write her a poem

 

[Gpaq]

Ok, I finally ended this. She offered to give me a ride home with her car from work (we work together). She mentioned something like "you know, the fact that you still talk to me after all that happened between us, I consider it as weak from your part. I think you wanted to end it completely but you couldn't". I didn't respond right away. I go home and I send her an SMS "If that's the way you see it, then so be it. Goodbye and don't call me again".

 

[nishbuk]

Good that's step one.
Step two is the hard part. That's coming to terms within yourself that this girls' actions, opinions, thoughts mean nothing to you. You could give a damn. Don't worry you'll get there eventually too.

 

[Jariel]

"you know, the fact that you still talk to me after all that happened between us, I consider it as weak from your part. I think you wanted to end it completely but you couldn't".

She actually said what all these girls are thinking!

Lesson: never let a woman control you and never hang on hoping to rekindle a former romance. Once it's over, move on. If she's interested, she will do the chasing.

 

[Gpaq]

Thanks man. Lesson learned. BTW, was this a good way to end this? I don't care about how she saw it, I just want to learn from this experience.

 

[Gpaq]

Ok, story continued. She insisted on talking to me. I said ok, go on. She said that she broke up with her bf. I told her, its none of my business. That's life anyway. You'll get over it.
Stupid women...

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by arlanda
Wanna get rid of her? Do some AFC stuff, call her every day, tell here you have feelings for her and write her a poem

Yeah tell her you're in love her. That'll get rid of her. Or just complain about women and how you can't attract one (even if it's untrue) that'll definitely turn any woman off. Seriously acting AFC would do it as quick as anything. I think the OP maybe secretly enjoys this situation with this girl, that's fine.