SmoothTalker
Master Don Juan
So I need some advice guys, frankly, I'm a bit confused at the moment.
**I know it's long, but I think most of the details are important. The short version is, I've recently reconnected with a girl. She seems interested in me (makes conversation, agrees to dates, kino, gave me head without even asking, etc) but has twice said we shouldn't proceed because we're both 'too busy for it to work'.**
There's this girl, lets call her Sam. I went to high school with her, but she was a year younger, so I only ever had one class with her. We are facebook friends from years ago but honestly I had forgotten who she was. About 2 weeks ago I was bored, saw her online, and randomly messaged her. She responded, seemed pretty cool, got her phone number and msn. Chatted a bit more, than invited her out to a date for Good Friday since we had the day off and neither had plans. I didn't literally say 'date' but I thought it was pretty obvious. She agreed, apparently enthusiastically.
A few days later, we're talking again, and she asks "So we're just going to be hanging out right, it's not a date?" I figure this is a test or maybe I wasn't clear, so I just tell her that yes it's going to be a date, problem? This is where it got a bit weird. She says something about not being sure if it's a good idea to start anything because we're both very busy and wouldn't have the time for a relationship. I deflect this by basically saying let's not get ahead of ourselves, I asked you on one date, not to be my gf. I might not even like you, why not worry about logistics until necessary? She agrees, apologizes for apparently having a habit of 'overthinking'.
Thursday night, she goes out with some friends for a party and apparently gets way too drunk. I stay at home because I had some work to finish, but I see her on msn after her party, she starts talking to me, very affectionate but obviously indeed super drunk (she webcammed and couldn't even sit straight). I ask if she's going to be feeling good enough for our date tomorrow and as drunk people are prone to do she assures me she'll be fine. I go to sleep, wake up around 11 am. Big surprise, she flaked. However, I am not too surprised as after yesterday she probably felt like absolute ****, and she genuinely seemed to feel bad about having to cancel. She sent me a text at 7 am saying now that she's sobered up she feels terrible, then another one at 11 am when I didn't respond, and wrote on my Facebook wall. Whatever, I had backup plans with some friends anyway, just do those instead.
She was going camping for the weekend so we don't talk again until Sunday evening. I'm not doing too much because it's Sunday evening, but it's a gorgeous day outside, so I ask if she wants to come for a walk. She agrees, again enthusiastically. Keep in mind this is actually the first time we've hung out in person in years since HS. We walk and talk, not my A game but pretty good conversation. She seems interested, but unfortunately I don't have a good opportunity to go for a kiss.
Next few days we chat a few times, usually she initiates, good fun conversations.
Tuesday night after I get back from the gym, she asks if I want to get a slushie from this place near our houses (we live about 3 minutes apart, pretty handy). It's late and I'm bored, so I go since it's supposed to be quick. Slushies turn into a walk, which turn into coming over to my house to chill for a bit and watch half a movie. This leads to tons of kino (she's receptive and initiating quite a bit of it), half a movie ends up being a movie and a half. Now, I try to move my hand down her pants and she says that's a bad idea (period), however, without me asking, she proceeds to go down mine, and give me head. Again, this was entirely her initiative. After we're done I drop her off at home, kiss good night, before I even get home I get a text saying "muah", apparently high interest right?
That night was spur of the moment though, we had actual plans previously to hang out the next day, but I tell her I dont have much time (exams) so lets just do a quick date instead of a long hangout and suggest minigolf. She rejects minigolf and says she can wait and is tired anyway (understandable, she was at my house till 4 am, had class at 8:30). She messages me late at night again to get slushies, but I'm too busy and refuse.
For the next few days we're too busy to hang out or talk much, but briefly discuss hanging out Saturday night. Yesterday we talk briefly, she was going out again, invited me to come with her friends but I couldn't.
Then today, I get this text "You're busy and I'm swamped. I'm thinking whatever this is, we can't make it good, and I'm starting to stress over exams. How was your exam?"
And I really don't understand. If she's not interested, then why was she so receptive, why did she invite me to hang out multiple times, show affection, compliment "You have a really hot body/smell amazing, etc", respond physically, and give me head of her own initiative?
If she is interested, then what the hell is this? Yes we're rather busy at the moment, but exams are temporary, and even know we're managing to see each other once or twice a week.
What is her problem, and what am I doing wrong? Should I just wait until we are done exams and hit her up then? Back off and let her chase? Deflect it like I did the first time she said it?
As for what I want from her, I would be fine with either GF or just FWB. Please help.
**I know it's long, but I think most of the details are important. The short version is, I've recently reconnected with a girl. She seems interested in me (makes conversation, agrees to dates, kino, gave me head without even asking, etc) but has twice said we shouldn't proceed because we're both 'too busy for it to work'.**
There's this girl, lets call her Sam. I went to high school with her, but she was a year younger, so I only ever had one class with her. We are facebook friends from years ago but honestly I had forgotten who she was. About 2 weeks ago I was bored, saw her online, and randomly messaged her. She responded, seemed pretty cool, got her phone number and msn. Chatted a bit more, than invited her out to a date for Good Friday since we had the day off and neither had plans. I didn't literally say 'date' but I thought it was pretty obvious. She agreed, apparently enthusiastically.
A few days later, we're talking again, and she asks "So we're just going to be hanging out right, it's not a date?" I figure this is a test or maybe I wasn't clear, so I just tell her that yes it's going to be a date, problem? This is where it got a bit weird. She says something about not being sure if it's a good idea to start anything because we're both very busy and wouldn't have the time for a relationship. I deflect this by basically saying let's not get ahead of ourselves, I asked you on one date, not to be my gf. I might not even like you, why not worry about logistics until necessary? She agrees, apologizes for apparently having a habit of 'overthinking'.
Thursday night, she goes out with some friends for a party and apparently gets way too drunk. I stay at home because I had some work to finish, but I see her on msn after her party, she starts talking to me, very affectionate but obviously indeed super drunk (she webcammed and couldn't even sit straight). I ask if she's going to be feeling good enough for our date tomorrow and as drunk people are prone to do she assures me she'll be fine. I go to sleep, wake up around 11 am. Big surprise, she flaked. However, I am not too surprised as after yesterday she probably felt like absolute ****, and she genuinely seemed to feel bad about having to cancel. She sent me a text at 7 am saying now that she's sobered up she feels terrible, then another one at 11 am when I didn't respond, and wrote on my Facebook wall. Whatever, I had backup plans with some friends anyway, just do those instead.
She was going camping for the weekend so we don't talk again until Sunday evening. I'm not doing too much because it's Sunday evening, but it's a gorgeous day outside, so I ask if she wants to come for a walk. She agrees, again enthusiastically. Keep in mind this is actually the first time we've hung out in person in years since HS. We walk and talk, not my A game but pretty good conversation. She seems interested, but unfortunately I don't have a good opportunity to go for a kiss.
Next few days we chat a few times, usually she initiates, good fun conversations.
Tuesday night after I get back from the gym, she asks if I want to get a slushie from this place near our houses (we live about 3 minutes apart, pretty handy). It's late and I'm bored, so I go since it's supposed to be quick. Slushies turn into a walk, which turn into coming over to my house to chill for a bit and watch half a movie. This leads to tons of kino (she's receptive and initiating quite a bit of it), half a movie ends up being a movie and a half. Now, I try to move my hand down her pants and she says that's a bad idea (period), however, without me asking, she proceeds to go down mine, and give me head. Again, this was entirely her initiative. After we're done I drop her off at home, kiss good night, before I even get home I get a text saying "muah", apparently high interest right?
That night was spur of the moment though, we had actual plans previously to hang out the next day, but I tell her I dont have much time (exams) so lets just do a quick date instead of a long hangout and suggest minigolf. She rejects minigolf and says she can wait and is tired anyway (understandable, she was at my house till 4 am, had class at 8:30). She messages me late at night again to get slushies, but I'm too busy and refuse.
For the next few days we're too busy to hang out or talk much, but briefly discuss hanging out Saturday night. Yesterday we talk briefly, she was going out again, invited me to come with her friends but I couldn't.
Then today, I get this text "You're busy and I'm swamped. I'm thinking whatever this is, we can't make it good, and I'm starting to stress over exams. How was your exam?"
And I really don't understand. If she's not interested, then why was she so receptive, why did she invite me to hang out multiple times, show affection, compliment "You have a really hot body/smell amazing, etc", respond physically, and give me head of her own initiative?
If she is interested, then what the hell is this? Yes we're rather busy at the moment, but exams are temporary, and even know we're managing to see each other once or twice a week.
What is her problem, and what am I doing wrong? Should I just wait until we are done exams and hit her up then? Back off and let her chase? Deflect it like I did the first time she said it?
As for what I want from her, I would be fine with either GF or just FWB. Please help.
