[Need Advice] She seems really attracted to me all these dates but...

[mastermen]

Went out with this girl 4 times. We are from a conservative culture.

she showed high interest, always brushing up against me, laughing at anything I say, touch me, punch me, smell me, moving her face really close, she also acted really dopey when with me, buy me snacks from her trip, initiate text and compliment me. She usually counteroffer another date if she couldnt make it the day I ask.

This time I ask her for movie, she say as her master degree is starting and she has to work full time while study the whole weekend, she think she may not be able to make it this week, and she say sorry and will let me know when she has time. She did mention during our date that once her school start she is gonna be very busy.

However, since she hasnt counteroffer me a specific date this time, I am a little negative about it.

What would you guys think?

 

[Calum Tingham]

Mastermen,

You need to relax.

Remember the rule: Don't take anything too seriously.

Perhaps she's blowing you off, perhaps she's telling the truth.
The only way to find out is to agree, let her off the hook and then invite her out again later.

If she does the same thing on the second invite. She turned cold.

Maybe "I'm going to busy when school starts," meant; "I want sex with you before I go back to school."

 

[Igetit!]

Went out with this girl 4 times.

So you two have gone out 4 times. Ok,question.....

Have you two been sexual yet? That can be actual sex...or things leading up to it. If nothing sexual is (or has) gone on,if there's been no escalation or progression from date 1 til now,her interest likely has taken a hit. I know you said you two are both from a conservative background,but conservative doesn't mean not having sexual desires and urges.

You can't just go out repeatedly without there being some advancement sexually. Otherwise,you're gonna end up friendzoned,and she'll just find someone else who'll make her wet and get things moving. Even if she is conservative,you're better off trying something and getting rejected than repeatedly going out and trying nothing at all.

she showed high interest, always brushing up against me, laughing at anything I say, touch me, punch me, smell me, moving her face really close, she also acted really dopey when with me, buy me snacks from her trip, initiate text and compliment me. She usually counteroffer another date if she couldnt make it the day I ask.

That's a LOT from her....you just rattled off like 8 different signs of interest...on her part. Now.....how have you been showing your interest to her...besides just asking her out? You named 8 for her....what all have you done? You compliment her? Try to kiss her? Grab her boob?....touch her azz?

This time I ask her for movie, she say as her master degree is starting and she has to work full time while study the whole weekend, she think she may not be able to make it this week, and she say sorry and will let me know when she has time. She did mention during our date that once her school start she is gonna be very busy.

This,in layman's terms...is HORSESH1T. To go from all this.....

"she showed high interest, always brushing up against me, laughing at anything I say, touch me, punch me, smell me, moving her face really close, she also acted really dopey when with me, buy me snacks from her trip, initiate text and compliment me. She usually counteroffer another date if she couldnt make it the day I ask."

to this....

"she say as her master degree is starting and she has to work full time while study the whole weekend, she think she may not be able to make it this week, and she say sorry and will let me know when she has time. She did mention during our date that once her school start she is gonna be very busy"

is HORSESH1T. Question.....

She said she's gonna start working full time,study for a WHOLE weekend,and said she'll let you know when she has time. Ok,so....has her behavior changed? All that stuff she was doing before....

brushing up against you
laughing at what you say
touching you smelling you,moving her face close to you
complimenting you...buying you snacks...MAKING A COUNTEROFFER if she couldn't make it the day you suggested....

Is she still doing all that NOW....or is all that gone and has been replaced by "I'm busy" and "I'll let you know"???

What would you guys think?

Well...if you haven't done or even tried to do anything sexual with her after 4 dates,she probably thinks you're not interested in her sexually......and instead of wasting time going out on more NONSEXUAL dates,she met someone else who turns her on and who's actually made some sort of move on her.

The whole "I'm busy/I'll let you know" thing is BS......she's not busy,and I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you on the whole "I'll let you know" thing.

 

[Bayne05]

This time you should've invited her over to YOUR place for a movie. By the 4th date you should've been sexually escalating like crazy. And you didn't mention kissing her in any of the 4 dates. You thought 4 dates of 0 escalation will give her tingles? Well you did the opposite, that pvssy is bone dry and that's how you end up in the friendzone brother.
Your move is to invite her over. You've done enough chit-chat, it's now time to do some plumbing.

 

[RangerMIke]

You have to try and make a move, it's her job to push you back until she is ready. But women can not feel attraction for a man unless they believe at some level the man wants her sexually. They are not like us. We can feel attraction based on looks, and all we have to know is that the woman looks good, women do not operate that way.

 

[Von]

Advice above are 100% true.

Also do you have other options? It's important to know because maybe you got scared of losing her?

Conservative background and showing you THAT MUCH signs of interest was clearly a Go! and she gave you 4 tries with likely a deadline.

No matter the background, a girl can show you an open path to her goods. She'll just want you to be man enough to respond. She might have been raised conversative but she was really active in pushing you to take her.

You being afraid of making a move killed her desire... now maybe she has another guy in her arms/bed or simply lost her interest.

Next time when you have a girl showing that much interest... forget the background, forget your fears, you have the GO.

You'll feel better doing something than doing nothing.

Here's 3 cases of my ''conservative dating''

1) Girl 1: Did all what the OP said... showed signs, asked me out etc.... so what I did? First date kiss her, take her back to my place... she was not confortable at my place but we kissed and I drop her at her car..... Now I went NC for 2 weeks due to work... she wrote me '' I thought about our night, you have amazing kiss etc... but we going the evil way, I want to go slow''.... So I wrote her : '' NP, remember I want things to go slow and been busy with work''... I cooled down the situation, never saw her again, and have to admit the ''evil way'' comment scared me... However... that was a conservative girl... kiss closed the first... asked her out to a dinner at a restaurant after.. why she rejected me ? Simple : She thought I played her, cause I dissapeared for 2 weeks... (works reasons made me dissapear) and she wanted to know if I wouldn't try to bang her again right there. She went high to low... because I didn't ask her again fast I guess

2) Girl 2: From a conservative background, told me people in her culture, just meet date and than become GF/Boyfriend... She said she had 3 LTR, made allusion to me and some traits of exs. I never tried to kiss close or other... because from what I saw... even Married couple don't kiss in public.... I am taking slow like you. We had 1 meetup, 1 date (she invited to join her a her place, meet the roomate etc)... the date ended she rubbed herself on me... I reinvited her, she mentionned having family over so she can't, fews days latre I send her bday wishes and a joke..than went NC .. now its been 2 weeks since last date. Reinvited her to a bar.... she insta-replies (sign of interest) saying she's working during the, having friends visiting for the week-end she'll ask them (for free time I guess or to join us) and will let me know. I wrote: Sounds good, btw I heard monday is a national holiday, so you don't work

Will girl 2 give me news? I doubt it... since she needs ''to coordinate with her friends''... maybe I lost my opening if I had one, maybe the last time I should have escalated, or invited her to a date again, or she was never into it (or lost interest)

Now it's been 1 day, no news.... I am expecting a reply? Nope from experience they don't get back to you.

My action: Don't act piss, will reinvite her to another date in 1 week ... if she flakes... than bye

3) Girl 3: Conservative background, I escalate at her place when we were alone, touched her on the 2-3rd date.... kiss closed later... I wasn't scared or thought about culture... Result: 5 years of LTR

In short, no matter the background the culture... A girl like your OP girl... you had to escalate!.... other conservative might have taken more time or you might have needed to create an opening for escalation... but in your case... you had it but you didn't take it.

Remember, when you start doubting or thinking... it's when you lose... act like nothing can go wrong, that you don't care the results... and you might have what you wish for.

It's always case by case, but your frame will increase the odds and experience too.

 

[mastermen]

Thanks for all the replies!
A little background: In our culture, people hold hands when they become official, and they kiss after that, and sex comes after maybe 6 months to 1 year.... thats how conservative I am talking about

I learn from you guys that I have to escalate, I will try to be more aggressive next time. This time I gave her a few taps on her shoulder, and compliments her on her small foot and hands..etc, showing affection thru my eyes, thats how I showed interest this time I guess. From what I read from other sources (Doc Love), it says you should let the woman touch you to gauge how interest she is, and that you can never move too slow with a woman, you can only move too fast and crash onto a wall..

From the fourth date, she was showing higher interest than the past three dates, and then when we got back home and text a few lines, she is still hot for it. Then I ask her out the next day and got the reply above.