"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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need advice salsa dancing

esev8

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Hi guys have been reading for a while, and now i have a question i need your help!

Ok Yesterday i went to my first salsa lesson i´m a complete noob. I loved it and the atmosphere was great, I was very easy going i didn´t want to come off as needy or pushy i was just interested in learning and keeeping a good posture (I´m quite big 6´2 280 pounds) I think the girls liked my size because most guys there where smaller.
Anyways it was great I loved it and I´m glad i went there. Plenty of HB which is good for me since i do BJJ and its full of guys and the girls at salsa where nice and sweet not like the BJJ teammates.

Here is my question, the teacher invited me this saturday to a casual dinner at the academy and then a dance at a salsa ballrooom that we will go all together in a bus. At first I said oh thats cool i think i can make it.
But now on second thoughts I´m not sure if i should go this saturday, I really don´t want to **** it up and maybe is too early for me to go there and I don´t know anyone there, I haven´t DMHV, most girls there know each other and talk i don´t want to **** it up or seem desperate, i still suck at dancing but on the other hand i would love to go and see how it goes... I´m confused and i would really love to hear your point of view!
Should I go this saturday or is better to wait a bit longer?????
BTW i am kinda desperate for a sexy nice girl, dated an HB8 two months ago we broke up but she was too crazy/psycho for me, we wouldnt have lasted anyways and i have a couple of latinas HB5 that i don´t want to bang because i want to get better quality *****!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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mrgoodstuff

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Hi guys have been reading for a while, and now i have a question i need your help!

Ok Yesterday i went to my first salsa lesson i´m a complete noob. I loved it and the atmosphere was great, I was very easy going i didn´t want to come off as needy or pushy i was just interested in learning and keeeping a good posture (I´m quite big 6´2 280 pounds) I think the girls liked my size because most guys there where smaller.
Anyways it was great I loved it and I´m glad i went there. Plenty of HB which is good for me since i do BJJ and its full of guys and the girls at salsa where nice and sweet not like the BJJ teammates.

Here is my question, the teacher invited me this saturday to a casual dinner at the academy and then a dance at a salsa ballrooom that we will go all together in a bus. At first I said oh thats cool i think i can make it.
But now on second thoughts I´m not sure if i should go this saturday, I really don´t want to **** it up and maybe is too early for me to go there and I don´t know anyone there, I haven´t DMHV, most girls there know each other and talk i don´t want to **** it up or seem desperate, i still suck at dancing but on the other hand i would love to go and see how it goes... I´m confused and i would really love to hear your point of view!
Should I go this saturday or is better to wait a bit longer?????
BTW i am kinda desperate for a sexy nice girl, dated an HB8 two months ago we broke up but she was too crazy/psycho for me, we wouldnt have lasted anyways and i have a couple of latinas HB5 that i don´t want to bang because i want to get better quality *****!
Your a big guy. Many of us around 6'1-6'3 feel 210 is a better "player" weight. Large enough to defend yourself and have strength, light enough to move around. Plus it looks better naked and in clothes. I'm sure you carry yourself well.
 

mrgoodstuff

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If your gonna make mistakes in Salsa, the classroom is the perfect place. I wouldn't go into the club till I have my footwork down and half a dozen turns. Also the class is VERY fun. It's fun to be close to these ladies dancing with a real man. It's also great physical fitness.
 

esev8

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Your a big guy. Many of us around 6'1-6'3 feel 210 is a better "player" weight. Large enough to defend yourself and have strength, light enough to move around. Plus it looks better naked and in clothes. I'm sure you carry yourself well.
Hi! Yeah I agree with you on the weight, I would love to be around 210-230 I´m having a hard time losing weight and recently went on a strict diet without any alcohol until christmas! Even though i carry myself well like you said 210 Is better in every way!
I´m just not sure if i should go on Saturday to try and get a girl or be patient and wait for a better opportunity and DMHV
 

mrgoodstuff

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Hi! Yeah I agree with you on the weight, I would love to be around 210-230 I´m having a hard time losing weight and recently went on a strict diet without any alcohol until christmas! Even though i carry myself well like you said 210 Is better in every way!
I´m just not sure if i should go on Saturday to try and get a girl or be patient and wait for a better opportunity and DMHV
Don't go in there to try and get anyone. Just go in and have fun. Some of the women will like your attention and naturally gravitate towards you. Don't pursue them. Just have fun in there.

Those classes are setup so the group or parts of the group will end out in the club at a later time. People have a positive and receptive attitude in there normally, so be approachable.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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pyros

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it depends on your personality.

If you're ver outgoing and you can start conversations with strangers, then go and have fun.
If you're not that outgoing, just wait until you're comfortable talking with a couple of people from your class.

P.S.
You're too fat.
Don't start any stric diets, it is the sure way to fail.
Start with flexible diet, decreasing your daily kcalories around 400 kcals, and once you stop losing fat, decrease your daily kcals a bit more. Repeat the cycle.
 

Afrei

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I wouldn't hit on anyone at the salsa class, I'll just wait It out to see where the cards may fell, if a girl get interested in you believe me she will let you know ....also salsa is one of the hardest dance you will learn, so don't get discourage when it gets tough, it took me almost a year to master the steps, rhythm and turns and I'm 100% latino. If you manage to stick it out believe me the benefits are endless. Dancing is a very powerful seduction tool
 

Mike32ct

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I do ballroom. The way I see it, here is the dilemma.... On one hand, it was nice of the teacher to invite you to these events, and showing up will earn you some brownie points with the teacher. (Don't underestimate the importance of being one their favorites if you are serious about getting really good at dance.). On the other hand, you aren't ready to impress any ladies there with your dancing because you are new to it. As someone else said, it's better to make mistakes in class than at a dance.

If the teacher didn't ask you, I wouldn't go until you have more experience. But since they did, go and keep it simple. Do a basic step and one type of turn. You don't have to dance every song. Maybe "cherry pick" a few of the songs that aren't super fast.

Make your appearance, socialize, dance a few songs (keeping it simple), and slip out the door.

Do some practicing tonight at home in front of mirror with some music going.
 

Huffman

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If you'll be in that same class for a while, you can actually go and socialize without "hitting" on anybody. A little innocent flirt if you get the chance but that's it. You can genuinely enter a social circle here and reap the fruits in the months to come.

Any (ok dressed) guy in a dancing class will not get LJBFd that easily. At the party, you can ask basically any girls (starting with anybody you know) to dance (let's have one dance, I'm a beginner but let's give it a go).

I went to a Forró tryout class (was also invited by a friend), had only 30min course and later asked 5 HOT girls to dance - none of them judged me for my noob skills, I told them straight out. One ended up teaching me a bit even. Another I was able to take to the bar and get a number.
 

Huffman

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Your weapon no.1 to be NOT a creep: I know (teacher), she invited me. Just "know" and "be here" with 1-2 people whom everybody knows, and -BAM- you are accepted.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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esev8

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Thanks for your input!! Really nice comments I really appreciate it sosuave!
The teacher who asked me to come he´s a guy btw, but is not the point.
I have been thinking about saturday night and i have higher chances of fvcking things up if i go to the party than if i say i can´t make it and stick to the classes and trying to be DMHV so i could go to the next party, i don´t want to give any vibe that i have nothing better to do this saturday than going to their party and i would like to play this social circle a bit better than fvck it up on saturday for any reason and get demotivated! I think that the girls in salsa dancing are classier and have more things going in their lives (more normal, apparently less crazy/psycho) than the girls im used to dating.
 

esev8

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You can genuinely enter a social circle here and reap the fruits in the months to come.

Any (ok dressed) guy in a dancing class will not get LJBFd that easily. At the party, you can ask basically any girls (starting with anybody you know) to dance (let's have one dance, I'm a beginner but let's give it a go).
I went to a Forró tryout class (was also invited by a friend), had only 30min course and later asked 5 HOT girls to dance - none of them judged me for my noob skills, I told them straight out. One ended up teaching me a bit even. Another I was able to take to the bar and get a number.
I agree it´s a very nice social circle!
I was surprised how nice the girls treated me and they felt so kind!
 

blind_one

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Solid points everyone. Just relax and try to learn from it. Cause that is the point of that outing right ?
Practice dancing and have fun while at the same time socializing with the group. Nothing less nothing more, flow like water and notice opportunities.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I agree it´s a very nice social circle!
I was surprised how nice the girls treated me and they felt so kind!
I was trying to tell you. It's too easy. Just lay back. Girls will pick you out over time. Be one of the better dressers in there, also drop some weight.
 

Masculinity

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Not trying to "screw things up" is ironically a way to screw things up. I would go to the event. What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you? And what's the best that can happen? I think you have more to gain than to lose.

Also, be careful when you're dealing with business women. Some will use flirtation and even give you their number just to sell.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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esev8

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Not trying to "screw things up" is ironically a way to screw things up. I would go to the event. What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you? And what's the best that can happen? I think you have more to gain than to lose.
.
I know I´m looking too much into it but this social circle is very important for me and i want to do things right from the begininig no chump mistakes you know hehe!!
Is not like i have a date. I´m probably not going to go this saturday because my lower back hurts from BJJ and i want to be more comfortable with this people i don´t want to come off as pushy or needy!
 
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