"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need advice - Psycho situation

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dj148

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Hey guys, I need some advice on what to do about a potentially bad situation.

Quick background - Me and my gf have dated seriously for 2 years, I lied to her about something, and she broke up with me saying she has trust issues and doesn't feel she can trust me. Now we are seeing each other again and things are moving ahead very well, and there is a good chance we can work out our issues.

During the breakup, I confided a lot to a female co-worker who was "there for me" and basically let me dump my emotional toxic waste to her. I went over to her place one time to walk my dogs so I could unload my feelings. Other than that, I only see her at work. We do grab lunch from fast food joints a lot during lunch hour, and have been to an office happy hour after work.

Well today we go to grab some lunch and I mention that things are going better with the ex-gf, and that I think we will get back together. Psycho-girl goes ape**** on me saying how I have led her on, and that she is in love with me, and threatens to call up my ex and say that I cheated on her with psycho-girl.

What the F should I do? I am not 100% sure that psycho-girl will really do this, but I don't want to hide anything from my ex (nor be accused of hiding anything). Especially now that things are going well, and also because of past trust issues. I don't want this to blow up in my face, especially when I never did anything in the first place.

what do i do?

-Brian

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Edit: Psycho-girl has been saying she will quit the job for the past couple months, so she is definitely capable of going out in a blaze of glory.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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R

ready123

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go tell your ex all this before she does

and cut off the crazy btch
 
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WC2

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Obviously this co-worker of yours is psycho. And the last thing you want is to deal with a psychotic girl.

If you really do think things are getting better with the ex, I'd say you tell this other girl to get lost.. nicely.

As far as her telling your ex about anything.. make sure you get to your ex first. Let her know that you've been talking to some girl at work while you two were on break and that you have nothing to hide. Tell her that this is really a test to see if she trusts you. If you go about it the right way, she will most likely understand (if she does really love you).

good luck
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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I'm with the other guys about telling your girl but I'd consider telling her in such a way that you're asking for her help to fend off the chick at work. This will only work if the two of you are really back together.
 
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dj148

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Thanks for the advice. I'll have a talk with her tonight and ask advice on how to deal with the situation, while letting her know I am telling her because I trust her and dont hide anything from her. Glad I posted here. I'll let you know how it goes.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dj148

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It went OK - She took it fairly well and gave me some good advice... to talk to the one cool boss we have there and let her know what's going on. make sure the boss knows what's up but not to tell anyone, that way if sh*t does hit the fan, I am covered.

After that, she did seem kind of like I held something from her - like I should have told her that psycho was interested in me before. She kind of turned it on me a little, but I said that I told her about it because I didn't want to hide anything, and that I wanted her advice on how to handle the situation. I hope it shows that I am being up front with her.

All in all, it went ok.

I'll post here again if any more drama ensues, which I'm sure it will.

-Brian
 
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