Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Need advice - Psycho situation

dj148

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Hey guys, I need some advice on what to do about a potentially bad situation.

Quick background - Me and my gf have dated seriously for 2 years, I lied to her about something, and she broke up with me saying she has trust issues and doesn't feel she can trust me. Now we are seeing each other again and things are moving ahead very well, and there is a good chance we can work out our issues.

During the breakup, I confided a lot to a female co-worker who was "there for me" and basically let me dump my emotional toxic waste to her. I went over to her place one time to walk my dogs so I could unload my feelings. Other than that, I only see her at work. We do grab lunch from fast food joints a lot during lunch hour, and have been to an office happy hour after work.

Well today we go to grab some lunch and I mention that things are going better with the ex-gf, and that I think we will get back together. Psycho-girl goes ape**** on me saying how I have led her on, and that she is in love with me, and threatens to call up my ex and say that I cheated on her with psycho-girl.

What the F should I do? I am not 100% sure that psycho-girl will really do this, but I don't want to hide anything from my ex (nor be accused of hiding anything). Especially now that things are going well, and also because of past trust issues. I don't want this to blow up in my face, especially when I never did anything in the first place.

what do i do?

-Brian

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Edit: Psycho-girl has been saying she will quit the job for the past couple months, so she is definitely capable of going out in a blaze of glory.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ready123

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go tell your ex all this before she does

and cut off the crazy btch
 

WC2

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Obviously this co-worker of yours is psycho. And the last thing you want is to deal with a psychotic girl.

If you really do think things are getting better with the ex, I'd say you tell this other girl to get lost.. nicely.

As far as her telling your ex about anything.. make sure you get to your ex first. Let her know that you've been talking to some girl at work while you two were on break and that you have nothing to hide. Tell her that this is really a test to see if she trusts you. If you go about it the right way, she will most likely understand (if she does really love you).

good luck
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I'm with the other guys about telling your girl but I'd consider telling her in such a way that you're asking for her help to fend off the chick at work. This will only work if the two of you are really back together.
 

dj148

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Thanks for the advice. I'll have a talk with her tonight and ask advice on how to deal with the situation, while letting her know I am telling her because I trust her and dont hide anything from her. Glad I posted here. I'll let you know how it goes.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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dj148

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It went OK - She took it fairly well and gave me some good advice... to talk to the one cool boss we have there and let her know what's going on. make sure the boss knows what's up but not to tell anyone, that way if sh*t does hit the fan, I am covered.

After that, she did seem kind of like I held something from her - like I should have told her that psycho was interested in me before. She kind of turned it on me a little, but I said that I told her about it because I didn't want to hide anything, and that I wanted her advice on how to handle the situation. I hope it shows that I am being up front with her.

All in all, it went ok.

I'll post here again if any more drama ensues, which I'm sure it will.

-Brian
 
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