Need advice plz

[Mojo604]

I'll start with a little background info...
(this girl is my brother's friends younger sister- we all work at the same place in summer time)
I just started going out with a co-worker that I have worked with for 2 years (summertime only). In the first summer of work, we never talked, exept at the very end of the work season. Then this summer rolls around, and she looked in better shape to me than last time I saw her so I got to talkin to her alot. (btw we carpool with a few other people).
Anyways, on the last day of work I told her we should go out sometime, she seemed pretty happy about that, and she said we should go play pool that same night, made more plans for later in the week also right there.

Ok... shes 21. Im 20.

I've never had a gf...not really because I cant get one, but because im too picky for my own good and my time in highschool was **** cuz I was overweightup until my senior year roughly. My confidence was shot from being fat before so I would always sabotage myself whenever I got to talkin with a girl that liked me. I turned down a few girls that apporached me too...(hairy chicks...my school was mostly east indian). Anyways, I sabotaged myself plenty in the past from being AFC when it comes to dealing with girls, so I would stop trying altogether- which didnt help.

Anyways, this girl I like, she has had a very similar life as me, and we happen to have a lot in common, and we understand eachother most importantly. She has never had a boyfriend and is a virgin. So we are both pretty inexperienced when it comes to dating, ect. And from talking to her, I think she likes is this way and so do I. So I want this to work.

She drives and usually has one of her parents cars available to drive.
My license expired a while back and I have to do a few things before I can drive...the soonest I could drive is like 2 months.

So im having trouble trying to come up with things to do that wont involve her driving all the time and picking me up (did it once) lol...it feels wrong.
Watching a movie would work out...but theres no good movies out right now besides the ones I have seen. And I told her earlier in the week that we should see a movie this friday or saturday. On sunday she promised one of her girlfriends that she would go with her to watch 'the 40 yo virgin'.
So now I havent gone out with her since thursday night (played pool). And im wondering if I should be calling her to do something or if I should just not worry about it and do something next week?
I dont want to make the same mistakes Ive made before and let the girl lose interest because of my lack of experience with this kind of crap.

Also, shes Chinese and wants to take things slow (understadably) and so do I. So when going out I just want to keep things light for now.


Anyways, I hope this made sense...I probably forgot to mention some details so just ask. any kind of help or tip of some kind is appreciated, thanks.

Oh, BTW...Im not a complete noob around here. Im a RAFC and im a much much better than when I first came here. I am familiar with a lot of the major 'need-to-know' things around here. -- just incase someone thinks im one of those ubber nubs that dont bother reading anything.

 

[nishbuk]

Also, shes Chinese and wants to take things slow (understadably) and so do I. So when going out I just want to keep things light for now.

You know what this is in ******** right? I've seen this 4 times, including at the begining of my last LTR.

It means:

"You're a good insurance policy, but I don't want to get serious, in case something better comes along".

OR

"You're a good insurance policy, but I don't want to get serious, in case this other guy I'm trying date works out well"

So watch out. Her interest is NOT high right now.
When this happened to me, luckily I managed to raise her ineterst SKY HIGH on the first date, and when I was lying in her bed after the first date, lol, she confessed the second option above to me, and then said, "That thing is definitely over now, but I just wanted to be honest with you."
Lol, then unfortuantely for me, I failed to keep interest high around month 4, and then got dumped month 7. C'est la vie, nothing lasts for ever.

Listen man, it may be your first GF, but take it from me, DO NOT get into your first LTR (4 month plus) with girls that are giving signs of medium-low interest.

It will be MUCH easier for you if you date a bunch of chicks that aren't awesome, and have a bunch of 2-3 monthers and breakups, and THEN have an LTR when you've been emotionally conditioned enough.

Jumping straight into an LTR without prior experience will leave you in a crying heap on the floor when you break up. If this is your first, seriously don't get attached, but DO keep dating other women. Fight the one-i-tis!

Only start thinking about the LTR if this girl is like a goddess in both the physical, emotional, intellectual, and social areas, and she's all over your **** 24/7.

That's the advice I have for you. Keep it in perspective. You don't want war injuries that will take you much longer to recover from than they should, because you haven't conditioned your body.

 

[Mojo604]

Thx for the reply, man. But when I said she wants to take things slow, I never said that that is what she said- I just that thats what she wants because she is as inexperienced as I am. Also, shes not the type of chick to have guys lined up waiting to get with her, not because shes a monster or anything, shes actually quite alright physically and personality wise I think (hb7).
Also, from talking to her and stuff... I think her interest level is definetly not low or half-assed. Because shes given me all kinds of signs of interest, and I could tell that she was hoping that I would catch on.
About that 'taking things slow' thing I mentioned, like a lot of other things, there is a kind of anxiety involved when jumping into new things...thats how I personally feel, and since she is very much like me in this regard, that is why I said what I said.
Also, she isnt the type of girl to be all mushy & overly girly about showing interest. I already know she has interest..hell she has been beating to it when it comes to scheduling things we should do- so that part of the story is not really the problem here.

Oh, and about getting Oneitis and crying all the time after a breakup, Im not the type of guy to become completely crushed. I've always been emotionally cold when it comes to negative thigns.

 

[nishbuk]

Alright. You know the situation better than anyone else here can claim to , but women can do strange things to men's emotions, especially if you've never experienced it before.

Good luck!