Need advice: paternity

[R3dp1ll3d 4 L1f3]

I need some help figuring out the minefield of asking a girlfriend for a paternity test. It's not that I don't trust her, she's given me no reason to suspect infidelity. It's more so that I want to have closure for the rest of my life without causing her to break up with me and making my life a living hell if I wanna see my kid. Is there a way to game this without royally pissing her off? My instinct is to break it down logically that a woman will never feel that nagging doubt because the child is always theirs so they don't understand it but I know that's wrong.

 

[Stanley]

It's not that I don't trust her

You don't trust her otherwise you wouldn't post this here.

she's given me no reason to suspect infidelity. It's more so that I want to have closure for the rest of my life without causing her to break up with me and making my life a living hell if I wanna see my kid.

She apparently has given you reason since you need closure brother. No easy way around this. Don't know you're girl or situation, but you need to have an open conversation with her. Don't use logic on her, it won't work. Appeal to her emotions instead by expressing yours within reason. Indeed a minefield.

a woman will never feel that nagging doubt because the child is always theirs so they don't understand it but I know that's wrong.

It ain't wrong. Men and women are not the same. She cannot relate to male exclusive hardships and anxiety sources just as you cannot relate to her. This requires nuance and a 'light touch'. Have a conversation.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You don't trust her otherwise you wouldn't post this here.


She apparently has given you reason since you need closure brother. No easy way around this. Don't know you're girl or situation, but you need to have an open conversation with her. Don't use logic on her, it won't work. Appeal to her emotions instead by expressing yours within reason. Indeed a minefield.


It ain't wrong. Men and women are not the same. She cannot relate to male exclusive hardships and anxiety sources just as you cannot relate to her. This requires nuance and a 'light touch'. Have a conversation.

Exactly. If there’s a reason to suspect a need for the test ask straight up. If it’s not his kid then no problem, if it is his kid then it’s a very easy custody situation. If she declines it you get an attorney and you have the court compel her. She can’t just keep the kid away.

 

[SW15]

I believe every man needs to request a paternity test when he is claimed to be the father.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I believe every man needs to request a paternity test when he is claimed to be the father.

Yes but “how?” Is the question.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes but “how?” Is the question.

You stop providing financial support if she doesn’t do it.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The only way to do it without her finding out is to do a cheek swab on the newborn, then you and sending it in. You need to do it immediately and DO NKT ALLOW YOUR NAME TO BE PUT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE U TIL YOU DO. If you do it immediately, at least if you sue your way out of it there’s no presumption of you being the child’s adoptive father.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just do it. Don’t spend 25 years financially supporting a kid that ain’t yours.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Im not sold this isn’t a troll but let’s run the thought exercise anyway from an inverted point of view.

Imagine the kids yours and you want to prove it. Imagine she has this baby and you don’t find out until the birth certificate is stamped and you don’t think anything of it.

Imagine it’s your daughter you want to make sure is raised right. You’d want to make sure you’re a positive male presence in her life.

Maybe, like me, your also concerned that her mother doesn’t have good judgement and, as Chris Rock said “it’s your job to keep your daughter off the stripper pole”.

Would you think twice about it then?

Everyone knows a lawyer, somewhere. They’re a dime a dozen. Think about which one you know in life and ask them for some talking points to assert yourself.

 

[Macadellic]

Take a DNA when the baby is born.
Yes this is last resort your ace up your sleeve.

Before you sign anything at the hospital talk to the doctor and or nurses and ask for a DNA test.

Be ready for some pushback from the female narrative. Stand your ground and do not waiver.

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT A DNA TEST

 

[corsica]

Get information on how to do a paternity test when the baby is born. You're not going to stay with the woman 24/7, so figure how to get the DNA sample and do the test without her knowing.

If it's yours, enjoy being a father. Otherwise, dump the biotch and shame her publicly.