Need advice on what to do

[nestea16]

Hey i got a little bit of a situation. Theres this girl that I met about a month ago and I've really grown attracted to her, oneitis you could say. Im not out to go find multiple girls and screw them for I have had my fun and I would like to be with this girl in a LTR.

I think she might feel the same way with me however I am not good at reading signs and to make matters worse, she is a bit of a shy girl with not much of a past with guys, so Im told by a close friend. She always carries on conversations with me and we have danced a couple times at the club, and one time her friend even told me to go ask her to dance. I just don't know if she's into me for a relationship. Ill be seeing her at the bar this weekend and Im ready to make my move, should I just come out and tell her how I feel or what should I do? I haven't actually liked a girl like I do now for a few years even though Im a college freshmen.

One more point is that I will be knowing her for next few years and seeing her often because of mutual friends so if it doens't work out it may cause some complications.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Kevon]

They way I look at it, the two of you know eachother and are socializing with eachother. There is no reason to wait. If you wait, she might say no, or she might say yes. Either way you wasted time that you could have used to :

A: Move on
B: Develop your LTR

"You miss every shot you don't take"

 

[nestea16]

Any other advice?

Thanks in advance.

 

[yunghova35]

Originally posted by nestea16
Any other advice?

Thanks in advance.

have you READ anything here, the bible, the ten commandments ANYTHING????

I'm am so SICK of guy starting by say "she a shy girl and she doesnt have that much experience with guys" do you know that your making sum sorta excuse for her ALREADY. what the hell does that have to do with anything.

i swear like i said before read the bible and go to david d's site and get the ebook DOUBLE YOUR DATING.

 

[nestea16]

Yea, thanks for that useless advice bro, I've read the bible many times and have been on this site reading articles galore for many years. Ive also know for a fact that Ive banged many many more girls that you have and thats not my problem.

The fact of the matter is that I've never been in an LTR for the simple reason that I haven't wanted to but now I do and if I **** this up it's going to cause some complications in the future regarding mutual friends and what not.

 

[yunghova35]

Originally posted by nestea16
Hey i got a little bit of a situation. Theres this girl that I met about a month ago and I've really grown attracted to her, oneitis you could say.

If you have one-itis i doubt you have read anything, or you may have read it but did you PAY ATTENTION.

Originally posted by nestea16
I think she might feel the same way with me however I am not good at reading signs and to make matters worse,

and you say you've banged more chick than me huh, let me ask you this, IF you banged more chick than me WHY cant you solve you own problems?

and i really do think its silly saying "i banged more chicks than you" you dont know me so how can you possible image who or what i am or like when i'm not at this PC.

Originally posted by nestea16
she is a bit of a shy girl with not much of a past with guys, so Im told by a close friend. She always carries on conversations with me and we have danced a couple times at the club, and one time her friend even told me to go ask her to dance. I just don't know if she's into me for a relationship. Ill be seeing her at the bar this weekend and Im ready to make my move, should I just come out and tell her how I feel or what should I do? I haven't actually liked a girl like I do now for a few years even though Im a college freshmen.

One more point is that I will be knowing her for next few years and seeing her often because of mutual friends so if it doens't work out it may cause some complications.

Thanks for reading.

i understand the fact you want to seem like a big boy on this board but believe me when i give advice i'm not here to hurt you or even try and OUT alpha anyone. i give you advice, if you choose not to listen and find your situation gets worse its your own fault.

now another thing from what i can tell you have not slept with this girl yet, so let me ask you this HOW do you know and WHY do you want to LTR this girl if you never been with her sexual and really don't know her?

 

[nestea16]

I appreciate being given advice, but when its "read the bible, you havent learned anything" I don't consider that advice.

I can always tell when a girl is in to me, but not for a relationship. No i have not banged her and or done anything with her sexually but that's not what I'm after, Im in this for the long run, I can just see myself being with her for a long time and I love the qualities she possesses.

 

[yunghova35]

Originally posted by nestea16
I appreciate being given advice, but when its "read the bible, you havent learned anything" I don't consider that advice.

I can always tell when a girl is in to me, but not for a relationship. No i have not banged her and or done anything with her sexually but that's not what I'm after, Im in this for the long run, I can just see myself being with her for a long time and I love the qualities she possesses.

DAMNIT why, u never said WHY u think so highly of her when u dont **really** know her, have you been alone with her, have you spent that night with her. There is a method to my madness here.

 

[Freeman]

totally agree

Originally posted by nestea16
I appreciate being given advice, but when its "read the bible, you havent learned anything" I don't consider that advice.

I can always tell when a girl is in to me, but not for a relationship. No i have not banged her and or done anything with her sexually but that's not what I'm after, Im in this for the long run, I can just see myself being with her for a long time and I love the qualities she possesses.

If you actually want some help in your situation I give it to you: ASK HER OUT ON A DATE!!! Nothing big, nothing fancy just ask her out!

 

[Donald Kaufman]

you could try this

should I just come out and tell her how I feel

No

Later you claim

I've read the bible many times and have been on this site reading articles galore for many years

This is an oxy moron.

If somehow you have read the bible many times and have been reading this sight for years none of it has been comprehended. Not telling a girl how you feel has to be one of the #1 rules.

As to the rest of your question which seems to be, how do I find out if this girl wants an LTR without taking a chance, it's hard.

I believe the first thing you want to do is stop approaching this girl you know as a friend of a friend and as a shy girl as a potential LTR.

See her as a girl who is interesting and may be worthy of more of your time.

Get her number and get to know her by increasing the amount of time you see her.

Because you are probably near the border of the friend zone it is important to throw in some kino. When you talk to her on the phone be a little more formal then you would normally be. Ask her to go somewhere specific at a specific time. Be clear you are asking HER to go with YOU. Let her know that you will be there with her alone without saying it. During the initial meeting do something that signals a date. Go a little out of the way to hold a door for her or hold a chair out for her. Nothing big, just re-enforce the idea of a date without saying it.

Now that you have her somewhere get to know her. Use a little kino. Forget about an LTR, forget about the idea of sexual opportunities. Do whatever it is you do to have all the sex you have had, be charming, C+F, confident, whatever. Work harder on building rapport and worry less about sexual tension.

At the end of the date do your version of the kiss test.

If you get a negative response, it probably won't work out.

If you get no response, wait a little while and try again.

If you get a positive response, continue getting to know her and continue to escalate slowly. If she tries to speed it up, slow it down.

Wait at least 2 months until you really let yourself consider the possibility of an LTR.

This is the kind of prescription that is beyond most people's self control. Ideally, you should wait longer then 2 months, but I sense you won't make it to the end of this paragraph. A successful LTR takes self control and energy and work. The more you invest now the easier it will be to maintain later.