Need advice on the FWB (Friend with benefits)

[92 GSR-4]

First off I would like to thank everyone on this site, including the founders. Without it I would still be an AFC. Also, I would ask that those who do not have experience with FWB's stay off this thread, unless you seriously know what your talking about.

Ok. Finally I hooked a girl up on being a fvck buddy. I tried it last September only to cave and let the girl become my GF. Things of course weren't the way I wanted and I dumped her.

So THIS time I have been calling all the shots. A little background on me and my newfound fvckbuddy:

I've known her maybe 2 months. Wasn't entirely gaming her at first. Started off I just talked to her occasionally, until we went on a school trip together. When we were headed back to campus we really talked for about an hour. Next, since she lives close to me I drove her home cause she left her car a t a friends. So anyways, I played it cool, and slow. I could tell she was interested, since I started getting myspace messages and such over the 'net.

So I decided to get the # and invite her over to a friends for drinking and Xbox Live. She's a cool chick, came over, and we ended up making out on the couch that night. Before things got out of control I told her I didn't want it to get too far the first night (which turned to be the RIGHT move), since I didnt want her to regret anything. Also, I CLEARLY pointed out to her that neither of us (for reasons I wont go into) were in the position for a real relationship...so it would mostly be physical. Bingo, she agreed to it. We slept together that night (no fvcking). The next night I invited her over again to drink and party...and that night we ended up screwing our brains out. Thing is, we both agree that this is NOT a bf/gf relationship, even though we're catching lunch together..and tonight I'm going to a movie with her. I really like her and wouldn't mind her being my gf...except we just arent in the situation to be exclusive bf/gf...plus theres a girl in biology im talking to, so....

Now that I've outlined the situation...is there any advice I can get from you guys to help make sure this FWB relationship doesnt end too soon?

Also, heres some other questions I want to ask to see if others' relationships match the nature of mine:

How long into knowing/talking to her did it (f-close) occur?

How long did the relationship last?

What WAS your relationship with the other person?

What were the main themes or topics of your conversations?

What rules would you say were most important in the situation?

Thanks in advance!

 

[rocco]

get to the point, just ask the question.

 

[92 GSR-4]

hmmm somehow I think you should work on your reading comprehension.

Cut me a freakin break. This is my first FWB relationship. Not only that you offered no advice whatsoever. Are you always keyboard jockeying it up like this? Maybe boosting your post #'s lmao....looser.

On a more serious note though...this chick wants me as a full time boyfriend...just like the last girl did. We went to the movies tonight. Screwed around a bit...but she was really into cuddling up on me and kept saying things like "I just can't stop kissing you" and "you are sooo cute!". I'm like "WTF, I've never had a chick fall over me like this!" But I won't cave this time, and if she gets too demanding I may have to cut her loose. I just want to know how I can keep her distant enough to be a non-gf but close enough to....well fvck.

 

[ryannath]

Don't cuddle and all that...just fvck. If you fvck her good enough, she will want to keep fvcking you...yes, I have experience at that. You'll get IMs and smily faces and hearts and blushing faces and stuff like that.

 

[Docs]

She wants to be your girlfriend, so you don't be one. She'll go nuts on you.

 

[92 GSR-4]

Ok, Update.

I've been staying in touch with her during the week, and then we usually get together on the weekends to watch movies and of course screw around. Things are working well.

The only thing I've noticed is that she's still really into me...alot more than I am into her and it kind of annoys me. In fact, I'm starting to pass up opportunities to get laid...which I never would have imagined I would ever do. Last night she called to get me over and I lied and told her I had to help a friend with his car...and that I'd call her later. I didn't even call her back.

So today I texted her and she immediately called me. She's out of town this weekend so I'll have a break from her...but really I can't understand why she is so into me. She compliments me constantly and anytime I'm over at her house she is always trying to please me... I feel like she's a female AFC.

 

[md3sign]

Girls tend to go AFC after you fvck them unless they're complete hoes or are extremely attractive/know the game very well. I'm in a similar situation with one of my plates but I like the attention. I still only see her once a week, but that once a week is damn good. Nothing wrong with going out with a FWB to the movies. Thing is, most girls are NOT ok with a title like that - it makes them feel slvtty. A lot of them would prefer "dating", even if you're not exclusive (after all dating isn't exclusive - bf/gf are). So go get some food, maybe some ice cream, anything as a pretense to a good fvck. Throw some foreplay in there and she'll be all over you. In the end all that matters is that you're hittin it with only as much attachment as you want. The rest is details.

 

[Charm]

Girls tend to go AFC after you fvck them unless they're complete hoes or are extremely attractive/know the game very well. I'm in a similar situation with one of my plates but I like the attention. I still only see her once a week, but that once a week is damn good. Nothing wrong with going out with a FWB to the movies. Thing is, most girls are NOT ok with a title like that - it makes them feel slvtty. A lot of them would prefer "dating", even if you're not exclusive (after all dating isn't exclusive - bf/gf are). So go get some food, maybe some ice cream, anything as a pretense to a good fvck. Throw some foreplay in there and she'll be all over you. In the end all that matters is that you're hittin it with only as much attachment as you want. The rest is details.

This guy is obviously nailing it because he just nailed it again.

 

[92 GSR-4]

This guy is obviously nailing it because he just nailed it again.

Lmao charm I didn't understand that post!


But yea, she's not a slvt. The FWB is working out, and I made it clear to her (tactfully of course ) that we aren't bf/gf. She told me that's fine, but she wants me to let her know if I'm liking or fvcking someone else...which leads me to my next issue. I'm constantly gaming women I meet. It's almost natural now. I mean I dont get every number but damnit I try and at least plant a seed. Plus theres a really cute girl I've been gaming that I really would LOVE to date.

So I think thats what it is. I really dont like this chick enough to be her bf....and she's making me feel guilty for not telling her that I'm interested in someone else. Hell, I dont even tell her that I flirt with just about every attractive woman I come into contact with...