Need Advice on Kino'ing this Girl

[Jester090]

Is kino expected on the first date?

I've been out with this girl once. We went to dinner and the movies, but what sucked about these places was that they didn't lend any opportunity for kino whatsoever. And now i'm clueless as to where I could take her next. I know I could take her for ice cream, or an art show, etc. but these things don't seem like they would lend themselves to any sort of escalation and quite frankly I don't want to get LJBF'ed.

People tell me different things about kino: some say that it will just come naturally when you're comfortable enough with the girl (we've only been out once) and other people say you have to force the kino at the beginning. I'm confused but know for a fact that on our first date I felt very resistant to initiate any sort of kino because it just seemed like it would have been VERY awkward whether it was in the theater or during our walk back to the dorm.

The real problem is that this isn't one of those types of girls that make your job easy by holding your hand, touching your shoulder, etc. She laughs at just about everything and is constantly smiling, but she isn't really giving me any physical IOI's.

Any suggestions would be great.

 

[specialed]

come naturally?

it should always come naturally...period. it's not if you are comfy with the person...it's mearly are you comfy enough with yourself to have enough confidence to actually do it.

when is the right time? anytime is the right time....expecially first dates.

 

[unorthodox]

When you do it it has to come at the time when YOU are compfortable. That is, don't force it after a fvcking 5 minute pause!! You tell her something funny, put your hand on her. Walking to the movie, tell her anything, put your hand on her shoulder or over her waist, better yet do it anytime you go anywhere together. Dinner, don't lean, but you can touch her hand, extend your she will extend hers if not ask her to, touch her legs with yours. Movie, people made out and fvcking at the movies man.... Don't over think, when you over think you come off as wussy. Worst thing possible you touch her ass, she moves your hand higher, she won't use that papper spray on you man.

 

[blinkwatt]

~Your on a date about to cross a street,doesn't matter if it's busy with traffic;

bw;"Alright little lady these are some dangerous streets,I'm going to have to escort you across these!"(I hook arms and lead her across the street,half of the time they still lock after you cross).

~You are heading back to the car and you open her door. Put your hand on the small of her back as to guide her in.

~Now this is one I have done with chicks who were girlfriend material that I hold hands with often. When I drive my manual car,which they all know means alot to me,I put there hands on the gear knob under mine when driving,kind of like I'm guiding them shifting.

~Since I lift weights alot and am built girls like to give me a hard time as if I'm still 115 pounds;

hb;"Your weak,those muscles are fake./Ha I bet you couldn't even lift me!"
bw;"Ha,you keep talking,I pick you up and drop flat on your butt."
hb;"Ha you wish/yeah right/you wish you could."(It always one of those)
bw;(I just go over and pick them up and put them back in my lap if I think they are attractive)

-----Its up to you to find a way that works for you. From there you "fine-tune" it. Good luck!

 

[Jester090]

These are all good suggestions, but I just feel like it would seem very awkward and incongruent with me to do them (even when I picture it in my head). I keep imagining her looking at my hand when I put it on her shoulder or knowing that locking arms to cross the street is just a cheap excuse for me to touch her.

My mindframe needs to be corrected.

 

[unorthodox]

I recommend Double your Dating and all 13 other books by Devid DeAngelo, also his videos. Hmmm, huum, you're a wuss. I'll also post a thread here, titled "Getting agressive" or something like that.

 

[skip2mylou781]

my best kino trick - we need to cross a cuddle, and withotu hesitation, i pick her up and carry her over the puddle

result - isntant kino cuz im carrying her, she thinks im bold cuz i just did that outta the blue, and it makes her not think of me as a jerk

by the way, original poster - how the **** are there no opportunities to kino at the movies?????? are u PSYCHO?

 

[skip2mylou781]

best kino trick -we need to cross a PUDDLE** (bad typo there lol)

 

[Jester090]

Re:

Skip, If I can't even touch her on the shoulder, there's no way I could see myself just picking her up all of the sudden out of the blue.

As for kino'ing in the movie theater, I just feel like it would come across as very cheesy and inappropriate.

For example, let's say I was watching a movie like Fast and the Furious with her...nowhere in the movie would it seem to me like an appropriate time to put my arm around her, etc.!

I feel like she would just look at me and be like "WTF are you doing?? I'm trying to watch a movie and all of the sudden you're putting your arm around me??? Where did that come from??"

 

[unorthodox]

I posted a thread "Getting agressive - from nurdy wuss to gangster in 2 weeks" read it and do it. When you have the right combination of hormones in your body, your mind won't even be thinking BS like this.

 

[skip2mylou781]

Jester - when a girl says yes to movies with u, she WANTS that "cheesy" stuff such as putting ur arm around her and making out with her

do it during commercials, before the movie even starts

dont make it look liek your thinking about doing it, thats why do it right away! within the first 5 minutes of sitting down

 

[Jester090]

Jester - when a girl says yes to movies with u, she WANTS that "cheesy" stuff such as putting ur arm around her and making out with her

then how come I hear so many stories of guys getting pushed away, slapped, etc. when they try to bust a move??

or girls saying "NO X, I thought we were just friends"

How do I even know whether or not she's expecting me to make a move?? She shows no physical signs other than constantly laughing.

man, somewhere along the line my mental programming must have gotten really warped.

 

[skip2mylou781]

make sure she knows you're sexually interested beforehand, then she wont think you're JUST friends

 

[warpy]

Jester - when a girl says yes to movies with u, she WANTS that "cheesy" stuff such as putting ur arm around her and making out with her

do it during commercials, before the movie even starts

dont make it look liek your thinking about doing it, thats why do it right away! within the first 5 minutes of sitting down

starting the commercial, count to 60 and do it .

 

[specialed]

deep breath man...

you have clear confidence issues...

one thing i've always done is try things on my friends...guy or girl...just get get comfy with myself. they will obviously tell me like "what the **** are you doing" if i do something retarded that you shouldn't have. but the only time kino would be a BAD thing is if you do something creepy

she's obviously into you, stop bull****ting yourself and touch her. she isn't made of fire.

 

[dohta]

Do you have this kino problem with only this one girl?

But yea I think movies are easy kino places. The commercials in the beginning are a good time. If you think she'll push you away for touching her, then you need to make her feel more comfortable first.

 

[fertileTurtle]

I have a funny kino story. A few years back I ran into one of the hottest chicks in my school(who had a bf) who I wanted to hook up with for a long long time. She happened to be one of my sister's good friends and was also friends with my my girlfriend's (at the time) best friend. I saw the two sitting at a sidewalk cafe and said hi. At the time, I was really pissed at my girlfriend, so I didn't give a shhit, so I decided to try some "crazy" ****. :box:

I walked up to them, uttered a few bullshhit comments and then proceded to offer little miss sexy a ride home. She was like ok and then I put my arm around her like we were walking off into the sunset or something. I thought she'd get pissed and fuccking try to slap me. She put her arm around me too the same way I did hers. :woo: I was a real dumb*ss pot head at the time, so I rolled up a joint in front of her and started to smoke.

What the f*c*? She didn't care. At that point, I was so surprised she didn't care that I didn't try to hit on her. I just took her home and said bye.

 

[Lucas718]

If you don't touch her someone else will. And then it won't be long before you're home alone touching yourself wondering what the fvck happened.

 

[Jester090]

If I were to say (authoritatively) "give me your hand" while we were walking or in the movie theater, then just hold it and resume normal conversation, would this seem weird?? Or should I try this?

I feel that I've already expressed sexual interest verbally ("That's so cool-I love girls that are into art!") and she was just like "really?" So does that mean it's time to start kino?

And no, the problem is NOT just with this girl, it's with every girl--ugly or hot, doesn't really matter.