"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need advice on current situation

lolwut

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Me and this girl i'm interested in are around 25 years old, I am already a professional in my field and she is in the process of applying to professional school for my field.

We met at my workplace, she's sort of casually interning there. We've only been on shift together for a couple times. She bascially asks me to eat dinner with her 2 times. This is a food break during work sort thing not an actual dinner. She says she wants to ask me for interview advice when asking to eat with me.

I was about to move to another department and won't be seeing her there anymore so the 2nd time we eat, i ask for and get her #.

Next day she asks me to add her to facebook, the day after texts me casually, nonsexual but also nonwork related. So later this day I call her and ask her to get coffee together next week, i suggested a couple days, didn't work for her, then she suggested a day, but it didnt work for me. So i tell her maybe i'll call her next week again when I get my new schedule.

So the thing is when I asked her to get coffee, or when she asks me to eat together, she keeps mentioning wanting me to give her interview advice.

So the problem is I can't tell if she's interested or just want to befriend me to help her with interviews.

My options at this point are:
-call her next week and ask her to get coffee together again
-not call her unless she calls me 1st.

And if she does call me 1st and ask to get together so I can help her practice interviewing, should I accept and then try to game her and build attraction. Or make up an excuse / IOD?

I would be an AFC if i let her use me.
But I would also be an AFC if I IOD and basically pre-reject myself.

Thanks for help in advance
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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crazyboy

Senior Don Juan
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Maybe you can give her interviewing advise and be sexual and flirty. Also she may be saying that so you come talk with her and go out. Just go tout on the little 5 buck coffee date and judge from there. Also just call her to see the days she are available and see if you can match with your schelude and then you guys can get together. But always take charge of the situation.
 

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
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At the end of your post you mention that you would be an AFC if so and so etc etc; well let me start by saying you are an AFC because your afraid of rejection and therefore over-analyzing whether this girl is truly interested in you or what you have to offer.

Sounds a little harsh right?

Well I'm putting it to you that way so you will get into the mind set of a man who is consistently successful with women. Only AFC's analyze whether a girl who is giving clear buying signals is really interested in them.

In other words, always assume interest.

The other AFC thing your proposing is waiting on her to suggest getting together again. Now I'm not saying she won't possibly do that, but as a man, you go after what you want. Women want to be with a strong, confident man, not a guy who waits for the girl to take charge.

If you were a bull and this girl was a matador, imagine her waving a huge red flag in front of your face consistently and then wondering if she wants you to charge through the flag? Do you think that's something a bull would really even need to think about?

Didn't think so.

Stop over-analyzing a simple situation; call her up and set up a night out. She's clearly interested and even countered offered for the coffee, interested women don't do that. Instead they will make excuses, flake or cancel.

She clearly looks up to you and you can use that interview advice as a perfect opportunity to make things fun, sexual and flirty as Crazyboy already mentioned.

But whatever you do, don't decide that you are going to wait for her to initiate because it might not happen. Don't let opportunity pass you by.





PIMP
 

lolwut

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thanks for the replies

yes i am definitely still an AFC and actively learning and trying to improve.

my reason for not calling her for a while and seeing if she calls me is to not appear desperate

I guess i haven't fully understood the difference between "always assume interest and keep gaming forward" vs being desperate
 

SgtSplacker

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Arrange a get together, you may have to sacrifice something to make this happen don't let your schedule keep you two apart. And be sexual with her man, don't just act like you want to be friends. Let her know you are having fun with her, ask her out when you see her in person.

Easy mode: Ask her to go somewhere to have drinks together. Hopefully the interest will flourish when inhibitions lessen.

Hard mode: Try to build interest and DHV yourself to her. Brush up on interview tips online. Give her a great test interview and be cool about it. Mention the other women in your life. Neg her a bit, nothing too rough remember you work together. Talk about yourself but dont spill all the beans, be mysterious. Maybe tell her you have another female friend your meeting up with later and you have to go but that you should do this again. Suggest evening plans...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mantis Toboggan

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Pimp-sicle said:
At the end of your post you mention that you would be an AFC if so and so etc etc; well let me start by saying you are an AFC because your afraid of rejection and therefore over-analyzing whether this girl is truly interested in you or what you have to offer.

Sounds a little harsh right?

Listen to pimp.

You see all these potential negatives about this situation: "I can't tell if she's interested. It will be AFC if I help her."

If I were you, this is what I see: "Here's a good excuse to get this girl one-on-one."

Go meet up with her. Have some fun. Feel it out. Maybe she's not interested. Maybe she just wants advice. But if there's a 10% chance that she wants to f**k you, it's your job to find out.

So stop thinking and start doing.
 

Maximummax

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She will definetly come up with a list of things that she wants from you.
Interview questions or points or what ever
don't answer all of them and see her reaction in a day or two, at this point you will know whether she is interested or not, if she is you guys will go out or else you are loosing nothing.
 
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