Need advice on break/Breakup w/ GF

[j0504s]

It's not what I want the OP to do that matters. It's his life and his decision. I would just ensure that this girl had the medical attention she so clearly needs. I don't know what this girl suffers from, I am not a mental health expert, but there is something clearly amiss with this woman. She needs professional help.

I spoke to her therapist, and told her everything...she said she was sorry things ended this way...she also said she is more then aware of personality disorders and not to worry, but is not allowed to reveal any information to me. Then truly thanked me for having integirty and calling her. So i did everything i needed to do.....another issue is her father called me a couple times, idk he really wants me with her, I explained to him how i felt and what not. He spoke to me about some very peronsal things on how his wife has some crazy tendencies too, and to please atleast give him the benefit of the doubt and keep an open lines of communications, with me. Idk...but thats been whats going on besides me being still terribly hurt...thank god for good friends...

 

[perseverance]

I spoke to her therapist, and told her everything...she said she was sorry things ended this way...she also said she is more then aware of personality disorders and not to worry, but is not allowed to reveal any information to me. Then truly thanked me for having integirty and calling her. So i did everything i needed to do.....another issue is her father called me a couple times, idk he really wants me with her, I explained to him how i felt and what not. He spoke to me about some very peronsal things on how his wife has some crazy tendencies too, and to please atleast give him the benefit of the doubt and keep an open lines of communications, with me. Idk...but thats been whats going on besides me being still terribly hurt...thank god for good friends...

Kudos to you. You did the right thing in my eyes, when seeking professional help for this woman. Your decision is yours and yours alone. Her Father means well, he clearly knows what a great guy you are to call you and try and smooth things over. However it's all about what you want and if you don't want to get back with this girl, then stick with your decision. I don't think she deserves a decent fella like you, she needs help to become a better person, then maybe she'll start becoming relationship material.

 

[j0504s]

Kudos to you. You did the right thing in my eyes, when seeking professional help for this woman. Your decision is yours and yours alone. Her Father means well, he clearly knows what a great guy you are to call you and try and smooth things over. However it's all about what you want and if you don't want to get back with this girl, then stick with your decision. I don't think she deserves a decent fella like you, she needs help to become a better person, then maybe she'll start becoming relationship material.

I really appreciate that buddy, means alot. She just left me a Voice Message, yelling at me for calling her therapist, telling her about how she said she was scared to relapse and she wanted to die, but i said i dont think there is any truth behind it. she said in the message that her therapist said i was wrong for doing it and it wasnt my place?!?!? is this true or lies? I really thought i did the right thing?
also she was going nutz about her mom saying thta i said something to her, but all i said was thank you, and she expressed how said she was.....

Obviously i have thoughs of getting back togeather with her,d and honestly tim still in love with her.
But,
A. I really dont think she wants tooo?? maybe im wrong?????????
B. IDK if its whorth my sanity? do you guys think im totally insane if I did?
This may sound weak but im trying to be honest....

 

[Tiguere]

I really appreciate that buddy, means alot. She just left me a Voice Message, yelling at me for calling her therapist, telling her about how she said she was scared to relapse and she wanted to die, but i said i dont think there is any truth behind it. she said in the message that her therapist said i was wrong for doing it and it wasnt my place?!?!? is this true or lies? I really thought i did the right thing?
also she was going nutz about her mom saying thta i said something to her, but all i said was thank you, and she expressed how said she was.....

Obviously i have thoughs of getting back togeather with her,d and honestly tim still in love with her.
But,
A. I really dont think she wants tooo?? maybe im wrong?????????
B. IDK if its whorth my sanity? do you guys think im totally insane if I did?
This may sound weak but im trying to be honest....

its time to move on. there ia nothing else to say...everyone already told you everything. STOP.... MOVE ON

 

[dap]

Of course it hurts to break up, but it's part of moving forward. Naturally, you wish there was an easy solution (like just getting back together) that will make you feel good again. Everyone on here agrees that nothing good can come of staying in a BPD relationship. I think you should read this entire thread to help you understand how awful these relationships are: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199347

Start seeing other people and never look back.

 

[Ethernal]

'I need a break' = 'I would like to break up with you, but until I find something better, please be my backup.'

'Ive never been single/ I need sometime alone' = 'I need some time on my own to ride the c0ck carousel.'

This is so true, it's painful.

 

[perseverance]

its time to move on. there ia nothing else to say...everyone already told you everything. STOP.... MOVE ON

I concur with Tiguere.

I have realised that once a relationship has ended, it's best just to move on to pastures new.

You can get together as many times as you want, but in my experience it never lasts, the old problems creep back in and you're back to square one.

 

[CostaDeSol]

Hexagram had told you from the very beginning:

'I need a break' = 'I would like to break up with you, but until I find something better, please be my backup.'

'Ive never been single/ I need sometime alone' = 'I need some time on my own to ride the c0ck carousel.'

This chick has shown her true colours and has proven herself unworthy of your time. Your best bet is to go NC and focus on healing yourself. Its going to be tough initially, but its better than torturing yourself by being in limbo with her. You can be sure that she will suck the life out of you if you continue to be in contact.

You bringing up that issue had nothing to do with her reaction. This has been coming for a while, but you were to naive to see it. Learn to look out for red flags for the next time.

Time to move on to greener pastures bro.

to sum up:

1 . SHE said SHE wants a break - that should be a deal breaker for anyone

2. go no contact, Its going to be tough, but f it. lingering around her and her people is only unnecessary drama because you should be focusing on:

3. "Time to move on to greener pastures bro."

 

[j0504s]

Have been n/c for IDK 7 days now and this so ****ing hard man,
I have gone N/c On girls before with no problem but this one is driving me nutz...just thought Id update you guyss

Also i do not have facebook but my friend had told me yesterday it still says in a realtionship and has this joke about me Saying reffering to me and being in love with me, does this mean anything that she didnt go change this immidiatly? another friend also told me she saw her and she was upset and when he asked why she said b/c we broke up.... when he asked he was under the impression I did it, and so were a alot of other people when asking me.....im trying to move on its very very tough....according to my father who is a forensic Psychiatrist, he said BPD will call you at the eleventh hour. Meaning Just when they see you are moving on or they had some traumtic exprience on the rebound. He's just hoping by that point I'll be strong enough to not take her back...
I had a little glimpse of hope this weekend a friend had his girlfriend over my house with a couple of her friends, I reverted back to my alpha self, I literraly just didnt care and had no interest in hooking up with anohter girl at this point, I physically cant, Well reguardless, The girls told my friends girl that they wanted to hang out with me again and are pretty much both interested in me. I dont think I will get with these girls they are both Hb7-7.5 but Im not ready I'd like to try and heal the right way and not fill the void in some other chick. I will gradually try and play the field a bit, but im not going to lie, 50% of my day is consumed of thoughts, Projections creating sittuations, of what this girl is doing/or not doing. It was a relief to find out she was upset over this I thought she wasnt human for a second there, now is she upset b/c she feel she mad the wrong desccison or is she actually worried about me?? idk I may never get the answers im looking for...I just needed to Vent what was going on idk but again i am hurting.
this may sound nutz but im starting to belive the hotter the girl the crazyier they are I know this isnt fully true, but in my 25 years the top tier of women I have been with have been bat**** crazy, It maybe because thats what i attract idk

 

[CostaDeSol]

Stay strong OP.

Also i do not have facebook but my friend had told me yesterday it still says in a realtionship and has this joke about me Saying reffering to me and being in love with me, does this mean anything that she didnt go change this immidiatly? another friend also told me she saw her and she was upset and when he asked why she said b/c we broke up.... when he asked he was under the impression I did it, and so were a alot of other people when asking me.

sounds like she is playing the victim card to be on the good side of all this, so she can blame you for all HER problems. She is just being an AW to get people to feel sorry for her.

 

[j0504s]

Stay strong OP.



sounds like she is playing the victim card to be on the good side of all this, so she can blame you for all HER problems. She is just being an AW to get people to feel sorry for her.

I have to assume you are correct people didnt belive it b/c she was an overly obbsesed Girl friend literally days even hour before this happened.....
I guess i am convinced she prob is hooking up with another guy just b.c she really doesnt have many friends, I create sittuations in my mind and they are emtionally crippling, This girl really sucked the life out of me and continues tooo. I pray everyday multiple times a day that she is actually taking the help from her therapist and sober supports and not doing as I think. It is sad that I still have feelings for her N/C sucks but i know its the only way to get over this. I started working out again, I act like im happier then I am. I am trying. Imnot just going to fill the void and fu*k another chick b/c I need to heal in the correct fashion. Kanye said it best "That that dont kill me can only make me stronger"

 

[perseverance]

Time is a great healer, so pine for your loss, do whatever it takes to get this girl out of your system and then move on with your life.

Onwards and upwards is the only way, and remember life is quite short don't go wasting on stupid sh*t like this.

 

[j0504s]

After I puked last night (from hearing something of her possibly dating another guy already) (this has never happened to me before puke over a chick)

A very smart friend of mine brought this to my attention, and it blew my mind the way he looked at it, very smart guy for this.

he goes, When you start a relationship you make a deal. You are both getting something out of it. My part of the deal was to give her my undying love an affection 24-7 no matter what, her part was to create problems for helself so I would be always be like, everything will be ok babe blah blah, then fix it and comfort her (and i guess i had the fact i can call her mine??). What happened is I BROKE THE DEAL. I decided to get healthy do my work with therapists and through 12 steps. She did not. She wanted the deal we had made and when i started to change and grow she turned on me. The point of this is actually not what you guys think to prove im right or wrong, its not. Its to show WHO AM I to catch a resentment over this, I broke the deal she didnt I did...I wanted to get better be healthy have a succesful career help others in need of help have god embrass me and live his will in my life. she didnt. she wanted to stay sick, and thats it we didnt break up for anyother reason for I stopped providing her my part of the non verbal unspoken contract we made....She didnt sign up for what i wanted to become...a better person.

 

[j0504s]

After 2+ weeks of no contact, I receive a texton chirstmas "you should be here with me" she then texts me all these things dont let your parents run you life and I need to speak with u followed by 3 phone calls. I call her back after the 3rd. I was in NYC with my faimly as it was my father bday. before i went in to see Les mis the movie. Shes sweet talking me, Asking questions "Dont you miss having sex with me" "Dont you miss me" an eray of rediculous questions. The proceeds to tell me shes datin another guy who is 4 years youner then her. But she is still in love with me , but its complicated with the other guy and shes "confused" (my belief is b/c they work togeather shes afraid if she ever broke thins off it would **** up her job at the gym she works at) she said she loves me more then him but thye just started datin so she cant compare?? or osmethin? this doesnt make any sence. Then texts a picture of her and her dog all dressed up christmas/chanucha clothing. iddint respond to it. I told her i had to go and i wll call her later if i have time. I get home and call her. and shes tried ripping out of me what our one year anniv. was sopposed to be like I told her and she cried. she then said it was wrong of her to me and that her friend told her that. WTF MAN. I was a Rock on the phone call wtf wtf. it has been ****ing with me so much. she she also said I ddint buy her enough presents which is ****in rediculous....this kid bought her a lousivioton bag like week into seein her i spend mad money at tifffanys. this is just ****ing with me man...I also didnt talk any **** about the other guy i felt it would be "beta" to do so.

 

[CostaDeSol]

this is just ****ing with me man....

Everything she does is just Fncking with you. If a girl really liked you, she never would have told you she wanted to see other people. Now she is mentioning her lays to you? And you are listening? You really need to stop paying any attention to her.

If i was you, I would start focusing on other girls.

Initiate no contact now. Welcome back to Day 1.

 

[CostaDeSol]

Also, block her number. NOW.

 

[sadonomspa]

Seriously you need to start listening to all the guys on here.

Everyone who is telling you this stuff isn't gifted, they know and understand girls like this.

I started listening a few weeks ago, it sucks but everyone cannot be wrong. Her emotional guns are out full force.

 

[perseverance]

Also, block her number. NOW.

Or even better change mobile numbers. Treat yourself to an upgrade.

 

[dap]

After the third time in a row she called you, I think you could have been free. Had you not called her back, you may not have ever heard from her again and you could have moved on with your life and recovered. Instead, you called her back. Now you have to choose whether you want to remain miserable/in contact with her or restart no contact. My advice is to go NC again, to NOT break it, and to never look back.

 

[j0504s]

She is blocked now....ihate that I still have feelings for her its so dumb....