Need Advice on an Ex-Girlfriend

[Doctor()Stupid]

Long post so read and comment if you want. Ive put paragraph titles so you can skip through all the soap opera crap. Just trying to give all you professors some background.

ABOUT ME
Ive read this website off and on for over a year. Very fascinating and I have learned a lot from you guys on a lot of mistakes I've made in the past with girlfriends.

I know very well that you guys will curse me for saything this but I'm really not like a Don Juan. I dont really strive to be like you guys. Please note that I really do respect you. Your information is very valuable to guys who can get girls and guys who cant. Who cant benefit from advice. Anyone who doesnt ask for advice is just an idiot. This site is important to all of us men who can always use advice on women.

I average one girlfriend a year (see why I read your website, lol). But I'm pretty satisfied with my sexual life. I dont really need to have my phone filled with numbers. Im one of those guys that just loves to flirt with women. Girls that I like and even ugly girls I'd never date. I dont care I just like to flirt.

I need advice about and ex-girlfriend I had two years ago. I have a problem that I am simply stumped on.

BACKGROUND
I met this girl two years ago at one of those nighttime jobs you get when you just lost your professional job. It was just a job to pay the bills till I found another job.

This girl is 14 years younger than me. At the time she was barely 20. For some reason this kid fell head over heels for me. I refused to date her because of the age difference. And this girl is drop dead gorgious. She also had a boyfriend. For an agonizing two months of saying no, having her follow me around during break, flirting with me, on and on, I started to get to know her. I began to see signs of terrifying abuse from her boyfriend. Yup at this point I began to fall in love.

I have never cheated on any girlfriend. Nor have I ever dated a girl that has a boyfriend. Its strictly against my morals. Until I met her. Her boyfriend physically and sexually abused her. He was also on drugs. So finally I stepped in and put a stop to it.

Once I got him out of her life, there was no turning back. We dated and after three or four months I really fell for this kid. Yes I know its a mistake on this board.

Finally we had a bad break up. I was pretty torn up but I'm older and wise enough to let the the kid fly the coup. She had a terrible childhood and was a pretty messed up and confused kid. By the time we broke up, I managed to rub off on her and basically finish raising her. She was very abused since she was 12 years old, both sexually and physically (her step father shot her in the leg with a 357 when she was 13).

BACKGROUND ON HER
Know two things about this girl. 1. She was sexually abused as a child by her father. 2. She is a genius who was actually blackmailing her father for it when I met her. Her father is pretty influential in this town. And I cant stress enough that this girl is literally a genius.

MOVE ON
I moved to Portland and finally found me another professional job. I Fell in love with another girl for almost a year. But I wasnt near as in love with her as much as I was with the kid. Finally the economy hits and I get laid off. I decided to move back home (to work another one of those OMG I gotta pay the bills jobs). I work at a mall these days (I would highly recommend that to all of you reading this board by the way). Beautiful women are everywhere in malls!

I RUN INTO HER
Three weeks ago, sure enough, I’m outside smoking a cigarette at work and she is sitting in a car dropping someone off. She motions me over and talks to me. She even gave me that look. She stares in my eyes and I recognize that look she gave me when she last fell in love with me. Its one of those looks where nothing is said and the two of you just peer into each others souls. Of course she starts talking about her boyfriend and this is where you guys will cheer me, I just kinda roll my eyes and start backing away. See I have read this website! She then gives me that look and I just tell her I gotta go back to work.

THE PAST THREE WEEKS
For the past three weeks this girl has run into me at work almost every damn day. One day she walks right up and talks to me. The next day she walks past my store with her boyfriend and wont look at me. Last week she started an argument with her boyfriend right in front of my store. This week she talks to me. Every damn day I work she makes it a point to run into me, or make sure I see her pass by outside my store. She lives two blocks from the mall where I work.

TO THE POINT
Im stumped. I haven't ask for her phone number, because she has a damn boyfriend. Of course I'm still in love with her. In fact each time I keep running into her, I keep getting flashes from the past. Its like Im falling in love with her again.

So basically yes Im and idiot. Im Doctor Stupid. I do want her back. In fact I think yesterday she gave me that look as if she was asking for my help again. But also you guys need to know that her boyfriend happens to be a police officer!!!!! Yup In screwed. I know this is gonna be bad. But yet I work a crappy job in a mall, the economy sucks, what else have I got to do?
Ive decided I want her back. This could take a while, but it could be fun. And its also very dangerous and kinda exciting. The cops in this town are known to be very corrupt.

QUESTIONS
1. Do I ask for her number? What if I call her and her boyfriend finds out? Maybe he is abusive and she gets the crap beat out of her and I wind up in jail for some false crime?

2. Do I give her my number? Honey here is my number call me if you need anything.

3. When we were together, the leg that she was shot in hurts during the winter. It aches. I used to carry around those hand warmers where you open the package and shake the pad till it gets hot, and I used to open one and hold it on her leg to ease the pain. It became one of those things. I knew her so well that I could tell when her leg was aching. She used to joke around and ask me if I had any hand warmers on me. I would open up my backpack and show her a stock of them. Ive thought about getting one and just laying it outside her house or where she works so that she would find it. Kind of like a calling card of some kind.

4. If you Don Juans were me, and you wanted her back, what would you do the next time you ran into her? Keep in mind that she always meets me with a friend who is “her boyfriends friend” who is a guy. So far I haven’t had a chance to talk to her alone. Both of us keep communicating with our eyes, her “friend” has no clue what we are doing.

5. Another idea is just tell her… hey honey when your single again, come look me up, lets talk about old times.

I don’t know where to start. I decided to turn to you professionals and see what kind of advice you have to offer.
I appreciate your time!

 

[kingsam]

a DJ wouldnt want her back, wouldnt get into stupid games, he would find women who are Sane and like him, not the drama...

your only wasting your life doing this

edit in reply to below - this isnt gonna go anwwhere, not LTR nothing you will just get messed around... but if thats what u like/want, so be it
she will love it! the drama, the attention...you will just be her little bit.ch! then she will end up back wiht her BF at some point...and you will feel sorry 4 yourself!

nowhere does it say LTRS are bad, in fact a LTR wiht a high qulity woman is much better than random hookups...

 

[Doctor()Stupid]

yup

Well I expect many of these kinds of replies. And yes I agree from your perspective. But I dont see it a waste of my time. To some people laying around next to a lake with a cold can of beer in my hand praying for a big fish to come along and take off with my fishing pole can be considered a waste of my time. But I happen to enjoy doing it.

Its my time. Ill decide what is a waste of my time. Keep in mind I dont spend my time filling my phone with numbers. From my perspective spending your life having sex with as many girls as you can is a waste of time. Why not just masterbate, at least you would save minutes and memory on your phone.

Falling in love with a girl is far better than showing your friends how many numbers you got last night. It may sound like stupid games. But I see it as a delicate dance.

But I dont mean to sound defensive. And yes I guess I am a bit defensive. I appreciate your input. And I will put it on my pros and cons list.

But for all the rest of you studs, I already expect many more of these comments. Im looking for ideas I guess more than advice. I figure one of you will eventually have an interesting idea.

Thanx my friend.

 

[runner83]

QUESTIONS
1. Do I ask for her number? What if I call her and her boyfriend finds out? Maybe he is abusive and she gets the crap beat out of her and I wind up in jail for some false crime?

No. Unless of course you think she's worthy of your time. Although I think the technical term for someone like yourself is Cap'n Save-a-Ho.

2. Do I give her my number? Honey here is my number call me if you need anything.

No. See point 1.

3. When we were together, the leg that she was shot in hurts during the winter. It aches. I used to carry around those hand warmers where you open the package and shake the pad till it gets hot, and I used to open one and hold it on her leg to ease the pain. It became one of those things. I knew her so well that I could tell when her leg was aching. She used to joke around and ask me if I had any hand warmers on me. I would open up my backpack and show her a stock of them. Ive thought about getting one and just laying it outside her house or where she works so that she would find it. Kind of like a calling card of some kind.

That seems kind of creepy.

4. If you Don Juans were me, and you wanted her back, what would you do the next time you ran into her? Keep in mind that she always meets me with a friend who is “her boyfriends friend” who is a guy. So far I haven’t had a chance to talk to her alone. Both of us keep communicating with our eyes, her “friend” has no clue what we are doing.

A man with proper self-worth wouldn't waste his time with a girl like this, unless it was only for mind-blowing s*x...

5. Another idea is just tell her… hey honey when your single again, come look me up, lets talk about old times.

No.

Honestly, you need to think seriously about why you would want to be with this girl. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but I would recommend moving on.