Need advice on a tricky **** test

[Skyforger]

Hey all. I'll try to keep this brief as it's a simple question, but some background might be necessary.

There's a girl I know at work. Cute, friendly, holds up a feisty image in public but is quite sweet/submissive with a man she respects, in private. Can have strong emotions though. We had an on/off relationship for a while, I finally cut things off, more or less saying I needed a relationship of a more stable, consistently high caliber, emotionally and physically. I told her it could even be with her if she could demonstrate to me that she could form such a relationship in the future, but that I wouldn't wait around for that to happen.

Anyways. The relationship failed in part because of how beta I was. I acknowledged it, I'm changing that hardcore right now, but it is a work in progress. All the girls I work with love it when I pay attention to them now, and laugh a lot, and say how much different I am lately, so I guess I'm getting somewhere.

The girl I described above is kinda confused now. She seems fairly attracted to me at times, but seems to be resisting it. That's not surprising; she's trying to let me 'move on,' and she's thinking about dating some other dude. But the chemistry is strong. I'm starting to recognize most(?) **** tests, and 'pass' maybe 70% of the time. But she keeps on asking me to do little things for her around the office - i.e, can you watch the checkin while I run to the back, will you fix my computer, will you carry my cup my hands are full - stuff like that. I feel like it's a **** test, and I fail every time because I'm not sure how to refuse or reframe - refusing straight up might work for a new girl, but I don't have a reputation for being a jackass so I can't really do that without looking like I'm forcing it. And she usually knows when I'm not urgently busy, so no excuse there. Just feel like this makes me look like I'm (still) her ***** - I was for quite a while, ha.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

 

[Greasy Pig]

Never be afraid to offend a woman if it means sticking by your principles.
That means you have to say no sometimes. Do it playfully, like: "Nah, I'm sure you can handle coming back for the cup" and laugh when you say it as you walk off.
If she gets pyssed off, just laugh some more and make out like it's not a big deal. She'll probably call you every name under the sun but just be a rock.
She needs to learn that you're not her little *****, and she might have to put out again in order to get your full attention.

 

[stevo]

But she keeps on asking me to do little things for her around the office - i.e, can you watch the checkin while I run to the back, will you fix my computer, will you carry my cup my hands are full

Seriously? She wont respect you if you do all that. You'll be the ''nice guy'' while she's fvcking the dude who literally do not give a fvck about her

Man the fvck up. Do you want to fvck this chic? stop giving a sheet about how she feels and start thinking about how you're perceived.

 

[Skyforger]

Ya, I realize I need to stop. I'm just trying to figure how to best do that; I think she may believe I'm 'faking' being a 'jerk' to impress her if I go too strong, in which case game over. Or do you all think I'm just rationalizing comfortably staying beta?

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Once, my ex tried to get more to unzip her work dress for her because she couldn't reach it herself. Usually I would have agreed but this time I simply said "No". She bïtched and moaned and I ignored her. Later that night we had the best sex of our relationship, finishing with our first (and her last) attempt at anal.

 

[Krueg]

Sorry guy it is OVER!! You know your really not that into her and broke things off. Congrats! This is going to save you time and pain in the future. You must find a woman for YOU! and theres plenty of them..

Side note: Yes, you probably have some feelings and may have gotten attached to her. But, this another step in your life of improving your self. You dodged a bullet kid!

 

[El Payaso]

Even if you're not busy and you don't want to do something, you can still say no. Why? Because you don't give a fvck what she thinks. That's what bring alpha is all about. YOU do what YOU want to do.

 

[Skyforger]

Thanks all. Sounds like I just need to find my balls back again.

I'm kinda using this girl for 'practice' at this point - not in any cruel way, more or less I'm learning how to get women to respect me. And I've already seen how, even if they dislike individual 'jerk' behaviors, they become much happier around me. It's win-win.

Kreug, thanks for the directness. This girl has a lot going for her, and so if she really gets her act together I wouldn't be entirely opposed to trying a relationship again. But if it started looking at all like the old one, I'd walk. As it stands right now I doubt that will happen though, there are better options.