"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need advice on 20 something.

jcjetty

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My corner market has a young cashier who has been holding eye contact pursuing conversation etc. Last night I decided to take action. I walk up to her and hand her my phone and tell her to give me your number and I'll call you sometime. She held my gaze and said "huh" then took my phone put her number in it handed it back.

I texted her 15 or 20 minutes later and said something like " I hope you offer at least a little resistance... Keep it fun.

She said lol
What do you mean? I told her I was teasing. A little more light playful banter and I told her why don't you text me when you get home. About an 90 minutes later she texted I'm home. I replied I'll be home in 15. She said awesome.

In that 15 minute span she went from returning my texts immediately to not replying at all. I told her to hit me back when she is free because I was going to make dinner. That got a quick response. She said she was going to bed.

1st I really feel like I need to call her out some how on that. I don't want to be an ass about it. But I also don't want her thinking it's OK to bull **** me.

2nd obviously this isn't a long term thing. But I am out of my element. Any advice at all would be great! What would be the best way to ask her out. What would be a good idea for a date... Anything.. thanks!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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LJBFB

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- sounds like you over texted

-"Text me when you get home" is a chick text.

- Calling a girl out this early will more than likely never improve odds of advancement.
 

jcjetty

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- sounds like you over texted

-"Text me when you get home" is a chick text.

- Calling a girl out this early will more than likely never improve odds of advancement.
What I think happened she got off work and had plans already or she was making plans. I just asked for her number less than 2 hours previous. Also I was able to reengage in some witty banter but I wasn't about to push the issue. so I suddenly became busy myself
 

LJBFB

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What I think happened she got off work and had plans already or she was making plans. I just asked for her number less than 2 hours previous. Also I was able to reengage in some witty banter but I wasn't about to push the issue. so I suddenly became busy myself

id just tell her she should meet you for a drink, at a location of your choice, on a day or give her the option of 2 days that work for you with the earliest being about 2 or 3 days from now. She has 2 choices accept or counter offer.
 

jcjetty

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id just tell her she should meet you for a drink, at a location of your choice, on a day or give her the option of 2 days that work for you with the earliest being about 2 or 3 days from now. She has 2 choices accept or counter offer.
Perfect! Thank you!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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EyeBRollin

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I texted her 15 or 20 minutes later and said something like " I hope you offer at least a little resistance... Keep it fun.

She said lol
What do you mean? I told her I was teasing. A little more light playful banter and I told her why don't you text me when you get home. About an 90 minutes later she texted I'm home. I replied I'll be home in 15. She said awesome.
Simple advice - stop texting.

This is why we tell people not to text. Your teasing over text is lame. It's words on a screen with no voice inflection, no body language, and no eye contact. Stop doing it. The phone is for getting a date. All you're doing is giving away the product (you).

Food for thought - if you stay off the phone she'll be forced to either drop you or see you in person. Don't worry, an interested woman won't go anywhere.
 

jcjetty

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Simple advice - stop texting.

This is why we tell people not to text. Your teasing over text is lame. It's words on a screen with no voice inflection, no body language, and no eye contact. Stop doing it. The phone is for getting a date. All you're doing is giving away the product (you).

Food for thought - if you stay off the phone she'll be forced to either drop you or see you in person. Don't worry, an interested woman won't go anywhere.
That is sound advice!
 

Desdinova

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My biggest question is: Where's the rapport???

A little more light playful banter and I told her why don't you text me when you get home. About an 90 minutes later she texted I'm home.
Sounds like you were doing well up to this point.

I replied I'll be home in 15. She said awesome.
The conversation took a nose dive because you responded with something boring. Responding with "It's about time! Now go do your chores like a good girl... :D" will make for more interesting conversation

If you're going to build rapport over texting, you need to keep it playful and fun. You also need to take breaks from texting her. Leave her hanging when things are at a high point in your conversation.

I told her to hit me back when she is free because I was going to make dinner. That got a quick response. She said she was going to bed.
See, this 5hit is boring. Would you be interested if I told you when I was going to make dinner? Why the fvck would you care about me feeding myself? If you have nothing interesting to text in that moment, then don't text at all. Message her when something playful, fun or interesting pops into your head. If you do that, she'll associate a message from you with something fun to do.
 

jcjetty

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My biggest question is: Where's the rapport???



Sounds like you were doing well up to this point.



The conversation took a nose dive because you responded with something boring. Responding with "It's about time! Now go do your chores like a good girl... :D" will make for more interesting conversation

If you're going to build rapport over texting, you need to keep it playful and fun. You also need to take breaks from texting her. Leave her hanging when things are at a high point in your conversation.



See, this 5hit is boring. Would you be interested if I told you when I was going to make dinner? Why the fvck would you care about me feeding myself? If you have nothing interesting to text in that moment, then don't text at all. Message her when something playful, fun or interesting pops into your head. If you do that, she'll associate a message from you with something fun to do.
Appreciate the input thanks!
 
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