Need advice, girl cheating on me with her BF

[lifemisspent]

So three months ago I meet this amazing girl at this club. We exchange phone numbers , the next day she texts me telling me that she is sososososo sorry but she has a bf and if I never wanted to hear from her again that would be fine. I told her I didnt care and still wanted to see her. We went out a bunch of times, we email each other daily, talk every couple of days, the sex is amazing and she flatters me with quite a bit of stuff. I have always acted very non chalant about the bf thing but lately it has started to bother me cause I am developing feelings for this girl. I asked her the other day how it's going with him and she said " terrible, really really bad " so I dont understand why she is with him. I am not putting any pressure on her at all to do anything about it. But when a weekend like this one passes by and I dont see her cause she is with him I get kinda pissed and dont understand it although I never show her this side, rather I tell her I had a great weekend with the boys.

I dont want to scare her by telling her it's me or him, but Im beginning to feel like an accomplice that is giving her the best of both worlds. I think I need to insinuate that I will be taking off if the bf things goes on much longer. That might make her fearful of losing me and ditch the bf. They have only been together 8 months.


Pls help, not sure how much longer I can take this.

 

[lifemisspent]

Sorry, the title should be " She is cheating on her BF with me "

 

[LittleBigOne]

When she cheats on him she will cheat on you someday. Meet girls who are single and respectfull.

 

[lifemisspent]

Little, Im not looki that far ahead, just want her all to myself for now.............she said she has never cheated before but obvioulsy she is doing it because something is missing. Her words , not mine.

Should I just continue to be patient ?

 

[LittleBigOne]

Those are her words...but not the facts. How you know she never cheated before? Don't believe she is having files about it back home. She likes the sex and attention from you for sure but as long she doesn't break up with the guy you will never have her for yourself. So, once more, see other girls too and don't let her screw your mind.

 

[EFFORT]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90482

 

[Conquer]

what a ho man, girl cant be trusted, forget bout it

 

[Joe Stud]

ok im the oddball here. IMO if you like her, and your gut feel is that she is a great match for you, you must stick to what you have been doing, and no ultimatums. also, spin other plates, dont let yourself get too deep with her.

I happen to believe that the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule is not 100%. I know a woman who cheated on her hubby when she was 40, and they broke up. she later married the guy she was cheating with and has been happy and faithful for 30 years now. use your gut feel, logic, and keep busy with other women.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

So three months ago I meet this amazing girl at this club. We exchange phone numbers , the next day she texts me telling me that she is sososososo sorry but she has a bf and if I never wanted to hear from her again that would be fine. I told her I didnt care and still wanted to see her. We went out a bunch of times, we email each other daily, talk every couple of days, the sex is amazing and she flatters me with quite a bit of stuff. I have always acted very non chalant about the bf thing but lately it has started to bother me cause I am developing feelings for this girl. I asked her the other day how it's going with him and she said " terrible, really really bad " so I dont understand why she is with him. I am not putting any pressure on her at all to do anything about it. But when a weekend like this one passes by and I dont see her cause she is with him I get kinda pissed and dont understand it although I never show her this side, rather I tell her I had a great weekend with the boys.

I dont want to scare her by telling her it's me or him, but Im beginning to feel like an accomplice that is giving her the best of both worlds. I think I need to insinuate that I will be taking off if the bf things goes on much longer. That might make her fearful of losing me and ditch the bf. They have only been together 8 months.


Pls help, not sure how much longer I can take this.

No offense but your emotions are giving your "chump" thoughts now. When you mess around with a slvt who's in a relationship the cardinal rule is you cannot, under any circumstance develop feelings for the byatch.

Why are you not dating other girls???


Telling her anything of the sort (me or him) will only damage her view of you. She's obviously lying to you about their relationship, because if it really was THAT bad; she'd ditch him.

Lastly even if she does leave him eventually, your a fool for thinking she'd stay faithful to you. She's giving you a crystal ball into your future with her if you decide to take that path. Only in the future you'll be the bf who's getting cheated on with the new dude at the club.

She's fuvk material; nothing more.....


Don't put your foot in fire and wonder why it burns..


PIMP

 

[lifemisspent]

I am dating other girls.......

But none of them excite me the way this one does. I have no idea why, I am so firggin attracted to her. There are so many variables and intangibles it's hard to describe, bottom line is she really turns my crank.

I agree that having her find out that Im dating would be a great strategy but how to bring this up w/o making it seem like Im telling her this on purpose to make her jealous. She would have to ask herself " why is he telling me this ? " so I need to somehow insinuate it. Any ideas ?

 

[scrouds]

You are attracted to her becuase you can't have her completelty. The mind wants what it can't have, and when it can't get it, it develops feelings.

Spin more plates.

 

[playerone]

I dont want to scare her by telling her it's me or him, but Im beginning to feel like an accomplice that is giving her the best of both worlds.

Or.. you can feel like you're getting laid and don't even have to be committed to her.

I was in a similar situation like yours, but it didn't involve sex and she was a virgin. I hung out with her for awhile, got some attraction going, and asked her how things were going on with her boyfriend. She told me they were doing badly like in your case, but they never broke up until recently. I'm talking about something that happened about 8 months ago.

Well, you can either get your emotions out of the way now, or get hurt later.

Anyway, i'm just starting to hang out with the girl again.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Why is she with him?
He most likely is providing for her in some way. Either through money/stability or through giving her the other end of the emotional roller coaster. AKA: she has great fun with you and is very happy, but she also needs to feel sad, angry, and neglected (because part of her feels unworthy of being happy)... and she gets that bad part from him...

Is this is the first time she's cheated?
As a guy very experienced in "cheating" women, i can say im 99% sure this isn't! She gave it up way too easy. Girls who are 1st/2nd time cheaters normally take months and a lot of work to get in to. The ones who are easy to get to cheat are normally experienced in it (even though they normally will say otherwise)...

Will she most likely cheat on you?
yes, im a firm believer that experienced cheaters are VERY likely to cheat, because they will turn to that at any point in your relationship where she's not getting something out of it that she feels she needs (she might not even be aware... it's sometimes completely on a subconscious level).

So why do you want her to be exclusive to you?
Part of the reason the passion is SO BIG is because you guys can't crowd each other. You guys can't spend your every waking hour staring into each others eyes. You both get an intense rush in each others precense... But let me promise you something - this would end rather quickly if you two started dating. Trust me... your attachment and desire and passion can last SO MUCH longer if you two stay scarce to each other...

Let the other guy take care of her, buy her stuff, and deal with her moodiness.... you get the other half of her

 

[women haze]

Women are really weak man...They destroy your life. Get out of that situation as soon as you can. Also stop being a wimp there are plenty of other girls out there that will turn your crank. You just aren't giving them a chance.

 

[EFFORT]

But none of them excite me the way this one does. I have no idea why, I am so firggin attracted to her. There are so many variables and intangibles it's hard to describe, bottom line is she really turns my crank.

I agree that having her find out that Im dating would be a great strategy but how to bring this up w/o making it seem like Im telling her this on purpose to make her jealous. She would have to ask herself " why is he telling me this ? " so I need to somehow insinuate it. Any ideas ?

You need to be having SEX with other girls

 

[Lust]

What's the problem?

This guy busts his ass all day to keep his girl, while she runs to you behind his back? She's probably with him because he's "boyfriend material", which usually means, rich, nice to look at, but BETA-MALE. He's the guy that looks after her.

You're the guy she thinks about every night.

I don't see the problem here.

 

[DJDamage]

I think the OP doesn't realise that what he is having with this girl right now, its the best he can get out of this situation.

His brain is rationalizing that it will be much more amazing if she drops her boyfriend and be with only him. What he fails to realise is that the whole dynamics of his relationship will change. Now he will have to maintain the relationship and put up with her new constant sh1t tests just to get access to her pvssy. Not to mention (as others already have) that she is probably a habitual cheater and will just fvck another guy on the side (just as she is doing right now, the only difference is that the OP is required alot less time, money and bullsh1t to have sex with her while her current boyfriend is shouldering the heavy load).

lifemisspent you are getting oneitis for a chick who is only needing one thing out of you (a hard c0ck). If she really wanted to be with you she would have dropped her bf a long time ago without you needing to ask.