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bcude

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Very good post and it is best for the child for sure.
However i must disagree on what is in black, it is being too accommodating.
I think best thing to do is to follow the signed agreement to the letter. Sometime you wont be able to keep your daughter longer you made other plan and then she will use it to create drama. and make you the bad guy does not matter if you always do more, it does not count in their solipsism mind.
Anyway that was my experience.
You beat me to it. I agree to keep the peace, apologize and be civil as a whole but somewhere there's a line of self-respect. A line that baby mommas will cross quite often i'm realising reading these stories, since they, like all women are like children and push until they run into some resistance and thrive in the drama combined with the underlying bitterness of having their big dream crushed.
When she's starting to blackmail using the daughter and fishing for apologies eventhough she's 100% in the wrong, man i couldn't do that sh1t.
 

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stringpuller

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I'm afraid of the appointment and that the responsible person at the youth welfare office will try to team up with my ex and cut off my balls.. Any tips on how i should act there?
Do not take your w2 in there. Take an an hourly or weekly statement based off your real hours.
And ask the fcking welfare state to ask her to help YOU take care of your kid.
SPIN THE TABLE.
Trust me on this. Do not disclose your earnings whatsoever. Times are changing
 

stringpuller

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Her only power over me are the kids now and she knows that. She always says im not responsible father but she knows i am because if not she couldnt use them against me.
This is about money now. Dont kid yourself she dont give a fck about your relationship with your kids
 

Scars

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You beat me to it. I agree to keep the peace, apologize and be civil as a whole but somewhere there's a line of self-respect. A line that baby mommas will cross quite often i'm realising reading these stories, since they, like all women are like children and push until they run into some resistance and thrive in the drama combined with the underlying bitterness of having their big dream crushed.
When she's starting to blackmail using the daughter and fishing for apologies eventhough she's 100% in the wrong, man i couldn't do that sh1t.
Very good post and it is best for the child for sure.
However i must disagree on what is in black, it is being too accommodating.
I think best thing to do is to follow the signed agreement to the letter. Sometime you wont be able to keep your daughter longer you made other plan and then she will use it to create drama. and make you the bad guy does not matter if you always do more, it does not count in their solipsism mind.
Anyway that was my experience.
In that example, she was definitely met with some resistance. It wasn't like I just agreed to it willingly. I apologized a week later, after I said a bunch of mean sh!t to her and then ignored her for a week. That was the whole reason she wanted me to apologize. But I absolutely meant everything I said.

Bcude does have a point though. It's something I already knew, but he was able to put it into context. BM (and women in general) will always push your buttons to see how much they can get away with. This behavior never stops. Even if your married, women are always testing the boundaries.

This most recent instance with my BM was after months of silence and being civil. My theory is that a lot of girls get bored and will sometimes run a sh!t test or self sabotage when things are good. She picked a fight with me because her other boyfriend got tired of her **** and left her, and I know they used to fight all the time because they would do it in front of my daughter and she would tell me. BM probably felt weird not arguing with someone, so she picked a fight with me. Some women just love living in chaos and drama. She knows I don't play that sh!t though.
 

bcude

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This most recent instance with my BM was after months of silence and being civil. My theory is that a lot of girls get bored and will sometimes run a sh!t test or self sabotage when things are good. She picked a fight with me because her other boyfriend got tired of her **** and left her, and I know they used to fight all the time because they would do it in front of my daughter and she would tell me. BM probably felt weird not arguing with someone, so she picked a fight with me. Some women just love living in chaos and drama. She knows I don't play that sh!t though.
I think you're right, it just comes down to craving the emotional rollercoaster where they have to feel everything from sad to happy to feel ALIVE. Too much good means there's no balance. Some women seem to need it more than others. You've to put in an effort to stay on the ground and never lose your cool because that's what they're looking for. I realise this is much harder with BM's you have to have a cordial relationship with, but it's the only way to keep your sanity, for you and your child. Calm and collected indifference, when she's out of line you calmly put her in her place and ignore all the BS. When you say all this mean sh1t to her, warranted or not, she gets ammunition to throw it back at your face and use it to blackmail you.
 
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