"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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need advice...facebook messaging before i get a phone#?

dynamicallyidle

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There's a girl in my class who I want to get in touch with. I can tell from our interactions in class that she digs me. I haven't asked her for her # yet. I'm thinking about just facebook messaging her to set up a date. But I only know her on a first name basis, so I'd have to track her down through all the people with the same first name as her...

Should I just wait until I can ask her for her # in person? Or should I just go for it on facebook and ask her? I mean, what's the harm? Right?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GloriouslyInsane

Master Don Juan
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You want to "track" her down (as in stalk?).Imagine you being her and some guy pops out of nowhere on facebook and says to you "hey im x" without you ever giving him your facebook.Creepy isn't it? What about asking her if she uses facebook and giving you her address? Or just asking for her phone#?

PS:I have no idea how this messaging crap works (facebook,myspace) so i might be off on what you're saying.
 

GloriouslyInsane

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Yeah i realize that but you ARE saying you will track her down and find her on facebook,which is creepy,or at LEAST desperate.
 

dynamicallyidle

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Is it necessarily creepy? I've been facebooked by people I've met once at parties, and it wasn't a big deal...and if I was facebooked by a girl I LIKED, then I was happy, not creeped out.

Would a girl be necessarily creeped out? Assuming she was interested in me
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Rad

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Just do it man. If she digs you, she's not gonna care.
 

GloriouslyInsane

Master Don Juan
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dynamicallyidle, you KNOW the best route is to just ask for her phone# in person (since you already know her) so why beat around the bush? And if she's interested in you she will give it to you.You were happy because you don't have 20 guys hitting on you every week through all available means (assuming she's hot).
 

dynamicallyidle

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the phone number would be best. but facebook would be immediate. a phone number would not come until next week...that's one weekend down the drain.

i still don't think facebook would be THAT bad.
 

GloriouslyInsane

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Important thing is to do SOMETHING.Now,a weekend down the drain? Game more girls man,you don't even have her phone# and you're attached to her?
 

Deadly_Ripped

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Add her to your list of friends asap, and then get the number from her in person. Never get digits or arrange **** over the internet. It has NEVER worked for me, and I've tried many more times than I'd like to admit, and many more times than necessary to recognize that it doesn't work.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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