"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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need a second opinion:

Dominicus

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ok, so there's this girl that i recently started talking to. i had a couple classes with her a while ago, but didnt really notice her. she is the really quiet type, i mean, she barely talks at all in school. well, after striking up a convo with her recently, she seems cooler than i thought, and she def. seems into me (throws up tons of IOIs, etc.). i asked for the digits and promptly recieved them along with a note to call her sometime to set something up.

so i called her and asked if she wanted to go downtown with me and a couple of friends this weekend. since i know she's shy, i didnt want this to be a high-pressure situation, just a relaxed environment where she wont have to worry about herself being the focus of the evening. she replied that as much as she'd love to go, she is working that day, and then proceeded to talk about how much she loves going downtown and walking around and that she "really wishes" she didnt have to work.

so basically, i've decided that im going to "next" her, even though i've talked to her since and she still acts interested in me.

im starting to think that she must be showing "false" interest or something (which i dont understand, because she's not a tease at all and barely talks to any other boys at school) because if she DID have that interest there, and really DID want to hang out with me, she would have TRIED to find a better time for both of us to hang out. but she didnt even try to reshedule.

this is making me angry because she's pretty attractive and we actually have a LOT in common. i really just want to get to know her better.

c'mon guys, throw me a second opinion before i make my final decision!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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miba

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Maybe she didnt want to go with your friends because she is shy and might feel out of place. Try organizing something with just the two of you, after all, she asked you to, didnt she when you got her number.
 

girl_in_a_boy_forum

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Give her another chance; she sounds genuinely interested in you. Ask about her work schedule so you can find a time that works for both of you. And yeah, going out with your close buddies can be pretty intimidating, especially if she's as shy as you describe her to be, so maybe focus on some one-on-one stuff for now.
 

Dominicus

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alright, but i dont think i'll call her for at least another week. if i ask right away what her schedule is, i might seem a littler stalker-ish or something.

i guess you're right about the friends thing. i just though it would be easier for her since she wouldnt have all the attention on her
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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You should probably call her soon or else she may forget about you.
If she gave you her number she'll trust that you're not a stalker, like why would anyone give a stalker their phone number? Just chat with her on the phone a little. I wouldn't wait more then a couple days to call, but a week is kinda taking it too far.
 

Dominicus

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i dont think she'll forget about me after a week.

i dunno, i just dont want to keep calling her, so thats why im gonna wait. thanks for the input tho.
 

bigw

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Go for it, but yeah I know you thought you were doing the right thing by making it a 'non-high-pressure' situation, but by having MORE people around, it would actually make it worse, get my drift?

Organise something for the two of you, and make sure she's not on any pedestal...do something that you know you'll both enjoy, but something you want to do. It'll make it easier for her because she won't have to think of as much if you're in control. Win win in my eyes.
 
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