"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Need a little help about a first date

The Comeback Kid

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Laugh at me, snicker and make jokes, but I need a refresher course on a first date.

Back in high school, I was well-known, but was also small, scrawny, and not the most confident person (more of an AFC back then). Thus, I did not get many dates. Fast forward to now (just began Sophomore year) and I am a changed man. I began to hit the gym hard last year and put on 30lbs of muscle, I run almost every day, and most importantly I have a lot more confidence - I am a leader among my friends.

A few days ago, I felt confident enough to put things on the line and ask a HB9 out. I met her the first day of school this year (she's a Freshmen) and we tend to run into each other a bit (perhaps a little "fate?"). I sounded very confident when I called her, but I wasn't exactly banking on a "yes" - I didn't have much to lose so I gave it a shot and hoped for the best. She's very attractive with electric eyes (hence the HB9) and has the personality to match. Well, sure enough she was into it (I said "Let get together sometime next week" and she said "We should!"). I don't want to say I didn't have much hope of a yes, but it was definitely a pleasant surprise of sorts. She said she'd call, but I let her know I'd call early this coming week with a gameplan.

Due to past experiences, I don't really trust girls early on in this sort of situation. I don't know this girl REALLY well and there's always the possibility she could flake, so for now I feel more comfortable calling the shots (I'm using some of Pook's lessons). Also, if it's not going to work, I'd rather it be with me trying to get something set up instead of waiting on her. I attend school in a major city, and some of my friends here who live near the city as well advised a laid-back resturaunt to go to for the first date, so we'll go there (I like bowling too, but that can be a second date).

So now I get to the part I really need your help on: How do I act on a first date?
- I think I know the general topics to talk about during the date, but is there anything you know of that definitely works? I hate awkward silences, and when they happen I have a habit of trying to force conversation.
-How do I go about things in a physical sense? No no no, I do not mean trying to go deep on the first date...I mean more in the sense of hugging, holding hands, etc.?
-Here's the biggie - first kiss: during the date, at the end of the date, or not at all? This sort of situation actually has never come up before for me, so I have no idea how to approach this. I want this get together to be casual, but it will probaly be seen as a date, so that means I may have to go for the kiss.


You may feel I am overthinking it, but I want to look like I know exactly what I'm doing. I really want to make it work. After you all get in your laughs and jokes about me not really knowing what to do on a first date, feel free to provide any advice, insight, or pointers.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Dongfu

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Keep it fun and relaxed while slowly increasing a little pressure. But given the tone of your post, and your general over concern, there's to
much we can say that will help you. You just need to relax about the whole thing. You gotta not care about the outcome.
 

The Comeback Kid

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I'm not exactly concerned; I just want to make sure I know the general gist of how things typically go.

Honestly, I think I'll do just fine but if I run into a rough spot, having some additional insight will definitely help.
 

zerocelcius

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DON'T go to a Dinner!

It is awkward enough eating around a stranger, let alone one that you are trying to look sexy around (from her point of view.. as well as yours).

Pick somewhere that you two can interact physically. If you have one of those spots that you can go to and get some ala cart food and play games like skeet ball or something it would be much better.
 

The Comeback Kid

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zerocelcius said:
DON'T go to a Dinner!

It is awkward enough eating around a stranger, let alone one that you are trying to look sexy around (from her point of view.. as well as yours).

Pick somewhere that you two can interact physically. If you have one of those spots that you can go to and get some ala cart food and play games like skeet ball or something it would be much better.
I hear ya...only thing is that I think going to a place near campus may be the best bet here (again, my school is in a major city). If I go deep into the city and the date doesn't go well, that ride back WILL be awkward lol.

There's a bowling alley somewhere nearby, so maybe you feel I should try that? The dinner place is simply convenient; they have great food and it is a very laid back place.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zerocelcius

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The Comeback Kid said:
I hear ya...only thing is that I think going to a place near campus may be the best bet here (again, my school is in a major city). If I go deep into the city and the date doesn't go well, that ride back WILL be awkward lol.

There's a bowling alley somewhere nearby, so maybe you feel I should try that? The dinner place is simply convenient; they have great food and it is a very laid back place.
Yea but girls are self conscious with out worrying if they have something between their teeth or a drop of ketchup on their chin. Plus the dinner is non physical and puts a natural barrier between you and her (table, food, menu, waitress, etc.)

Bowling would be the better choice. Laid back is good but uneventful which is murder for excitement.
 

Rex Man

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Yeah, Zero's right on this. While you may find axing dinner hard to swallow ( :rolleyes: ) , something more physical and interactive is needed for the first date.

Bowling, pool, etc. preferably something you're good at, in a spot you're familiar with. That way you'll be relaxed and so forth.

Also, while you may not try too hard to 'go deep' if it happens let it happen. Nothing's worse than pegging a slvt as a good girl and hop-scotching around the pu$$y.

......ALRIGHT! :up:
 
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