Hey all. Well I've been with my girl for about 2 years. Just recently her exhusband has been startin crapola with her about takin care of their child. Yeah I know single mother crap but she was married for 7 years and it just didnt work out. She called me complaining about it. The whole situation is between them and I by no means want to get involved with the problem but it's urking me now. I mean she's my girl and all and I hate ta see this crapola happening to her. Should I just let them deal with their problem or step in and have a say? The guy is such an ******* pos. I just wanna beat his ass over this crapola but that is just crossing the line isn't it?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Need a little advice
- Thread starter Dummy
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
kingy
Senior Don Juan
stay away from it,
be there for your gf with assurance but dont give advice unless she asks for it.
be there for your gf with assurance but dont give advice unless she asks for it.
From what Ive heard he just gives her a hard time cuz she left after getting sick of his mentally abusive attitude. So he feels abliged to run her through hell for some reason. I've talked to him and he is a grade a *******. Ya know the type ya just wanna knock out because of their king nothing attitude.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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Obviously you DON'T know, despite giving it lip-service. But as for how to salvage this disaster, since you don't seem intent on making what *I* would call the right decision...Dummy said:Yeah I know single mother crap
What kind of crap? Does she have custody and he wants it, or does he have custody and he wants her to "do her part"? Or does he just object to the way she behaves?
Unless you feel like the kid will be somehow harmed by his actions, it's really none of your business.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
A little advice from my own hard and painful experience. Never become drawn into a woman's problems which had their origins BEFORE you and she met, or which you did not directly create.
She chose that azzhole, and she chose to become a mother by him. He did not turn ugly after they became parents. His attitude is NOT your business and her reaction to him is not your problem.
Stay out and stay away from him. It may be hard to do so but at least ONE of you need to remain unaffected by his treatment of her.
She chose that azzhole, and she chose to become a mother by him. He did not turn ugly after they became parents. His attitude is NOT your business and her reaction to him is not your problem.
Stay out and stay away from him. It may be hard to do so but at least ONE of you need to remain unaffected by his treatment of her.
Da Realist
Master Don Juan
Never try to handle a woman's problems for her because they start looking at you like you're putting pressure on them or treating them like children. If she wants to be out of the situation, she will do it. Just listen to her from time to time, tell her you have her back, and let her sort it out unless he gets violent.
My .02cents, be there, listen to her problems etc, but she does not want you to fix things or solve things. Women are strange, like if I told you my truck is making a weird noise, you would say its blah blah blah I will come over and help you. Women just want you to listen and say oh that sucks dear etc..
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Vitor nails it. Me ex was exactly the same-she just wants to ***** and let off steam,she doesn't want you to actually DO anything. Besides, how do you KNOW he's an azz? Her word means squat-she may be saying the same about you in a year.